A lot of people stop at the physical side, because that’s what they’re used to with porn or something by themselves. IMVU is more than porn. Yes it’s a little less then real sex but if you really get into it it’s only a very little less. It can also create something that you don’t necessarily have in real sex after a while, that’s the emotional head over heels heart wrenching passion of falling deeply in love. You probably had it at least once in real life but in reality it doesn’t last forever for most of us.
Sure I love my husband but I’m not head over heels in love with him like I was when we first met. That’s nothing against him or us it’s just life. Real life isn’t quite a fairytale fantasy all the time. But this kind of can be.
Some relationships only have the emotional side, and that can be great. Some only have the physical side. Some people live in and never get out of that stage. The real magic though in IMVU comes when you are able to combine both sides!
The heartfelt intimacy and connection makes the passion more powerful. And powerful passion leads to more intimacy and even more of a connection. Either one is great but the combination is ubber powerful!
After the sexiness I realized the intimacy was even more special. You can get the sexiness from A video or romance novel. But you can’t get the feeling of intimacy you get here from a video or feel so connected.
I used to tell a friend that all I wanted was to know her heart and share mine with her. Maybe that could be the ultimate purpose for this crazy place. It’s sexy, it’s fun, but the real value, the real purpose of this to me may be to connect in a very special and deep way. That doesn’t require sexiness although sex is a great way to solidify a good relationship. But sex alone doesn’t make a relationship.
Another interesting question is, what is the purpose of this blog? It’s a combination of three things (in no particular order). It’s to help and talk about issues and give them some interesting ideas and helpful advice here or there. It’s to connect and bond with readers and encourage friendships. Thirdly, it’s to explain a little bit of this crazy experience to the outside world. Oh, and maybe it’s a little bit entertaining along the way.
You may have other ideas about the purpose though. It’s different things to different people. So add your idea in the comments!
Closeness isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. And at least for women it is ultimately important to feel close emotionally. It’s the difference between sex and love. The people who think Imvu is about sex are missing that.
I just spent two hour talking about things with Susan and didn’t do anything overly physical but it was so amazingly intimate. It’s not that we’re not physical. Exactly the opposite is true. But the heartfelt sharing is makes the physical part so much more intense.
Every relationship is different. Some have more intimacy and some have more passion. We all have to find the right balance. But the best strongest relationships definitely have both sides. And the strength of one side makes the other side stronger. They’re not only interconnected but it’s an example of the sum being greater than the parts.
There are so many ways to get close. It would probably be a great post to list some ways to feel closer and more intimate with your partner. I’ll add a couple and if enough other people add things maybe we can make a list too.
How to build Closeness:
- Open your heart and talk about feelings.
- Share secrets.
- Be vulnerable.
- Work toward or plan for something together.
- Be kind and close to your partners friends.
- Write notes.
- Pray for each other.
- Wear something with their name on it, a necklace or shirt or tatto
- Sing a song to them.
- Shop for and find something that shows you were listening to them.
- Make a Home (a room) with them, that reflects THEIR taste.
- Long deep conversations.
- Care about their real life.
- Talk about your beliefs and childhood.
I don’t think Fairies was really a big fantasy of mine before I came here. It’s cute but just doesn’t sound like it would be as sexy as some of the crazy things you find in imvu. But if you like intimacy, you should really try this. It can be the most intimate “magical” thing you’ll find in here. I don’t want to be that all the time. I like the bad girl role a lot too. But with some people this just seems so right and so amazing.
All it really takes to make a fairy is a cute (sexy?) white or light pastel look and a matching pair of wings, some soft music and a flying room or pose. A romantic setting and moonlight and some fire flies help too. It doesn’t take hard core poses, or graphic dirty talk. It takes some heartfelt love and is excellent if you’re more into intimacy than cyber. It can also build a stronger bond than your typical sexy scenario. It may be the uniqueness of it, or the sweet enchanted feeling, or maybe it’s because it seems to combine and build friendship as well as intimacy. I admit I still like vampires, submission and a lot of exciting crazy things in here, but Fairies are always one of the most special things to me.
I was also amazed at how many different fairy pics I actually had. The hard part was limiting myself to a handful of representative fairy pictures. Everyone of these was a beautiful loving time too. Even if this wasn’t a big fantasy you always thought of, you should try and have some fun with it.
