I don’t mean it necessarily in a bad way, but even when everyone is pulling in the same direction you still have so many personalities and relationships and characters twisting and growing and sharing together that it is NEVER boring. It’s so funny, because even between two people that love each other very deeply, it’s still interesting to watch how they twist and playoff of each other sometimes.
Katy has often said that a certain amount of twinging is necessary. I guess I wrote recently the same thing in a different way, that we all have drama, meaning ups and downs in IMVU. Sometimes it’s more like swings from side to side rather than ups and downs. Sometimes it’s loops and spirals. It’s all more than a little crazy but I wouldn’t change a bit of it. It all takes energy but it’s part of being real and it definitely makes things
Lyn is our family name and means a lot to me. It stands for Love Your Neighbor. Taylor came up with that and I love it. It definitely fits. It’s not just physically it’s really more emotionally and about reaching out in and uplifting way.
The best way to say it is putting the others first, not just in theory but every day. If you really do that, you wind up with several people putting you first. You may not even realize how many people care until you run into trouble and suddenly you have so many people trying to help you and lift you back up!
It also requires openness and honesty. This requires some balance. You can be too blunt and too open sometimes. Though it is usually better to err on the side of openness and honesty. You can whisper and PC but keep it to a minimum. Excluding someone is very bad. Again balance is necessary.
I guess the last thing I’d add is that like marriage being part of group like this means making the group my priority. We all juggle and deal with things and its important to know that solid people that you can count on love you and have your back. These are the things that Lyn means to me! And each of the people individually mean way more than I can begin to say.
I was thinking a lot about family here and in real life while I was away recently. We don’t have a choice who our real life family is. Your real-life family is important because you only get one and you know you can count on your family. There’s something very lasting and important about that.
Your virtual family kind of feels similar in terms of importance in its own way, but is much more of a choice. It’s literally family by choice. You become a family when your friendship grows to that point that there’s no other way to describe it. I tend to be able to share more heartfelt emotional things with my virtual family.
Real family is important for your real life and your virtual family is just as important to your virtual life. They are both special. Real life family is special because its permanent. Virtual family is special because its by choice.
I tend to be able to share a lot with family in here but I also try to be more careful in some ways with them too. There are reasons why we don’t mess around in your real family just like there are in here. I Love my virtual family in a very pure kind of way.
Katy is my wife
the cutest of the three
I need her in my life
she fills my heart with glee
loving acts each day
showing who they are
incredible things they play
constantly raise the bar
three kind hearts make me weep
there love I cant deny
the love I feel so deep
its happy tears I cry
together or apart
Im truly blessed you see
my angels touch my heart
loving family of three
I agree with Kait, things do happen fast here. I was reminded recently that my old rule of thumb is that 1 imvu day is like a week, 1 week is like a month, and 1 month is like a year.
I’ve also written here before that one great thing about imvu is all the different relationships, the different loves, and that we should cherish each new relationship.
But there is a reason why poly-amory is rare in rl. I believe there is beauty in it, but it is delicate. One place where multiple ties of love does abound in rl is within a family.
I was lucky that I was too young to remember the birth of my younger sibling, and that somehow my single mother waited until I was adult before dating again, because if television family sitcoms are to be believed, the birth of a new sibling, or the introduction of a parent’s new significant other, will lead to hijinks and hilarity as the existing kids act out until the newcomer is accepted into the family. That’s why entire books are written to help prepare kids for their new siblings.
We are tied both on imvu and in rl by a web of love. And it is a wonderous thing. But that means a shakeup in one thread will lead to vibrations throutout the entire web.
Symbolism means more in here than it does in the real world. Maybe it’s because it’s all symbolic, therefore it’s just as real as anything else. Maybe it’s because we don’t have the little mundane things in here. But giving things that mean something is a big deal. Susan is also the best at showing how much she loves with awesomely cute little little products. Don’t worry about being overly mushy or sentimental, be bold and show how much you love them. It can also be things you wear. It’s very special to have a necklace or bracelet, or tattoos that mean things. Katy is one of the best at that. She always had special ribbons and bracelets and she even gave me my LOVE necklace that I’ve worn since then.
I wear a butterfly clip and butterfly tattoos because she loved butterflies. I wear a very special best friend bracelet from Gabby. I wear Susan’s name tattooed on my feet, that Kim made for me. I wear a special Lyn bracelet and locket with special pictures. It can also be giving someone a key to let them come into a semi private room or making a secret code that only they know. All of these things are important in here and help to build meaningful relationships, and the word BUILD is key. All of these things take time and make people feel close and loved.
Earlier today Gabby did something for Taylor that was very special. She gave her a family bracelet, making her a part of the family. One of the most wonderful things to me is the feeling of belonging that I get. It really is a family. There’s just no other way to describe it. It’s definitely one of the best feelings in the world being a part of that, strong loving group. And it’s even more special to welcome someone that I LOVE.
Imvu is more than a game. It’s a very personal thing. Its a lot of fun on your own but if you really connect with someone or even a group of people you will find out one of the secrets of imvu. It’s a lot more fun as a team sport.
If you’re lucky and open your heart you may end up with a very powerful connection to the point of being able to truly put their needs ahead of your own. This is when it changes from something fun into something much more powerful. This isn’t a sign of weakness as it might seem at first but it’s actually a sign of strength.
