My son had a book to read yesterday (How Full is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer, video below), that was so neat I kind of wanted to just retype the whole thing for the site. It’s not about IMVU of course but it definitely applies a lot. I guess a lot of life principles apply here. It’s just easier to see things in here sometimes.
The point of the book was that we all have a bucket that we use for our good feelings. And we are either filling each others buckets or we are emptying their bucket. We can’t fill our own buckets but we can fill other people’s buckets. If we always fill the buckets of the people around us, we will get our own bucket filled in the process. And taking something out of someone else’s bucket does NOT add it to ours.
It was cute but it made me think of here for some reason. When we start here we think its just a fun sexy game or something. But along the way as we start to connect with our avi and connect with friends we learn to let our walls down and our heart out and it almost takes on a life of its own. And the principle we kind of know for life seem to work even more clearly in this clutter free virtual world.
So even though you can do or be anything you want in imvu, you’ll probably find that being a better version of yourself is much more rewarding . I don’t mean better in terms of morals but I mean better in how you treat others. Karma definitely applies here and in the end whatever you give out is what you’ll get back.
Love everyone with all your heart. Don’t play games, just fill buckets and you’ll soon find that your own bucket is more than overflowing. One of the neat things I think I’ve learned here is to just pour out love and share easily. Sure, pixels are initially attractive, but what really makes you attractive in IMVU his your heart. As long as you keep filling buckets and sharing with the people around you will be loved and have the time of your life in imvu!
Lyn is our family name and means a lot to me. It stands for Love Your Neighbor. Taylor came up with that and I love it. It definitely fits. It’s not just physically it’s really more emotionally and about reaching out in and uplifting way.
The best way to say it is putting the others first, not just in theory but every day. If you really do that, you wind up with several people putting you first. You may not even realize how many people care until you run into trouble and suddenly you have so many people trying to help you and lift you back up!
It also requires openness and honesty. This requires some balance. You can be too blunt and too open sometimes. Though it is usually better to err on the side of openness and honesty. You can whisper and PC but keep it to a minimum. Excluding someone is very bad. Again balance is necessary.
I guess the last thing I’d add is that like marriage being part of group like this means making the group my priority. We all juggle and deal with things and its important to know that solid people that you can count on love you and have your back. These are the things that Lyn means to me! And each of the people individually mean way more than I can begin to say.
I don’t talk about religion in here because imvu isn’t about religion. It’s extremely diverse but if you don’t mind I’d like to paraphrase a famous verse of the bible that applies here. It’s 1st Corinthians chapter 13 verses 1 to 3, basically says no matter how beautifully I speak, no matter how amazing my actions are, no matter how generous I am, I am nothing without LOVE.
A lot of the principles that are true in life are even more true in here and easier to see without all the little distractions. This one especially. One of the most impressive people I’ve ever met in here and closest friends was making this point last night. And at the time I kind of felt it ultimately took more than ‘just’ love. That’s why when I thought of the bible verse it seemed to fit better.
When you have issues it takes some effort, it takes some communication, it takes some time, some patience, and some faith. But the main ingredient that has to be in everything is LOVE. Without Love your effort is wasted, communication is just noise and time blown.
So yes love is the answer to everything. But more so, its the magic ingredient! It’s the catalyst that makes everything work. For example I give a lot if gifts but its not just gifts that count its the thought, the love that it shows. When imvu gives something it doesn’t come with love. It’s just a gift. I can’t even tell you how many rooms and sets of furniture I’ve never even seen. That’s also why giving someone something not on their gift list sometimes shows more caring and love!
Yes, I’ve said this in a lot of different ways in posts in here. Whether its The greatest thing in IMVU is LOVE, love the person behind the keyboard, Hold them with love, Real IMVVU Love, 57 ways to show Love, and so many more posts about love. That’s because Love is the secret ingredient not just in Imvu, but in life. Not just according to me but according to the bible.
One last note: Taylor without my LOVE, I am nothing…
~clinking her class softly, quietly, waiting for the room to quiet~
If I could have your attention for just a tiny second, I would like to propose a toast…
First to my lovely and incomparable wife Susan, for such a beautiful ceremony, bringing in such universal truths about life and love, staying out of the way to let the brides’ loves shine, bridging all of humanity in, while still making every thought and feeling so deeply personal.
