Posts tagged “cyber

The combination of emotional and physical is powerful

loving imvu familyA lot of people stop at the physical side, because that’s what they’re used to with porn or something by themselves. IMVU is more than porn. Yes it’s a little less then real sex but if you really get into it it’s only a very little less. It can also create something that you don’t necessarily have in real sex after a while, that’s the emotional head over heels heart wrenching passion of falling deeply in love. You probably had it at least once in real life but in reality it doesn’t last forever for most of us.

Sure I love my husband but I’m not head over heels in love with him like I was when we first met. That’s nothing against him or us it’s just life. Real life isn’t quite a fairytale fantasy all the time. But this kind of can be.

sexy family timesSome relationships only have the emotional side, and that can be great. Some only have the physical side. Some people live in and never get out of that stage. The real magic though in IMVU comes when you are able to combine both sides!

The heartfelt intimacy and connection makes the passion more powerful. And powerful passion leads to more intimacy and even more of a connection. Either one is great but the combination is ubber powerful!

How to be better at IMVU Sex

telling you the secret
secret2The first most important thing is the attitude of wanting and trying to please your partner. When you put that first everything else tends to work out. The ones that don’t seem to be trying are the ones I remove or avoid. And even people that aren’t that great or are just ok can get better if they’re really trying and want to please the other person.

The second most important thing to do to be better at passion is to open up and really let your heart flow. You have to put yourself into your AVI and learn to feel and express even the details as much as possible. Use lots of adjectives and paint a vivid word picture of every little detail and action.

secret3Sexiness comes from your mind and the words you use are more important in great passion then sexy poses, triggers or voice boxes or anything else. But that doesn’t mean that the other things don’t help or add to it. So set up and use sexy poses and dress sexy and use sexy music or sounds appropriately. Sex and great love here doesn’t come from those things but doing all of the smaller pieces right definitely adds to the quality and excitement.

secret4There are a few other things you can do that can help you to do a better job that I don’t tell most people about. The best secret trick is to use Dragon Naturally Speaking or any voice program that allows you to talk instead of having to type. I don’t do this during regular chats, but in passion I like to be able to have my hands free so I can enjoy it and still do a good job making it fun and sexy for my partner.

secret5I also use a couple other tricks that I don’t talk about as much. I use a program that helps in typing things, kind of like an auto correct. This allows you to expand a couple of letters into phrases or even whole sentences. I got a gaming keyboard that has a programmable macro keys. I even got a foot pedal so I can just tap the pedal instead of having to use the keyboard for a couple things.

I made a database of all of the best lines I used or could find. A little bit of preparation can help make it very powerful and a lot easier. Some of the macro programs can automate a lot of it. I don’t find that I use those type of macros or the prepared lines as much once I got good with Dragon, because I’m with the same people fairly frequently and I don’t want them to feel any of it is canned or less than less sincere. The point though is that you should try to find a few ways to shortcut and make it easier to do a good job.

secret6One of the things that I do which not everybody does is music. If you search a little bit and work at it you can put together some very hot sexy IMVU music mixes that will add to the feeling of passion.

Make or even find a couple IMVU rooms that have fun themes and use them with some friends. A generic looking room, or even worse the default room is kind of a turn off. But a very sexy room that’s different and exciting will definitely make someone want to come back again and so will real powerful love! Follow up afterwards with a note or two, to stay on their mind, and don’t sound like you’re gonna come track them down, but let them know if you appreciate it.

Poly-Amorism in IMVU

love in imvuPoly-Amorism means loving many. In our real lives everything works better and last longer and goes smoother when you have just one great love. But wait, that’s not true either. We all have lots of relationships and people that love us and we love in real life too. Some of them are mothers and sisters and relatives, coworkers or friends from church or your neighborhood… the list goes on. The key thing that you have to realize is that since you’re not actually having physical contact the consequences and seriousness of it aren’t the same in here and that’s part of the environment here more so than real life.

This is one of the major differences though with IMVU. First of all you don’t have the physical downside of multiple relationships. In real life it creates a health hazard and puts everyone at risk not to mention pregnancy, but here that isn’t a factor. Secondly, it’s geared towards anonymity and privacy so it’s very easy to see someone privately and confidentially, and to meet sexy strangers very easily too.