When you have someone willing to put your needs ahead of theirs and you put their needs ahead of your own you wind up with a super powerful and rewarding combination. Most people have fun here and do it basically as an individual thing. But the real magic of imvu is the relationships and that feeling of heart felt connectedness.
A lot of people in here don’t realize how great and really intimate it can be just hanging out and laughing and sharing so many things with people you are that connected with. If you think about it we really don’t need much in here and the goal is basically to build and enjoy great relationships. And while you have to be careful who you partner with that’s kind of the goal in here, in many ways.
who are we? sister, sub, domme, pet, slave, mistress, partner, wife, fiancee, girlfriend, niece, auntie, twin sister, bff, miss, mom?
In the real world the words that define our relationships are a lot easier to figure out. Family is mostly defined by blood and legal contracts. But here in imvu, like in the Friends tv show, your family is who you choose.
So its tricky that we have so many words–sister, sub, domme, pet, slave, mistress, partner, wife, fiancee, girlfriend, niece, auntie, twin sister, bff, miss, mom–that all basically just means variations of really good friend, all of whom I love.
So why all the words? Sorting them out can be confusing especially to those who are new but for all of us. Just to complicate it further, things are always changing at internet speed in here, and honestly no two relationships are the same even with very similar people in the same situation and role.
When I started writing, I thought I would define what each of these words mean, but I decided its hopeless. The words mean whatever your heart tells them it means, and that may be different from one family to another.
But I think all the different words should be celebrated. People in my imvu Family are all important to me, just different roles, different parts of me, different parts of US. That weave together and make your tapestry of friends so beautiful and so unique. IMVU is in a lot of ways about relationships and one of the most exciting things about this world is the variety. Vive la difference.
I love art and philosophy and history and science and even math. I love dancing and butterflies and rainbows and kittens and chocolate! I love happy silly pop songs and musicals and opera and jazz. I love Susan.
Most importantly I love my family. I was lost adrift for so long on imvu, finding only meaningless hookups. Finding lots of momentary fun but finding no meaning, no magic. I was missing my family. Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad. I missed you all so bad.
I believe love conquers all. And discord and drama only exists because ever since the tower of babel fell, people must struggle to understand each other. Feelings and thoughts get lost so easily, actions misinterpreted so easily, especially online. Openness is key. And love conquers all.
This was actually from about a week ago, and I didn’t get to publish it and I thought about it again today because I met Cyndia’s family today. They were great, and although there was certainly a wide variety in the people and characters, it was obvious that they were close and comfortable with each other.
It’s kind of interesting because you can tell how close people are by how hard it is to understand the conversation. The closer they are the more inside things are woven into their conversation and the more they just let things flow. But looking for and finding the right people to fit in with here is so cool. With that being said here’s how not to do it.
Guest_*removed*has joined the chat
Kaitlyn: How are you today?
Guest_*removed*: Im Janessa
Kaitlyn: I’m Kait :)
Guest_*removed*: Nice to meet u
Guest_*removed*: Im Lookin for a family
Kaitlyn: you don’t do it this way.
Kaitlyn: you go out and go through rooms that sound interesting
Kaitlyn: find people you like and be a friend
Kaitlyn: you don’t ask for a family
Guest_*removed*: oh okaay
Kaitlyn: you find one you fit in and feel a part of one.
Kaitlyn: a family is just a recognition of your closeness to a group of people.
Kaitlyn: you become family by being such great friends
Kaitlyn: that there’s no other way to describe it.
Kaitlyn: and you don’t just ask for that, you have to be a real friend and that takes time.
Guest_*removed*: so u can help me
Kaitlyn: then you’ll find one.
Kaitlyn: one that you feel like you belong in.
Kaitlyn: It’s not something some can just do to you or give you.
Guest_*removed*: ty can u help em
Kaitlyn: I guess I thought maybe telling you how to do it WAS helping you.
We’re all people and as much as we try to share such good times and love with friends there will still be issues sometimes. We’re humans and unfortunately we can’t let people in with good emotions and not have bad emotions sometimes too. The good side here about feelings growing so quickly and feeling so wonderful can also go bad even faster sometimes and hurt even more than real life. We don’t have body language or other real life cues like you would in real life. So it can be easier to take something the wrong way. We also tend to fill in the gaps with positive things most of the time, but sometimes we imagine something to be worse than it is too.
Sometimes even a small little thing can be taken the wrong way and cause hurt feelings. And if you don’t address that properly you can hurt yourself and a lot of people for no reason. The first thing to do if someone hurts you is to walk away and don’t dwell on it. Don’t send messages about it or talk to other people and do NOT pulse about it. You may think telling other people will help but it may cause more damage than the original comment, both to you and to your friends. Sleep and or give it some time and then look at it with fresh eyes. Late at night it’s easy to keep going on about something but that’s the wrong thing to do.
The first thing to do is at least try to calmly talk to the person just you and them. A lot of things that seem like major issues can be resolved with communication. Give them the benefit of the doubt and at least try to talk it out. This place is built on and fosters communication but it also requires more communication to function than real life too. If that doesn’t work and you have no common friends you can just walk away very easily here. But if you have common friends you can NOT act like it’s just you and the other person or you will hurt and upset a lot of other people that you care about, which can be worse than the original incident.