Wow, super excited and nervous and anxious all at the same time. I’m worried about the size of the room and how many people can fit. So it’ll be important to have the link for JOINME readily available. If the link’s here it’s available. I’ll take it down when it’s not active any more.
Wow it was so wonderful!! Going to bed so happily married!!!
Being married irl means I’m just here for fun to some degree. I guess everyone is but more specifically it means I can’t cross into real life. Anything irl to me becomes cheating and could definitely mess up my real life and my ability to come in here all together.
I have to put RL first more than my single friends. They have to put it first too but it’s more mandatory if you’re married not to mention have kids. The most likely reason for me to have to leave here is probably if my husband has a problem with it. So I obviously have to be more sensitive in that area.
I have seen several married people have problems or at least issues. I don’t feel like that really takes away too much from my experiences here though. In some ways being careful frees me up and lets me have more fun. Being married also makes me nervous sometimes about being too serious or close emotionally to guys. Maybe I compensate with girls who are better at the soft emotional side. Guys often seem to only want sex which I understand. It’s when it goes to much past that, I start to get nervous.
I love sex but really love the intimacy most and don’t actually even need sex for that. Sometimes single people think married people don’t get lonely. They can be even more lonely. I honestly have fewer options than single people and they are all pretty negative. So maybe being married I’m more dependent on this. One other side note I realized recently is that I can’t just change my name and hide if someone was hassling me because of the website.
If you’re married in real life, you’re probably going to behave a little differently in here but I wanted to focus on what you may have to do differently in real life. This isn’t something I’ve read but kind of what I figured out by trial and error, mostly my errors and hind sight. This is so not something you’ll find in an imvu forum or site but it’s kind of what I’m trying to do with this site.
First and foremost above everything else, be sensitive to your partners needs, even before they complain or say something. It’s not whether something is technically right or wrong but how your partner feels about it that counts. The tricky part is that it’s not just what they say that counts but how they feel. They are going to be concerned and you have to proactively counteract that which leads to the second thing.
Be extra loving and attentive so they can’t complain or even see a positive change in your attitude. If it makes you happy and you share that, it can go a long ways towards being able to stay. I realize this eats up a lot of my brownie points sometimes, so I go out of my way to do everywhere else I can to get them to make up for it.
Have some ammunition ready, something they do that you don’t like that you let slide. I wouldn’t stop him from anything, but if you can use that as an excuse to also do what you want to, it’s not a bad thing. I also admit I’ve gotten good at doing some things that he thinks take me a lot longer than they do. The plus side is that he thinks I work harder than I do sometimes, which doesn’t hurt.
I don’t hide this because I’m ashamed but I do try to minimize its visibility. I never check my messages when I’m with him and I put all the pictures in password protected folders. I also don’t let the software remember my imvu passwords. Just pick something easy to type. When he questions you, don’t hide it and just say how much you appreciate that he loves you enough to let you enjoy my game. Using the word Game helps cause that doesn’t sound like a threat and puts it terms he can understand.
We all have to make concessions and give each other enough space to have friends and have fun. And if you do it gradually and stay happy and loving to him or her, you’ll be surprised how much they can put up with. But whatever you do, be safe and smart about it, no matter how swept up you feel.