In life we think of Love in the Happily Ever After scenario as a final destination, something you get and hold onto for life, through thick and thin. There’s obvious reasons for that, and we hold that up as our real life ideal. Love in IMVU is the same but it’s also different. It’s not a final destination or an ending here as much as a journey or process.
HollyKaren said that 99.9 relationships end here, and she’s right in one sense. She’s right if you define succeeding as leading to real life and happily ever after and failing as ending. If you define success as going up but never coming down, then there’s very little success, because what goes up here, in the end or at some point unfortunately must come down. Whether your life situation or time availability changes or you wind up falling for someone else, things definitely change faster in here than real life. But happily ever after isn’t really the goal here for most people. Just because it doesn’t lead to real life or happily ever after doesn’t mean it wasn’t successful to me.
I can hear all the cynics out there starting up, you can have fun saying that you’re “in love” here but it’s all FAKE because you’re not actually touching them. To them I’ll say that is like calling all the shooting games fake because you’re not actually shooting living people. That’s totally true, you’re not. Except unlike shooting which is defined as a “physical” act, Love is an emotion and technically that doesn’t require physical contact.
People have fallen in love with other people at a distance for a long time. People fell in love with penpals, that they had very slow minimal contact with. Here we have immediate intense communication. So you can’t say that the love (an emotion) isn’t real just because you’re not touching them. But that isn’t the point of this post.
Love to me here isn’t defined as happily ever after. I think the success of love here is defined as how beautiful the journey is or was to you both and how good you feel afterwards. Sure there’s pain on the downside. That’s because it was so good on the upside and when you take away something that good you can’t help but feel hurt. But in the end, after the pain fades, if you still feel the love, with honest good feelings for each other, to me that’s a SUCCESSFUL LOVE.
Let me exlain. :) I loved Taylor with all my heart about 9 months ago. We had a fabulous love. Sure it’s sad that the romance wound up ending. It hurt at the time, A LOT! But in the end because it was real, and I really did want the best for her, I was happy that she was happy and in love again afterwards. I said at the time and still mean it every bit as much that I want to be her biggest cheerleader. And that’s why I had to say it here, loud and clear with all my heart, that I was totally thrilled to hear her and Stephi announce their engagement.
I say that not because I don’t love her but because I do, and honestly truly loved our time and always wanted the best for her, and for Stephi. So don’t anyone whisper or worry, and Taylor I wanna be in your wedding and life here. To me that’s a successful love in imvu. We enjoyed the process, made life beautiful for each other, and in the end love the memories and good feelings that last.
The church I go to has great popular christian music that I really love, and it always makes me think of the people I love in here. One song in particular By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North, hit me so hard. I put some pictures from IMVU to it and wanted to share it. It’s not a fancy edited video but I hope you enjoy it.
….About two hours after I posted this Taylor divorced me.
Sure it’s only symbolic and it doesn’t create any actual physical commitment. But a lot of things here are symbolic but it is still a very powerful thing and feeling. Before the wedding I was rereading my wedding tips and one line stuck with me. It’s as important as you make it. That is probably true of a lot of things in here but especially of marriage.
I’m proud and thrilled to be her partner and to commit myself to pleasing her. I was already putting her first, but there is something special about saying it in front everyone so clearly. It is the most amazing feeling to stand there in such a beautiful dress in front of her and all your family, crying and promising yourself.
I talked to a friend who has been dating the same person for a long time. She said her partner didn’t really want to be married and was happy as girlfriends. And I can appreciate that. I was so afraid to get married for a long time. And theres clearly no teal need to get married here. But even if they aren’t really ready for it or thinking about that, if you ask them in a good way that gives them the ability to quietly say, no they’re not ready yet, I think it can be a great thing for most relationships. Just make sure they understand that it’s not necessarily a yes or no thing but a yes or not now thing.
I honestly knew pretty quickly with Taylor that I wasn’t just close enough or in love enough to marry her, but that I was meant to be with her. I don’t mean to go on too much about her but I really do love her more than I can ever say. So bear with this newly wed a little.
PS. Thank you to everyone that sent even the shortest nice note. It means a lot and reminded me that the names and pics in your list are real people. That might sound dumb, but its easy to get used to seeing people and let them become invisible. And it reminded me that even if you get a chain letter type message, or just an announcement type thing, write back just to say hi. Being in contact and on their list and messages is worth it.
Wow, I just proposed and got proposed to by Taylor. It was so amazing. I sit here with my head just spinning. (Yes more than usual! Way more!!) I’ve had the most magical two months. It feels funny to say it’s two months, because it feels like I’ve known Taylor forever. And well if I haven’t known her forever, I know that I will. I just left her a few minutes ago and wanted to write something and share her video. It obviously touched MY HEART. I don’t know how to say enough how much I love her. It was beautiful because she knows I love videos and she made a video for me. It was amazing… She proposed to me, and I proposed back to her! I know she loves music so I sang her a song to ask her to marry me. (I’ll probably use the song in a video later)
I was starting a post about Happiness earlier today, because out of all the awesome things I’ve gotten from here, the unbelievable happiness has to be the most amazing and surprising benefit. I have absolutely never been so happy in all my life as I have recently in here. And it just seems to bet more and more intense, every day. There’s really no way to explain it or even describe the level of happiness I’ve had in here. Hopefully Taylor’s video shows some of it. I feel like no matter what happens in my life, I will always be able to come here and be happy.
Some people say it’s not real, but I have to tell you the emotions are so very real, so very intense and powerful. When you’re gazing deeply into someone’s eyes that you know and love deeply in your heart and so happy to marry them, sobbing trying to type or even just say yes, it’s real. When you’re sharing the death of a relative, and realize who in your life cares most, you’ll know it’s real. When you feel their arms around you, and smell the flowers, and laugh so hard your cheeks hurt, that’s real. It’s so real, it’s scary. No it’s not scary, it’s just so intense, so passionate, so priceless!
I love you with all my heart. I can’t wait to marry you and show the world how much I love you, and how committed I am to you. You swept me off my feet and won my heart, making it look so easy to wipe out every defense. You mean more than I can say, but I’ll spend my lifetime here showing you, loving you, pleasing you in every way.
Susan and Katy,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you’ve done. YOU have made this all possible and the most amazing thing and I really mean that. YOU made this possible and every bit of love I feel for Taylor I also feel for you. You’ve made LYN mean something amazing.