Second to everyone here, friends and family. You all mean more to me than I can say. It feels amazing to be part of such a community bonded by our shared love for each other and for the happy couple.
But really, I am here to cherish the love of the two brides. To be honest, I was more thrilled and honored to be a bridesmaid for Kait and Tay than I was for my college friend’s rl wedding last week. They are my true friends, my best friends real or virtual, and true sisters.
Kaitlyn who I have known longer than anyone else except my lovely wife. With whom I shared an instant bond, a commonality of spirit and outlook, a connection that twins share. And a kindness and generosity and empathy I have never seen equalled here on anywhere.
And Taylor, one of the newest members of my family. Taylor who in just a few short weeks, executed her diabolical plans to worm her way into my heart. Taylor who taught me renewed appreciation for my family, taught me about my own weaknesses and pettiness, and met all my crazy with love.
She has taught me so much. She has taught my whole family so much. About love and openness and caring. She brings light to every room she enters.
Their vows show really what real love (not the day to day imvu love) is all about. That love is fun, but real love is deep. Like Ben Affleck said, Love is Work, love is putting others first. Love is being open and sharing. Not just when its easy but when its hard, when it may hurt, and knowing your bond is strong enough to know all of you. That is something my loves have taught me, and something you both exemplify.
So I raise a glass… and maybe you’ll raise yours too. To the most amazing couple, that I have been so blessed to know and welcome into my heart, and home. To Taylor and Kait!
You’re never more than a click or two away from another room or other friends in here. So the only way to hold onto anyone here is to love them more than anyone else. You can get promises and even chains and cages (which can be kind of fun, by the way) but the freedom and ease of meeting people in here makes it impossible to hold onto anyone that doesn’t want to be held. So the trick is to make them WANT to be held.
So the question becomes what would make them want to stay. In real life stay together because they don’t have many choices, because of kids, because of the expense of leaving or breaking up, because of the stigma of divorce, or because of their physical needs. Obviously none of these things are true in here. So how do you hold onto people who are constantly seeing supermodels wanting to spend time with them?
I think there’s only one thing strong enough to hold, really hold someone here and that’s LOVE! Emotions in here can be very intense (VERY intense) and none is stronger than Love. The only way you can keep anyone in here is to love them with all your heart and in every way. I’ve written posts about how to make someone feel loved and I’m sure you can figure out a few things of your own too.
I got the most wonderful message today. Ok, it was four messages actually but it described very honestly and beautifully the pure IMVU Love that I had to share it. It wasn’t just about me, but I took the other names out. I hope more than anything that you get to experience this IMVU LOVE on this level too.
In some ways, Imvu lets me be more real than real life! In my real I have walls up on your emotions. I could never tell most (any?) of my real friends, how I really do love them. In imvu is no problem!! lol I love that about it. I love that I can even write this message. That I can love you so much in my heart of hearts and I can tell you that I do and it feels soooo good!!! I can let you know all my inner feelings and stuff so easily where would be next to impossible in real.
This is such a magical place with so many good people (YOU) and I can really be so loving. In my real life I always look forward to going here and seeing you and my friends here. Where I can be a fairy or anything, and share honestly with you, and not have to worry if someone will think you are weird or crazy or whatever. lol I have never been able to be so……..emotionally involved or maybe so open or maybe so loved or maybe so human??????
Whatever it is, I never want it to stop. I never want to stop loving you! Ever!! Another thing about here is that I love you yes, I need you, and I love making love with you more than anything!! There is NO jealousy, or any of that stuff that goes with a relationship in real. I just want you to be happy in whatever you do and that makes me happy too. It is such an awesome feeling, – to love with all my heart but without all the bad stuff. Like PURE love!! lol – I love you and all my imvu friends!
I know and can feel your love for me and it just makes me so happy that you do and if you have these feelings for others that is wonderful too. It’s wonderful for them that they have someone as nice as you to love them too!!! I am happy for them and you!! I do not think this could happen in real like this. :) I hope I am not talking too much again! but I think you know what I am feeling, I think if anyone does it’s you! and I love you for that too!! LOLOLOL!!! or maybe….. I have finally crossed the REALLY crazy threshold in here! Oh well back to vacuuming but smiling with YOU!
