Communication is important but knowing when to shut up can be just as important but can be even harder to do especially when you get excited and emotional. You don’t have to not respond. Just slow down and give yourself some time.
One great tip to do that as well as to get an extra opinion on it is to have a partner that you can bounce things off of when its important. Instead of responding to their messages, send it to your partner and talk to them before resending it. You’ll probably like their input and improve it.
The best rule is that if you’re upset never send more than three messages. If you can’t say it in three messages wait a day and rewrite it. Even if they’re just small messages more that three messages makes you look out of control and is guaranteed to only hurt you and isn’t going to get your point across.
Imvu is emotional and can be intense so you have to be careful. If you have to say something more send a gift because that shows you’re not attacking and changes the dynamic too. It has to be a loving caring gift that says you want to be a friend, and absolutely nothing with an attitude. It’s easy to just respond in kind to someone being nasty. It takes strength to stop fighting and resolve things. I’m not perfect at this for sure bug it’s important.
The last IMVU software update included one small thing that could turn into your favorite new feature. I always thought there should be a way to say something when you invite someone, kind of like an opening line. Now messages are your opening line!
No matter where someone is, in a public room, a private chat, shopping or making a room or in create mode, as long as they’re not in Do Not Disturb, they can now see your message instantly. So a message becomes both your opening line and a more polite way to invite someone.
I think the easiest way to make something sound exciting in a note is role playing or describing an erotic or romantic scene. Take a minute and just write a sentence or three painting a vivid picture that fits a sexy outfit and room you have.
You’ve been away for three weeks and I really miss you, so I’m making you a romantic candle lit dinner to welcome you home. I decided to have fun, cooking in just an apron to get into the mood and dancing around the kitchen. But you surprised me getting home almost an hour early and caught me with my pastries down, so to speak.
You bought me more than a few drinks and we seemed to hit it off so on a whim, you slipped me your room key when you were leaving, and smiled as I tucked it into my bra. You probably figured that was the last of me you’d see but thirty minutes later as you’re flipping through the cable channels hoping for something sexy you hear the door unlock and I stagger in, even mire drink than you, in the sexiest lingerie you swear you’ve ever seen…
Startled to see anyone in the woods at this time of night, you stop short as you enter the clearing and see a slender yet surprisingly curvy fairy dancing happily in the meadow. You hear a harp playing so beautifully somewhere beyond her as she twists and twirls like a gymnast to the music, oblivious to your approach….
You feel the steam hit you as you open the door even before you hear the shower running. You walk up quietly and peek around the corner seeing me in the shower, all soapy and singing and showering…
You can do anything but its fun to do something more than just Hi, how’re you doing? Wasup? Be creative and make it fun!!!
I learned something recently from Katy. She said a little while go that sometimes being a little off balance is a good thing. I don’t know whether to call it ripples or drama or what, but some times the emotional instability makes you realize what’s important to you. I recently had the worst day and the best day in a long time at the same time. That probably doesn’t make any sense and I always try to avoid drama as much as humanly possible. But this place can be very intense and it kind of runs on emotions or creates very strong emotions for some reason. They’re usually good, no great and I love that but things are also very unpredictable too.
At some point you’re going to step on someone’s toes or have someone else shake things, either accidentally or intentionally. It hurts and causes a shortage of tissues here sometimes but it also makes you realize what’s important to you and can ultimately make relationships stronger. Do NOT look for trouble or issues though or you will hurt things much more than you’ll help them. And I also personally avoid people that seem to intentionally cause drama. (you make up your own mind about that, I won’t tell you to avoid anyone) This place is enough of a soap opera anyone going out of their way to cause waves isn’t fun to be around. But it’s also the waves that teach you what counts and shows you who your friends are.
