We all get down sometimes. It’s part of being human. It also comes with Imvu to some degree because what goes up usually comes down and it does hurt. The person that seemed perfect one day may hurt or upset you another tome or just not have time for you any more.
It happens to everyone. You can’t control that but you can control how you respond. First of all don’t quit IMVU and don’t do anything out of anger. You may have to walk away from a friend or even a whole group of your friends. If you’re doing it to start fresh go ahead. But if you’re doing it out of anger to hurt them or get even don’t. Unfriending people often only makes things worse. Also remember that when one door closes two more usually open in IMVU.
Don’t dwell on or talk about it too much. It often only hurts you to keep talking about it too much. Don’t delete your rooms. Don’t try to get even. Don’t even stay on imvu too much.
Do try to meet new people. Do hang out with unrelated friends. Join a new Group. Get more sleep. Go to the gym. Spend more time with family or friends in real life. And most of all hug a lot and try not to beat yourself up.
How hard you make it on yourself is is up to you. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. But you can control to some degree how much you let it affect you. Change is constant in here and it can be lightening fast sometimes. Oh and no matter how bad anything seems its not worth carrying around with you. So don’t bottle it up and keep dwelling on it.
when it comes to me, the kisses come free, but they never get all of the heart
This was a line in a Marilyn Monroe song I saw in the pilot of “Smash” on Monday. It also paralleled advice Stephanie said my sis, Gabby had given her which I thought made a good point. :-) When you first come in here and fall in IMVU love for the first time there’s almost no way to be prepared for how much you can feel, how fast and how strong it can be. It’s just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself. When you do, you’ll understand the importance of that advice, “Protect your heart.”
It’s amazing how fast things grow in here. It can definitely surprise you and catch you off guard sweeping you off your feet. It’s fun to be swept off your feet. My twin Katy said “Its amazing how many romances you get to experience and live, but it is a little scary fast.” Unfortunately it can also fall apart even faster. When what was mind blowingly good for weeks or months falls apart in a day or two, it’s going to hurt, ALOT. And I find not being able to talk to people about in real life can make it very hard too. That’s why Gabby’s advice is so important. Enjoy the ride but protect your heart a little bit too. Don’t do it to the point of being jaded or unable to enjoy the awesome rush of the mind blowing romance. But have some friends and realize that it’s the nature of the soap opera insanity sometimes.
That’s why it’s important to take your time a little (if you can) and just know that what goes up must come down, to have friends and maybe some chocolate ice cream on hand, and to know that you will get over it with some time. (I know it doesn’t feel that way at the time though, believe me we’ve all been there) I also tend to find that my experiences seem to build on each other and it’s not always the case but each new imvu romance tends to seem even more vivid and stronger than the one before. I don’t know if that’s true for everyone but the more love I feel the easier it is to love again, somehow. Anyway the point of this was to just pass on Gabby’s good advice that she gave to Stephanie. I also thought since I couldn’t pick just one of her pictures, I’d make a slideshow of the pictures with Stephanie from last night.
When it’s happening to you, you can’t see that and it certainly doesn’t feel like it will get better but it does. You may need to be reminded too. I guess that’s one more parallel with RL. The down side is necessary because of the good, but what goes down must come up too. And no matter how horribly you are hurt in here it’s easy to start over and you will get better.
I know that and it wasn’t really that bad but believe me, we all need to be reminded of that sometimes. Thanks Morgan and thanks for being my friend above everything else. And remember even though it doesn’t seem like it right now, things recover faster in here than in RL if you let them.
It’s VERY painful when we lose great friends and close doors or have them closed on us. The highs are higher here than RL but the lows can be more sudden and deeper too. I think it’s because this place is built on pure communication and emotion. It’s very powerful but at times very painful too. But for the same reason it crashes so fast you can recover in here just as fast if you go out and try, or at least stay open to it.
I felt like I walked away from half my friends last week. It wasn’t actually that bad, just many of the friends connected to one friend and a room. I banned myself and had to let go of ALL the people connected there. I’ve seen some people do that and try to hold on, but I didn’t. I just let go and don’t watch the room or the people. I have seen people try to hang on and fight very hard to keep a relationship that’s already gone and it’s not pretty and it’s very hard on everyone. So I cried and said good bye and left.
A week later, I have a fun hangout place/pt job as a Hooters Girl at Hooter Lovers, I’m part of an amazing family, and I’m a personal slave for one of the best role players I’ve met in here. I always say it’s never boring in here, but it’s crazy how fast you can go from feeling alone, walking away from long time friends and conflicts, to feeling more connected and a part of things than I ever have in here. When one door closes another one does open. Sometimes three of them open even.
So the advice in this, what I learned, is that it’s painful to let go but sometimes that’s really the best thing. And if you do, just do it and move on and something new and better or at least less painful will come along.
Relationships grow faster in IMVU but they can also be very fragile. Your time availability may change, they get a new RL love interest, and all of a sudden you’re sitting here in DisneyWorld without your partner for the rides, and that’s no fun. Even just seeing them come in and not talk to you and not answer an invite can eat away at you and be incredibly painful.
Getting sick or even just having someone else in their family sick, can dramatically affect your relationships. The distance and detachment, makes it easier to talk about some things more than we do in RL, but that distance also backfires a lot.
It’s just part of life. As the saying goes, what goes up must come down. And even a soft let down, will feel down and hurt compared to previous high you had. It’s not your fault. It happens to everyone. You really can’t stay on that kind of high forever. Take pictures, or videos and do your best to capture the feeling and memory of it. Try not to burn your bridges or make rash decisions when you’re going down. No matter how down you feel, you’ll feel better again too. What goes down also comes up. And the neat thing about IMVU is that you can sign out and spend time with your family and friends, or you can even discontinue the account and start over or walk away for a while if necessary.
Believe me, I can tell you this from personal experience and going through boxes of tissues. I can also tell you that walking away is hard, but it can heal faster than you realize or might expect too.