Don’t just pretend to love people in here, really love them. Love them full, love them with all your heart. Don’t hold anything back, love in a forgiving, patient, and nurturing way. Love in a respectful humble gentle way. Love them through the tears. Even though you will fall sometimes, love with no limits or strings. Love the person behind the keys. Love the spirit you can see and feel in here.
Real life gets complicated and it’s hard to talk about some things and share true love very often. But one of the most amazing things in IMVU is how you can open up and share so much. Be bold, be passionate, Love like an ocean and pour out your love. Be a light in your circle and shares such an overwhelming LOVE that nothing else matters. This isn’t just a place for fun and it’s more than a game. It’s a way to connect and share. Share something great.
Some people think IMVU is about sex, but they’re only seeing part of it. Sex is part of Love. It often makes you feel loving, and certainly makes you feel more in love than even the best non interactive porn does. Love is more than just Sex though, it requires intimacy, openness, and an emotional connection. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad but I know that this is the tip of the iceberg. Manti Teos showed that the main stream society doesn’t get this but that’s partially because the people that do it generally have to be quiet about it. They scoff at a virtual relationship being real love, but it is. Everyone doesn’t get there, but LOVE truly is the secret of IMVU.
I wear my heart on my sleeve in more ways than one and share a lot on here but I haven’t talked a lot directly about my personal situation lately. But I so need to say I LOVE YOU with all my heart to the two most amazing people. I’ve never been so happy not just in here but in my life.
I’ve been truly blessed beyond anything I deserve. I’m so head over heels in LOVE that the whole world seems brighter sunnier and every day feels like Christmas!! I’ve had the most amazing life here and met a lot of totally wonderful people here but I have the biggest honor imaginable to be the loving partner of Suzilyn and Quidlyn (aka Susan and Katy).
I’ve had a lot amazing relationships in the two years I’ve been in here. But all of them added together don’t even touch the intensity of love that I have now. It’s more than just a heartfelt connection, and almost feels like a soul connection, like it uses the same spiritual circuitry in my head or my heart that my connection with God does. I’m sure that sounds crazy even to most people who get this place. But this kind I’m makes me feel like we are designed to be connected more than we ever realized.
No matter how you look at it, I have never been so head over heels in love or happier! I love the magical feeling, the giddy, tingling inside, the control and the effect they have over me. And I wish this crazy love for everyone. It takes some time, some effort and growth inside, tearing down walls and opening your heart and your soul. It’s scary in some ways and tricky and painful sometimes. But there’s no way to describe the value of this other than PRICELESS!! I don’t say this lightly or flippantly but with all my heart and soul. It’s the most magical feeling in the world and what IMVU is all about.
I recently made this video for Susan that I wanted to share. I have to do one for Katy next
I learned something recently that I really need to remember and use myself. So this one is as much to reinforce and remind myself of this as anything. When a friend was upset at someone that she thought had wronged her she joked about wanting to give the other person a piece of coal. But instead she sent a white rose.
I don’t know what she wrote, but it was something about purity of heart and it didn’t totally end the issue but it didn’t make it worse. And it did raise her up a lot in my eyes. It might feel good to zing someone back but the more you want to retaliate the more important it is to respond in love.
So the next time I get angry I’m going to follow her example and send a white rose. Hopefully even if you read this and know what it means, you’ll still appreciate it and know that I love you in spite of whatever issue we might have.
It’s a gray and rainy Friday afternoon and I’m standing in line at the bank writing mushy love poems. I’m a 46 year old boring housewife and happily married mother of three, and so totally head over heels in love I feel like a giddy school girl who can’t think straight. If that doesn’t show the power of IMVU and amazing fun you can have here that you can’t do anywhere else, nothing does.
It kind of reminded me of the Priceless Mastercard Commercials.
|An IMVU avatar with AP and VIP||$120|
|Thousands of virtual shoes, boobs, and tops etc.||$400|
|Cases of Energy Drink to stay awake all night||$74|
|Some Rum, just because it’s fun||$200|
|Hours of dancing, laughter, crying, and moaning||Priceless!|
|Absolutely Amazing Friends all over the world||Priceless!!|
|The once in a lifetime type of hopelessly in love feeling||Priceless!!!|
I’ve never used this site this way but one of my most special friends is going through a terrible situation and needs your prayers. I don’t like to share anyone else’s information, especially about their real life situation. But please pray for HollyKarenPeachHeart. If you know her just let her know you care. If you don’t just say a prayer for her or leave a comment of support. She lost someone very close to her in real life in a very difficult way. I’m writing this even in the middle of my vacation at Disney world, because she is important to me and I wish so much that I could do more. I will be praying very hard for her and know that your prayers will count and help too.