So if (or when) you do have issues try to look at their intentions not just how it looked from your point of view and look for the silver lining. Oh and for a bonus tip, answer drama with love. It’s always better than responding to the issue. Here’s a note I used other day in response to an angry message. I didn’t answer her anger because that would only make things escalate. In this case the hostility was intentional so this didn’t really solve it, but at least I felt like I wasn’t just responding but trying to solve it and doing the right thing. (I think it was 1023 characters)
A faint glow appears in the room as a fairy floats through the open window landing softly in front of the large sleeping figure. Leaning down and kissing you softly on the cheek as a chime dings somewhere in the distance. She smiles watching you sleep, your chest steadily rising and falling slowly. She closes her eyes and clasps her hands whispering silent prayers for the dark figure in front of her and the girl behind it. A tear slowly forms slipping down her cheek, before being brushed aside with a finger. It turns to sparkles in her hand which she sprinkles on the bed before she turns suddenly leaping silently across the room and sailing effortlessly back through the window floating into the night sky with a soft giggle. No amount of back and forth words can solve or fix some things. You were and are a wonderful person no matter what and that’s all that matters now. You wake feeling refreshed and content with the sweetest dreams still fading, the whole world seems somehow just a tiny be happier.
The number of gifts you’ve given plus the gifts you’ve received multiplied by the number of messages you’ve received in the past 24 hours minus the number of times you pulse about other people plus the number of names you have in your profile interests.
Girls also take whichever is greater, the number of shoes they have Or the number of songs, added to the 1/8 of the number of friends you have.
Guys take the number of girls on their friends and multiply that times the number of sex poses they have.
Oh and bonus point for pictures of friends on the walls on your room. What else am I missing? Oh and if you have a real life fiance and your name is Stephanie, you win!
While I was writing this story I could see in my mind the faces of many friends when they read it, and enjoyed it a bit feeling a little sneaky. A message with a wink and a smile should I say! I was curious about the reactions of those that I send this story, and whether there would be someone who would continued this story and would send it back. This didn’t happen, but the reactions I received have been very sweet and nice. I really laughed a lot with this story and especially because there were some who thought this story was actually really happening! Lol … I will not tell any names Kait, so don’t worry.
The point was just how much fun it was to and write a sweet, nice of sexy story. See what the reactions are of those that you send your story to. Maybe you get a sweet, cute or nice message back or maybe there is someone who continue the story where you have ended this. As a tip I would say, write your story first in something like word. This makes it easier to send everyone the same story. Have fun and good luck…xxx
Today was an exciting day for me. I have met some time ago, someone at IMVU and had agreed with her that she could come over for a few days and stay with me when she visiting Europe. Oh so exciting, our first real date! Today was that day dawned, very nervous and very tense where I waiting at the airport for her when her flight would land. I had already looked at the clock several times whether I would be on time and checked her flight data several times. On the TV screen at the airport I could see that her flight had landed exactly on time and my heart began to beat faster at the thought that we would meet today in real. I stood with a big sign with her name written on it and waited at the exit of arrival hall number 3! Many people came through the exit, but not the girl I was waiting for…I tried to call her but got no answer. Maybe she missed her flight? Quickly I checked my email…not any sign of her! Helplessly, I looked around!! Hopefully that I could find her between all the people. I looked so…..
frighten and helpless until a hand was laid on my shoulder and an arm wrapped around my middle. A soft, sultry voice whispered behind me…I LOVE YOU WENDY! My heart began to beat faster and hit my sorrow into joy…I turned myself around and my eyes began to shine. Oh we both had already waited so long and finally were there the day that she has arrived at the airport! Our first meeting…We looked at each other and started laughing, both nervous and a bit tense! Oh she was even much prettier than at the pictures she had sent me. There was also our first kiss, first volatile followed by a passionate loving kiss. Oh a tingling floats through my full body and I felt myself glowing from the tip of my head till my toes! We had almost forgotten where we were and thought even less of all the people around us. That moment, we have had only eyes for each other! Even if we have stood on a treadmill it was not even noticed us!! After a while she picked up her luggage and I took her hand…….
I wrote a sexy note to a friend and decided it was good and had to save and reuse it. I sent it to 3 or 4 friends that it seemed appropriate to send it to. One sexy friend who’s the best at notes continued where I left off and before we knew it we both making the sexiest story together. It’s always good to send notes. Don’t use my note, but hopefully you enjoy it and it inspires you.