I was introducing someone to friends and tried to explain the relationships which can get complicated. I thought for a moment as I introduced people as my best friend, my very best friend and several variations with things like super and awesome, how fortunate I am to have so many super awesome best friends and to be best friends with so many awesome people.
We are all individuals and every relationship is different for sure. But I have the most amazing friends and friendships I’ve ever had in my life in here. I feel like I’ve been saying this a lot lately, because I am truly blessed and wealthy beyond belief in here. LOL, maybe I should wear my pirate outfit because I treasure you all!
I want to know your Heart, was a song we sang in church this Sunday and it reminded me of IMVU so much. One of the amazing things about this crazy place is how it lets you really know and touch someone else’s heart. It’s just a silly cartoon chat program but when you connect I mean really connect with someone you truly love, you wind up with such an amazing full heart connection.
We all go through life doing laundry and cutting the grass but inside I think we kind of yearn to connect, to love and be loved. And this silly game (yes I’m just saying that to tease HollyK) somehow lets you do this sometimes in the most amazing way. I don’t know if this is the purpose of life, but it kind of feels like the purpose of imvu, the ultimate feeling you can search a whole lifetime for, and you find it in a silly computer program. But honestly it’s not the computer program it’s the person on the other side of the screen.
Someone asked me this and it got me thinking a little how it’s changed and grown. When I first started here I was just looking for a safe way to feel sexy. Now I kind of want more. I still want to feel sexy but I have gotten kind of spoiled and know how much more this can be. I want to know your heart and have a magical intimate moving experience.
I like sex but don’t just want sex. Feeling sexy doesn’t even require sex as much as it does intimacy but good sex creates a feeling of intimacy. So many people who think this place is all or mostly about sex have no idea that they’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg. I think we’re all here because we want to be loved. (Am I talking about real life or imvu? Or is it true for both??)
I also want my friends to be happy and I want to please and love them. In some ways I’m actually best at being a second place safe and loving best friend. I love seeing my friends in love just as much as I love being so connected. I bounce around a lot and wear my heart on my sleeve a little too much sometimes. A friend and I were talking earlier today and she takes her time opening up and sizing people up before getting close. I am the opposite. I jump right in and then try to figure out afterwards if it’s the right thing.
What do I not want? I don’t want to own anyone or be owned all the time, although I do like to submit to someone strong that I can love and respect. I don’t need gifts or credits. They are a nice way to say you love someone and a way to show your appreciation though. I certainly don’t need drama or an attitude. I’m also not looking for anything real life. I realize I’m in a minority here when I say I have a great marriage and family but I do.
I gave my best friend Gabby, the title of Queen of Real a while ago because of the way she has always made things so real. Whether it’s having dinner together or making couch pillows that match her real life pillows or the way she makes it feel when she talks, she has always had an amazing ability. One of the things she has always done like that which is just amazingly intimate is how she literally sleeps with her wife or most special girls.
She brings her laptop to bed and lays down in her special sleeping room to literally go to cuddle and drift off to sleep together. There’s something intimate about listening to soft imvu music, talking for a little bit and then drifting off to sleep and waking up (if your internet connection lasts) in your partner’s arms. Time zones being what they are your partner might not be ready to sleep or wake up at exactly the same time, but it still feels more real and very intimate. It’s especially nice if you have time to share some passion and then drift off together as you cuddle.
Unfortunately being married in real life it’s not like I can ever really take my laptop to bed so I’ve cuddled and enjoyed it a little bit once in a while but never really had my own spot or much chance to use it. Recently while my husband was away for a couple days I added a cuddle area in one of my favorite rooms and finally had the chance to use it. I also wound up using it with a couple special friend that didn’t stay and sleep. It was kind of like skipping straight to the warm intimacy feeling. Oh and I came up with a nicer way to say how I love the intimacy. A long time ago a friend said I was an intimacy whore which I kind of liked, but now I say I have a Golden Retriever personality. I just wear my heart on my sleeve and love to love all over everyone.
The best part of a relationship is the head over heels falling in love part. In reality this tends to be kind of rare but in here it can happen so often that you get addicted. I call this “the fun side of the island” from the first Madagascar movie. It’s not shallow, it’s actually very heart felt. I have amazing connections and real heart felt relationships.
Add to this my golden retriever personality, and wearing my heart on my sleeve and I admit I tend to get carried away in a good way (or at least a fun way!). A less nice way to say it is what one of my first gfs called me, an intimacy whore. I guess this is probably true, but I don’t look at it as a bad thing.