It’s also on YouTube if this link doesn’t work or you prefer to watch things there:
What happens when the Princess of Happiness meets the Princess of Sweet? You get Hershey Kusjes, lol… I’m on my way to a real life wedding in a few minutes and then I’ll be away for 10 days driving my kids to meet Isaac in Disneyworld. So I won’t be around much for a little bit but I had to share this with the world. IMVU is amazing at sharing emotions, and I’ve had the unbelievable honor of sharing the love and emotions of two of my very best friends, from the first falling in love all the way through real life things and last night a proposal.
I hope this isn’t spoiling the fun of announcing it. But I have to run and don’t know what my internet situation or time will be like for a while and I have to share this. I may be able to make a video later when I have some more time. Words alone can’t say how amazing their love is, how much I love them both or how happy I am. Ik hou zoveel van jou Wendy and Stephanie. They are truly the very best of IMVU.
To the person giving me a hard time for giving them things, I put my finger to your lips Shhhhhh…. I don’t give you something to buy anything or expect anything. I give things for the feeling it gives you and the feeling it gives me. So smile and be happy and let me enjoy that feeling. I don’t do it to buy your love but to express mine.
The purpose of credits is to make people feel good. Look at it as buying you a drink. It’s just to make you feel good and let you know that I appreciate you. So smile and know that you are loved.
How much real quality communication do you get in your real life? I don’t want to say anything negative about anyone in my real life because I really am very happily married, coming up on 10 years in July. But I think it’s safe to say that I get more quality communication time with my best friends in here than most people do with the people they’re closest to in their “real life.”
I’ve been saying that I’m closer to my very best friend Gabby than anyone in imvu or real life for a little while, and a part of me felt kind of guilty saying that or like I must have a pretty pathetic life. And I do admit its kind if boring or quiet in some ways it’s not because my real life is bad. It’s because of the amount of quality time and heart felt emotion that we’ve shared. I am around people but often don’t share as much from the heart in real life. Sometimes it seems like that’s all we do in here.
It’s also hard to explain the level of love and intimacy I share with my best friends in here. It can be amazingly intimate just dancing or cuddling with friends. It’s not about poses or sexy looks, although clothes can certainly be fun to play with. It’s about the unbelievable connection, loving each other so thoroughly in the most amazing heart felt way.
I don’t mean to generalize too much but the people that don’t tend to get this tend to be guys. And if they like sex best, they don’t tend to get how important “talking with my friends” is for me, or how that can be as intimate as great sex in here.
So to all the guys that I have to decline cause I’m dancing with friends I’m sorry. I could invite you in some time, but I have to warn you that it takes some time to get that open and appreciate the closeness and intimacy.
I’ve said before not to ask for pics or webcam when you first meet someone, but even more than that, don’t assume because you are intimate that she wants to be intimate with you constantly because she did one time. Don’t assume because she played your love slave she wants to be your love slave permanently. And don’t ask her to be your girlfriend after one conversation or encounter.
It would be rude to say after being intimate with someone that they weren’t that great or that they weren’t anything special. It’s also equally wrong for a guy to immediately assume they are the best she’s ever had too or that she wants to do more than what you just did. If you want more you have to MAKE her want more. Send notes and or gifts and make her want to please you, share some of your heart but not all of it, and make it fun with sexy creative rooms, and make her laugh.
Don’t ask her to be your slave, make her want to be your IMVU slave. Everything here is voluntary and they can disappear and block you with a click. The only thing you have to keep even someone you’re married or committed to in here is your love and making them want to stay. Don’t ever stop making them want to stay or the whirlwind of IMVU will start pulling them away.
Valentines Day and any holiday really, is a good excuse to say hello to friends on IMVU that you don’t get to talk to as much. Start with a simple message mentioning that you haven’t talked in a while and go through your list. Adjust the message slightly if possible.