Here’s my first note:
You hear soft footsteps behind you and a finger light trails on your shoulders and your neck like a poor silent glide your waste. You feel a shiver dance down your spine when I kiss your neck, and my breasts gently pressing it against your back. My pillow turn to snacks and move to the side of your neck as my second arm slides around you. My whole body is now pressed against your back and you think I have a naked or not wearing much in the heat of my skin. you try to make your head spin, but my lips feel your ear, and my warm breath in your ear. A hand slides up your chest and the other sides down your belly. a low animal sound as my tongue dances moaning in your ear and my fingers fine to trace your panty line, rubbing the side fabric gently. you close your eyes and one arm back confirming your suspicion as you squeeze my bare ass, reaching pulled me harder against you. My pussy grinds against you I like as I mouth hoarse words in your ear, I love you ….
Her first response:
Slowly I close my eyes and enjoy the moment with you behind me. With my hand on your bare ass I press you closer to me. I feel the warmth of your body through the soft fabric of my nighty. The hot breath from your mouth feels like a gentle breeze in my neck. You soft kisses on my neck betray my tickling spots! I try to turn my head slightly to give you more freedom in my neck. Even though I know that I can hardly handle this spot, but the enjoyment and feeling that my body is going through is indescribable. My whole body trembles at the touch of your kisses and tonque in my neck. My other arm goes behind your head while my fingers play with your beautiful long soft hair. I arch my back a bit and feel my knees buckling. Softly I whisper, while I hear the tremor in my voice that I love you. I hear your laugh between the kisses and feel how your hand slowly teasingly along the soft material of my undies slips. Suddenly your other hand moves down too and grabs my nighty at both sides…
Note from Kait: You might want to scroll down and click on the YouTube video below for Say What You Need to Say before you read this. I thought that was kind of the theme for this post about writing notes by my best friend Wendy. Wendy is the perfect person to write about writing notes and she’s also in a great new love which is so beautiful to watch atm too. She and Wendy, both write the most amazing, sweetest, most endearing notes I’ve ever seen in here. It’s even more impressive when you realize English is a second language for her.
In IMVU, it’s often easy to love, but to really fall in love the person behind the avi and feel their heart and soul with yours takes some effort and a lot of communication. That type of true Love is absolutely wonderful and it gives you the most amazing walking on air, invincible feeling. Every time you get a message or even just re-read one, you get a very special feeling. A feeling of jitters or butterflies in your stomach, that brings back day dreams of the person of your dreams. This feeling is wonderful but it takes some effort and with busy lives and time differences we can’t always be on at the same time. That’s why it’s so important to keep in touch with messages and keep reminding the other person why he / she is so special to you.
Let the words flow from your heart and write the messages as personal as possible. If you’re newly in love, that may be difficult because you know little about each other. Personalize them with that little bit that you do know, and share your heart. Sometimes write deep things, and other times write short little notes or stories. Mix in some funny humorous comments here and there too. Sharing emotions is important and laughter is a great emotion too and can lighten it and keep it fun. Even if you’ve never done it before, try writing out a descriptive role play type message about sneaking up and hugging them or waking them up in the morning. IMVU is nice because you can include a gift as a prop. IMVU messages are limited to 1000 characters so if you write him / her a longer love letter, you may be able to send emails, if you’ve shared email addresses.
Another note from Kait: She wrote a very good example of what you could say, but I thought this might be a good place to surprise her and show off a little at the same time. So I’m including the actual poem she wrote for me, because I really love it and her so much.
You are like magic, but way cooler
Like a teddy bear, but softer
Like an orgasm, but more intense
I don’t think you are human,
You are an angel with no wings,
You create so many things,
You turn my world around,
You make me fall on the ground,
But i don’t care cause i know its you.
A look in your eyes
Is worth me more than anything in the world to
I respect you,
You are there for me,
And I will always be there for you.
And that is the best feeling in the world.
I am so addicted to this feeling
I go to sleep with it,
And wake up with it,
It’s in my heart,
It’s in my mind.
