Katy (my favorite inspiration for posts) said something just a few minutes ago in a comment about connections, “I often feel pulled in so many directions at once and feel bad for having to decline so many invites…” I’ve been feeling that a lot lately. The other possible title I thought about for this thought was, “Does Declining or Someone’s avoiding you?” The answer is NO. And if you think I’m avoiding you, the answer is almost always no. I really don’t avoid very many people. I occassionally unfriend a couple that don’t want to spend more time with. But my problem lately has definitely been not prioritizing way more than making anyone a low priority.
Part of the issue for me is that I’ve let my friends list get so big, because I figured with the website it was important to build my contacts and friends. And I’m on a lot but have trouble getting to see even the important people. I also tend to end up hanging out with the people that seek me out more than the ones I seek out. Sometimes that’s the people that invite me and sometimes it’s coming to say hi. I apologize because there are definitely a lot of great people that I don’t get time to go see.
Another thing that makes it hard is that I don’t have or use my own home base or room. Some friends make amazing rooms but I don’t ever get around to doing what I should and I end up hanging out in lots of differenot rooms. It would be easier if I stayed in one room and had all my friends in the same room at the same time. I wind up with my finger in too many different pies. Again I guess it might be better if I prioritized more and used DND a little more too. If I had one single big circle rather than so many. Alot of the people I know are individual connections which like katy said in her comment makes it harder.
I guess the lessons in this at least to reach me are, be persistant and patient, get to know some of my friends if you can, and don’t just invite me pc, come and say hello in the room I’m in. But just make sure it’s a room you fit in with first. Guys don’t follow me to lesbian rooms or theme rooms you’re not into, or a birthday party for someone you don’t know. And know that I take being invite as a compliment even if I can’t go, and don’t be offended if I can’t go, or sometimes accept even though I can’t stay and just wanted to say Hi. I’m not avoiding you.
One of my best friends asked me this recently and it’s the perfect type of question for here. IMVU tells you how to invite but nobody tells you when or how often is alright. First of all inviting someone you know is always a compliment and is always welcome. But it can be done poorly too, and the invitee also has to have the right to decline. Inviting a friend to talk with them isn’t the same thing as random invites which are usually a nuisance.
If you invite someone and they decline do not re-invite them unless it’s an emergency. If they ignored it, you can reinvite but only after 15 to 20 minutes. That gives them time to get back if they were away or busy for a few minutes and makes it less bothersome. If they ignore a second one don’t invite a third time that day. Send a message. The only exception to the above limits is if it’s your someone special or a friend on that level and/or a real emergency. Also don’t invite someone every time they come on especially if they don’t accept them every time. Inviting every time they come on or inviting repeatedly makes you look like you’re chasing rather than hunting.
When you decline, give a reason if you can. It makes it easier to accept a decline. If you can’t give a reason at the time or ignored it, send a note to say hello or touch base. If you might be able to get back to them it’s OK or even better to ignore it. That way it’ll be in your missed chat invites. Look at your missed chat invites if you’ve been away from your puter when you were on. Inviting wrong or not responding or checking your missed chats has caused issues and increased drama, so it’s important to try to do this correctly.
The bottom line is that, if you’re in doubt invite someone, but just don’t do it repeatedly or it can turn into a negative.