Sending big long flowing messages that tell them to send it to all their friends are only marginally helpful. A small more relevant message you wrote specifically for them or that looks like you wrote for them, can mean more.
You don’t have to send everyone an IMVU Gift. But you should send some special friends something. It’s not that they need things. But it adds importance and weight to your message. You can just send a 200 credit card if you don’t have many credits. (where else can you get a card for the equivalent of about 10 cents)
It’s not the amount that matters but the relevance and thought behind it that people do appreciate. Remember you’re dealing with people and the emotions here are real, even if the place is virtual. So use Valentine’s day as an excuse to spread some love, and to say hello to people you haven’t had a chance to talk to recently. Enjoy it and have a very Happy Valentine’s Day sharing that love and spirit with your friends.
Just like the way a blind persons other senses become even more sensitive to make up for it, in IMVU you can’t see the physical and there is no little things to get in the way, so you get better at sensing the non physical. I call this IMVU vision. It’s almost impossible for someone who hasn’t been here for a while and experienced it to understand I know.
You can’t see with your eyes so you have to learn to feel with your heart. I think that’s why we sometimes feel such a powerful deep connection and I even say this place proves there is a soul. These pretty pixels and words can get pretty powerful, to the point that I feel closer to friends in here than I do in real life.
I say than “friends” in real life because I kind if feel like the friendships are more real in a sense than the love, in here. Don’t get me wrong I do love the love too, which sounds funny to say. But it’s loving friends in here that is my favorite part. I’d say the best thing I’ve learned in here is to love with all my heart. And I honestly couldn’t put just one person’s pictures up for this one so I picked a couple (not all!) of the IMVU girls who I feel so strongly connected right into my heart. You’ll find your own people and understand when it happens to you.
This is a post I want other people to help add to. Leave a comment here or send me a message in IMVU (my screen name in IMVU is Kaitlyn if you don’t know me.) I will edit the list and add your suggestions.
- Notes, especially ones with good letters or a mushy saying or story
- Gifts (must have romantic special notes)
- More notes, poems, compliments, and heart felt love
- Telling them you love them in front of other people and mutual friends
- Putting a picture of you both on your profile
- Introducing them to your friends (as your GF or VBF or something sappy)
- Going out of your way to spend time together
- Be interested in their activities and the things they like
- Make (develop) a picture of them or both of you for the wall in your room
- Go shopping and get them things that show you know and care about them
- Buy a shirt or necklace with their name on it or that says I love you and wear it with them.
- Get a heart effect for after you have sex with them.
- Invite them to fun different rooms, not just your default room.
- Make them laugh.
- Share sad times and be there for them when they need it.
- Do real life things like eating a meal or watching a movie with them.
- Pay attention to their fav songs and fav type of music and make a mix with their name.
- If they are a developer send several people one of their newest items and ask them to leave you a good review. This makes the developer love you (you probably have to tell them though) and it also impresses the people you give the items too.
- Write a prayer for them.
- Take lots of pictures of them and make a photo album of just you and them.
- Get a head sign that says I LOVE YOU and just put it on when they’re around.
- Randomly just say you sneak over and kiss, caress, tease or spank them (in other words, little comments)
- Get excited when they enter a room.
- Send flowers or one gift every morning.
- Have a custom voice box made with their name so you can call them by name or say I Love You Holly.
- Go over board for birthday or any special event for them
- Listen, really listen to them
- Go to whatever room they are in.
- But give them space
- Dress a like (sometimes)
- Adjust your look to things they like
- Always be supportive and put their needs first
- If someone gives you a gift let them see you using it.
- Treat something they gave you as extra special and keep it with you.
- Spend time with them even when you’re busy.
- Share your fantasies
- Figure out their fantasies and make them happen
- Find their hot buttons and push them often
- Plan dates together
- Find fun rooms to share and explore with them
- Accept them for who they are
- We all have sore spots and weaknesses, understand and be careful of theirs
- Accept their boundaries but know when to push them a little too.
- Care about their needs more than your own
- Never ever be jealous
- Defend them
- Edify them and put them on a pedastle
- Be open and sharing
- Be vulnerable
- Cuddle often.
- Include their fav positions, or imvu dances in any room you make.