I love you Kait, kisses xxx Wendy
Two tips about messages, well other than to send loving ones and to send them often. I don’t delete my messages because I’m lazy but also because if anything happens sometimes I find I have to find things or old gifts. It’s nice to have them available in a kind of time line, that you can look back through and see friends you might have lost track of. But there are two problems with messages in IMVU. They don’t have a date, and you can’t search them. Sometimes it’s important to know the date a message was sent or find all of the messages about a topic which you just can’t do at all in IMVU.
The second tip, I got from Katy and wish I learned a long time ago, is that you can get your messages via email. I was paranoid when I signed up so of course I said no emails for anything. And I didn’t even realize that getting my messages sent via email was an option. Even if you don’t want to see them or let them into your regular email, you can send them to a yahoo email address to create an automatic imvu message archive with a safe, secure third party. That solves the time and date issue, and makes them much more searchable. It doesn’t let you look through them and see who’s online the way IMVU does so I’ll still keep them there too.
If you think you might stay here for a while get a yahoo email address and send a copy of your messages there just in case you need them. It’s also a great way to protect yourself in case IMVU goes ballistic on you or your account gets hacked. If you had to start over you wouldn’t lose your messages and therefore could reinvite most of your friends.
Here is the link for your imvu email preferences
Another good resource is this form that Lets you send a message to anyone that hasn’t blocked you, even if they only accept messages from friends.
I just wanted to share a great note I just got. It was from Quidlyn and it’s great because it paints such a vivid picture in your mind and gives such a warm loving feeling. Its a great example of how the right note makes a gift incredibly special.
…a rainbowed butterfly comes floating by, carrying a note dropped to your hand. the parchment thick, wax seal affixed, bearing the letter K, the script of some dream land. You carefully remove the seal, unfolding the square letter, revealing a sprinkling of gold stars inside. A sudden wind gust lifts the confetti into the air, swirling you within a cloud of sparkles. In careful calligraphic script, the note reads… Instructions: 1) Throw arms around self, squeezing tight. 2) Close eyes. 3) Imagine my arms holding you tight. Thank you so much for your lovely gift. Please find pinki to keep you company when I cannot be around.
When you this much creativity and effort into it, it makes the gift so much more special and makes them feel good and feel good about you.
We all have things come up that prevent us from being able to be here from time to time. Your real life always has to be first. When you’re away for an extended period of time though, remember it’s not that you’re not here that hurts you relationships, it’s the lack of communication. It doesn’t even have to be a lot of communication either. The hardest thing to take in a virtual relationship, is an extended period of dead silence.
Fortunately with smart cell phones today you can almost always have some contact. It doesn’t usually take much either. You’ll also probably be surprised at how patient and understanding they can be if you ask them. They want to share the challenges with you and they have issues too, we all do. But doubt will creep into even the strongest relationship if you don’t communicate at all. Send an email, text message, Yahoo msgr, or a message in IMVU. Whatever you do, don’t leave someone you care about hanging.
This also relates to and brings up a previous post and point about making an emergency contact system. If you are in a car accident or something that prevents you from even getting an email out give you closest friend an email address or phone number of someone in real life to call to see if anything has happened to you after a certain amount of time. You don’t want them to be calling the hospitals in your area afraid something horrible has happened.
IMVU allows you to see when your friends are online, but if someone un-friends you, you have no way to keep track of them. So saving your old messages can be extremely valuable, as a way to get back in touch with past friends. You can see their new name if they change names and even see if they’re online.
It’s also often easier reconnect with past friends than start from scratch with new friends. Take it a step further, and backup your friends, by making screen shots of them once in a while so even if they get deleted or lost, you have a way to find past friends. You never know when you might want to look through past friends to see who’s online so you can reach out to them.
Send a personal message to each person you add to your friends list and say hello to someone on your list you haven’t talked to in a while every day. We all end up with a lot of acquaintances on our list. And if you’re looking to build a relationship with someone, start there, because it’s much easier to build a relationship with someone that’s already shown they were interested and willing to be your friend. You’d be surprised how just being a friend to someone, is the best way to build more, too. The best way to have friends is to be a friend. And you do that by communicating.