Part of this is probably my real life and what I need. Not having real life potential frees me up in some ways but it limits how far I can go or how serious I can be in a sense too. I bounce around too much in here sometimes and honestly just love loving. I give my heart away a lot, maybe too much. But that’s what I do and to me it’s the best part of this crazy place. I don’t expect anything or want anything from anyone and I NEVER want to hurt anyone. I love pleasing people and love living my fantasy life on the FUN side of the island.
When I first started out here I only went to empty rooms. I was still in the playing stage. Learning to move around and playing with everything. It takes a while to get to the relationship side of imvu and to realize that it’s the people that make the room. It’s also the people that make or break your experience here too.
I came here to feel sexy and I enjoy the physical side as much as anyone. But there is a magic and intimacy in being a part of a group of people you truly love and trust. I’ve laughed for hours and felt more intimacy than I could explain even to people on here with the amazing group of friends I have. It’s not about getting naked at all. Nobody took off a stitch of clothing last night. But it’s truly the best feeling in IMVU.
If you’re not having fun here keep looking there are totally amazing people here. It takes special people and a little while to get this close but it’s very easy to meet new people and start fresh here. There really are amazing people in IMVU waiting to meet and get to know you.
I came here to feel sexy but was blown away by the intensity of the emotions and intimacy you can feel here. It takes a little while to get comfortable with it, to learn to lower your walls and share from your heart. New people you don’t know can be fun but it’s also helpful to find the right really good people and build strong friendships too.
I think part of it is that it’s how anonymous it is that frees us up. Part of it is how much we express emotions saying what we feel or think, creating a kind of mind meld. It probably also helps that anyone can be drop dead gorgeous and there’s no disease or risk of pregnancy. Part of it’s a shared fantasy but the emotions are real and very powerful. It can hurt if it falls apart and you have to protect your heart at the same time that you give it away, sharing very deeply. A network of friends can help even more in here than in real life too, both if anything falls apart and giving you loving support system.
We can’t actually see the other side but you develop and share a real heartfelt image as we get to know people from the inside out. It is surprisingly powerful, intimate and addicting. If you haven’t experienced the intensity of imvu sex, try it for a while. It takes a little while to develop but this is definitely part of the future, and worth some effort. It can be one of the most amazing powerful intimate things you’ve ever felt.
How much real quality communication do you get in your real life? I don’t want to say anything negative about anyone in my real life because I really am very happily married, coming up on 10 years in July. But I think it’s safe to say that I get more quality communication time with my best friends in here than most people do with the people they’re closest to in their “real life.”
I’ve been saying that I’m closer to my very best friend Gabby than anyone in imvu or real life for a little while, and a part of me felt kind of guilty saying that or like I must have a pretty pathetic life. And I do admit its kind if boring or quiet in some ways it’s not because my real life is bad. It’s because of the amount of quality time and heart felt emotion that we’ve shared. I am around people but often don’t share as much from the heart in real life. Sometimes it seems like that’s all we do in here.
It’s also hard to explain the level of love and intimacy I share with my best friends in here. It can be amazingly intimate just dancing or cuddling with friends. It’s not about poses or sexy looks, although clothes can certainly be fun to play with. It’s about the unbelievable connection, loving each other so thoroughly in the most amazing heart felt way.
I don’t mean to generalize too much but the people that don’t tend to get this tend to be guys. And if they like sex best, they don’t tend to get how important “talking with my friends” is for me, or how that can be as intimate as great sex in here.
So to all the guys that I have to decline cause I’m dancing with friends I’m sorry. I could invite you in some time, but I have to warn you that it takes some time to get that open and appreciate the closeness and intimacy.
The most amazing thing in here is the level of connection that you can develop with the people you’re close to. And if you don’t get derailed along the way, each relationship seems to build on each other. Everyone is unique but as you go through your journey here you may discover that it gets easier and easier to let your walls down.
I think the way our walls seem to come down in here is what allows us to build such amazing friendships. And each time we let our walls down we learn to let them down more and more easily. You have to learn to protect your heart and if you get hurt too badly when things don’t work out you can get derailed. But aside from that if you can learn to love the ride, it does get better and better as you learn to share. And that connection, that sharing is amazingly powerful.
I have found an amazing connection with my Twin Lyn Katy. We started talking and I had been working on a Fairy outfit for a friend, and one thing led to another. We honestly had the most amazing intimate and loving time together, with nothing more than a kiss and tearing down our walls.