- Find excuses to touch them.
- Get a tattoo with their name on it or just that says taken.
- Teach them how to do something
- Take a virtual class about something you are both interested in.
- If they have a job in here whether it’s as a dancer or developer, help them do it or do it with them.
- Play a virtual game with them
A great friend had an experience that brought up a good point. She met someone who she liked but was saying she’s totally in love with her way to fast and it makes her worry. It’s good to wear your heart on your sleeve but just like the real world, don’t say you love someone the first time you meet them. This place is built on pure emotion and I’ve said it is Miracle Grow for relationships, but it also proves again that taking your time can definitely make things last longer and be stronger. So don’t rush. The falling in love, new love, early stages are so much fun. Enjoy that and keep it light. That’s Ally’s and my short tip for today.
Isn’t new love the best? It makes the whole world seem wonderful and you sunny. I wanted to share a few pics of my wonderful love, Tammy. It’s only a couple days I know but I feel so awesome I just had to share. You know how that goes when you just can’t think of anything else. I love you Tammy.
I recently met an amazing new friend and learned something or was reminded of something, very important. The most attractive quality anyone can have in IMVU or real life isn’t a certain look or even something with pixels. The most attractive characteristic someone can have is love.
In some ways it’s tricky because you don’t want to scare them or make them think you’re a stalker by coming on too strong. The right amount of love might also vary from person to person. But we’re all ultimately looking for love and can’t help but be attracted to a person that gives it to them.
I actually wasn’t even looking for love at all, at least not from anyone new. I have a lot of great friends here already. I have a wife, a family, some tremendous friends, an Alien Mistress, a couple cuddle buddies, and a whole slew of friends. Yet I have to tell you, the depth of Tammy’s love and passion bowled me over and makes my head spin. So wear your heart on your sleeve in here and share it as freely and purely as possible. The more you give it away, the more it’ll come back to you.
It’s no shock that men and women are different. But alot of people may not realize the differences in how they cyber. These are only generalizations so they don’t apply on an individual basis. The simplest way to explain it is that guys have sex and girls make love. Again that’s probably not a news flash.
Guys like poses and voiceboxes because they are more visual oriented and need to see and hear it. They also tend to want real life pictures much more thsn girls which I admit i dont get at all being married irl. Girls on the other hand can stay in the same kissing pose and do it all with words. I think this is why girls love romance novels and guys like porn. I think this bcause whats sexy to guys is the physical and whats sexy for a girl, especially on here is the partners mind. Girls can also talk more about their heart and love where guys talk about… well they just don’t talk as much cause they’re typing with one hand.
Love also takes longer and takes more than just a sex room. And can’t they put more cuddle and kissing spots?! Its funny though because both sides have their pluses. A heartfelt love is way beyond even good or great sex, but by 2 or 3am sometimes I just want sex too. But back to the topic, the reason you want to know and understand the differences is that it will make you a better lover and help you get what you really want too.
We’re still real people and nobody is as perfect as they project in here. It’s easy to forget that sometimes. Our mind fills in the gaps with beauty, especially when we’re in love! We get caught up and see what we want to see and refuse to see things that don’t fit the image we’ve created. It’s not your fault, we all do it.
I think it’s part of nature and our drive. It helps us fall in love and get married. Reality usually sets in after a while. That’s when we say “the honeymoon is over.” I’m not saying to rush through that fantasy, love stage. Enjoy it! Just don’t make crazy decisions in that stage. You’re not perfect and ultimately neither is the other person.
That was an important question for me, being married and very worried about affecting my real life relationships and family. I have to admit that it does a little. But what surprised me, was how positive that can be. It does occasionally hurt it a little when my virtual relations are struggling. But at least for me, the ups were much more pronounced than the downs. And they never really competed or seemed as mutually exclusive as I was afraid it might.
I often refer to the Las Vegas rules, meaning what happens here stays here, but there is an exception, and that’s the warm loving feeling you get from the the love you can’t help but feel here. My Love asked me recently if I thought about her when I was with my RL spouse. I said that I didn’t really picture her, but I did feel her and her love, not only with my RL spouse, but in every relationship I have in RL or IMVU. You can’t help but spill that amazing loving feeling you get into everything in your life. I try to hide the tears, and share the love.