The world of IMVU is very powerful and in my case I’m happily married with a family, and if it crossed over it would definitely hurt my real life world. Not to mention that it suddenly becomes cheating. Even just having a conversation and talking about it can make me feel like I want to and suddenly it turns from fun and games into poison. This is an amazing place. But crossing the streams would be bad…
Try to imagine all life as we know it, stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light! Total Protonic reversal. Okay, that’s bad. Important safety tip… Don’t cross the streams.
Holly, I love you soo much and probably would break any rule for you no matter what. That’s why it scared me so much, and why it’s so hard to go there. I may not have a great life but I probably shouldn’t mess it up. I know you can relate and really had no intention to hurt anything, but it also made me think that if push came to shove, I could make the wrong choice, because I really do love you.
That was an important question for me, being married and very worried about affecting my real life relationships and family. I have to admit that it does a little. But what surprised me, was how positive that can be. It does occasionally hurt it a little when my virtual relations are struggling. But at least for me, the ups were much more pronounced than the downs. And they never really competed or seemed as mutually exclusive as I was afraid it might.
I often refer to the Las Vegas rules, meaning what happens here stays here, but there is an exception, and that’s the warm loving feeling you get from the the love you can’t help but feel here. My Love asked me recently if I thought about her when I was with my RL spouse. I said that I didn’t really picture her, but I did feel her and her love, not only with my RL spouse, but in every relationship I have in RL or IMVU. You can’t help but spill that amazing loving feeling you get into everything in your life. I try to hide the tears, and share the love.
It’s easy to meet people and start new relationships in IMVU, but it’s also easy to lose them too. This place is FULL of distractions, and people just looking to cause trouble (called drama to make it sound acceptable). It’s kind of like trying to get your kids to study while they’re out of school, at Disney World. It’s also hard to impose real life rules on a world that’s not real, just like you can’t expect to behave like you do on vacation or even on vacation in Las Vegas that you do in your real life at home. IMVU is even further away and less real in a sense than a RL vacation. So take anything people say and everyone’s behavior with a grain of salt.
Don’t ask too many questions about real life. Protect your personal information and yourself and respect other people’s privacy. Their work for example, is kind of like politics and religion. It’s OK to ask general questions about their situation or status (married or single in virtual or real life) but don’t get into too many other areas unless they invite you.
Don’t share your whole life story with someone or ask to chat on a webcam or phone the first time you talk to someone. It makes you seem superficial and pushy. Build up a relationship with someone first and you’ll both be ready to take it to the next level or have more reason too. Just because you think she looks good on the computer isn’t enough reason to ask for a real life show. It’s very easy for someone to click away and block you when they just meet you.
Intensity can also be great and exciting but it’s also a little scary. You can’t rush to intensity quickly or it can very easily scare your partner. So sometimes just like in real life, you have to reveal things over time. Enjoy the journey and don’t rush through that new relationship stage. This is especially true for people who aren’t single in RL.
Why keep your personal information private?
While most people keep their Real Life information very private, sometimes it’s tempting to share some of that here. We become very comfortable and share a lot of emotion so it’s natural to feel extremely close to people here. But there’s a reason why Las Vegas uses the slogan, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” It’s because you can’t be free to really have fun in a fantasy way, if it’s going to follow you home and affect your real life. The same thing is true here in IMVU, just like in Las Vegas.
Also remember that, most murders are the result of someone very close to the victim. No matter how close you may feel to someone, and how close you may be right now, virtual relationships can be more fragile than real life relationships so there’s a good chance you will break up. And since most break ups are painful simply because you were so close and loved so deeply, if you have given too much information out a scorned partner with your real life information can cause real damage to the people and things you care about.
So share your emotions, and some general information and background to feel close. But don’t give out real last names, or anything really identifiable. This isn’t Facebook and you don’t want things you do here to be visible in the real world. You will also never regret giving out too little information, but you may very well regret giving out too much.