I read this in a relationship book recently. It seemed true and interesting when you look at behavior in imvu too. Men do seem more visually oriented (male strippers are rare) and I think flip side is true too. Women like to be appreciated more for their looks more than men. I think that comes from biology since in order to do much, men need to be attracted and women need to be able to attract them. Women also like to get love notes and read romance novels more than men. I also thought about how it relates to my activities in imvu and I have to admit I like to talk during sex. Ok, I admit I talk a LOT during sex. It helps me to feel it more. And it’s what the guy says that turns me on, more than any certain look. OK, looking at some things is definitely fun and helps too, don’t get me wrong. ~blushing~
For guys, the good news is that it’s what you say that makes you sexy or not, more than anything else. On the other hand, the bad news is that it’s also what you say that makes you sexy or not too. That means if you want women to give you what you want visually, give them what they want verbally. Talk more! Romantic appreciative and caring things work the best. But even general conversation, not talking about anything special or leading, helps make a girl feel better and enjoy spending time with you. Even if you think of yourself as the strong silent type, open up and ramble a little. It’ll almost certainly get you further in terms of a relationship and having fun here than being more quiet.
I also think that guys tend to come in to a room and look around and decide what to do or who to talk to, where women tend to come in and chat and flirt a little and need to talk a little first before doing too much. The differences are subtle but women do need to talk more, whether it’s bantering with girl friends at the real life water cooler or dancing in imvu or cuddling afterwards. (I love my kids but some days I just crave adult conversation.) There are also times that I only want to talk (or shop). Maybe it’s a function of the guys I know but they don’t usually want to just talk and they hate to shop.
Please understand though, that this is just overall generalities and does NOT prove anything at all on an individual basis. One of my best friends said she was visually oriented, and asked if that meant she was a guy and the answer is clearly no. But if you’re trying to attract guys in general being visually attractive certainly helps. And if you’re trying to attract girls, talking and communicating well (being attractive internally) definitely helps.
You can make anything sexy if you describe it graphically and vividly. The more detailed you make it, the more the reader can feel it. Say how you feel. Describe even little actions descriptively with lots of adjectives to make it fun.
Katy is the best and taught me this. She also taught me something else recently. The longer the description the more it means. That’s true in everything. If you write wb it’s nice but writing Welcome Back is stronger. Writing, “running across the room and jumping into your arms enthusiastically” means more than “Hugggs.” I guess that’s kind of obvious when you think about it, and I knew it, but it’s easy to get lazy when I’m just reading and typing away and trying to be effecient.
You can see this when you see someone really good at it. I watched Katy make Gabby a virtual drink one time and was just amazed at the vividness of it. I’m not a bar tender and honestly don’t know many drinks but it was awesome to watch. That’s also what I look for when I go to a room looking around and wondering who to approach. Even if I don’t talk much to them when that person leaves I’m going to request them, because you just know that person would be good to talk to. So be vivid and paint a picture everyone can feel. Share your heart and thoughts and describe every little detail at least sometimes. All we have here are words so be super descriptive and make it powerful and fun.
I’ve met a couple people lately that didn’t know how to whisper which is kind of basic but I thought I’d mention it. First of all you have to be a VIP or be whispering to a VIP. It’s not a huge deal but its one of the more valuable perks of being a VIP to me.
To whisper all you have to do I’d mouse over their name and a couple options appear, the i, add a friend (if their not already a friend) and the whisper button. Click that button and you’re whispering only to that person. Nobody else in the room will hear what you tell them. It’s Important to remember though, that even though other people can’t hear you, if you say things that trigger motions other people will see that. So you might want to put a period before or after the first word to prevent that on words like yes, no, what, when, or lol. Voice boxes will also work and only the person you are whispering to will hear it even if you’re moaning your butt off, lol.
Imvu tells you how to whisper somewhere I’m sure, but they don’t tell you when or when not to. You obviously have to whisper some things that are sensitive and you don’t want other people to hear. You may also want to whisper in a crowded room or at ceremonies or when you’re not supposed to talk. Whispering is also more intimate and a good way to get someone’s attention or flirt quietly. It’s also especially important if you are getting frisky. Even if the other couple in the room is too, it’s nice because it makes it easier to read. The exception is if you are an exhibitionist or want someone else in the room to hear. (I go out sometimes and pretend not to know Holly and she likes to watch me being sexy with someone. Hope that’s not TMI.)
Like anything, though, it’s also important not to over do whispering. Too much whispering kind of dampers the fun and openness of the room. And trying to coordinate between three people via whispering can be a pain. I’ve done three way whispering but is a lot of work copying and pasting everything.
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