Those are both some of the reasons why multiple relationships here is not bad, but that doesn’t explain exactly why it’s so good and so prevalent here either. I think the very nature of this place is that it’s ultimately not real and isn’t designed to be a lifetime situation. It’s kind of like living in or going to an adult Disney World and limiting yourself to just one ride.

Unlike real life where the goal is usually to build a long term if not lifetime relationship and commitment, in here people come here for the journey or for the moment, to feel that once in a life time magical passion of new love over and over again. This is their fantasy and many people’s idea of a fantasy is not necessarily a single monogamous thing. Don’t get me wrong, some people definitely do that but given different schedules and life situations, unlike real life, monogamy seems to go against the grain of IMVU.

It’s not you, and it’s important to realize that your actions here do not translate into real life attitudes. Enjoy the magic of IMVU and enjoy the powerful passion that seems to fill this fantasy world.

Do I Fake It?

Amazing IMVU LoveSure, I admit that I don’t always physically do what I describe, but I emotionally do. Real life gets in the way, and there are definitely times when I don’t have enough privacy and can’t. That’s just life. But I do it for the same reason I fake it sometimes in real life, because it’s important to please my partner, not just in a gratification way, but because of what it does for the relationship. There’s something about how we’re made that we not only need that love, but need to share and give it to someone we love.

My favorite position is usually one that I can see the other persons eyes, because I want to look deep into their eyes and into their soul as I feel that feeling of pure ecstasy. It’s important to make that connection. It makes me feel so close and wonderful and I want my partner to feel that too when they look at me. I want to hold on tight, because it’s not a porn movie and I kind of feel that same holding them even when it’s not sex. intimate cuddling I like a finger (or something) in my mouth when I come, even if I can’t suck just because it makes me feel so sexy. And then grabbing his finger in the movies or in the car… well you know.

I’m not here to fake things, but I’m not just here for myself either. So sometimes it’s more important to love and please your partner, and express your love for them, than anything else. It’s great when you you really truly KNOW your partner here and feel their heart and soul and dedicate yourself to pleasing them. You know you’re in love when it’s not about having sex or orgasms as much as it’s about wanting to do anything to please the person you love, and feel that passion with you.

More IMVU Sex Tips

imvu love and romanceI wrote something like this about IMVU SEX Tips before so lets call this MORE sex tips. A few of these overlap but not too much, so if you like this check out the first post about IMVU Sex Tips. These are the things that no IMVU forum will tell you. Your parents or friends don’t tell you this stuff either, but this can help make your experience here much more rewarding. I don’t profess to be an expert in this but I have learned a lot in the past couple years. I’d like to think this is a decent collection of advice but many of you may have valuable things to add too. So please leave me comments!

It’s helpful to let your partner know when you’re getting close and when you come. They want to please you and want to respond appropriately. You also need to give them time to get there, to be ready. Also realize that a lot of people cum either before or after they say it. So don’t stop short, (unless someone is at your door!)

Sometimes with some people that seem more intimacy oriented, I do kind of stay a little quieter and don’t scream as much. But make sure your partner knows where you’re at. It’s kind of awkward to not know whether to keep going or cuddle. Some people I eventually have to ask. And it’s a great feeling knowing that you’ve pleased someone.

photo stream fairy flyingIt’s ok to be quiet a little, but just remember that women are more verbal and often really need your encouragement. And if you aren’t making the other person feel sexy they’re not gonna want to see you again. There’s just too many people eager to please and it’s easy to avoid someone that wasn’t that great.

Be enthusiastic and make the orgasm last a little longer than it does in real life but not too crazy. If they’re not quiet there it gives them time and encouragement. And realize that a little bit of quiet time is also important and probably just means they’re enjoying it.

It’s good to be a little loud and overly enthusiastic but don’t be insane. I knew one girl that would fill 10+ bubbles with CUMMMMMMMMMMMM and it got to be kind of funny. I later concluded that there was a high probability that the person was too young although that wasn’t necessarily related.

Don’t try to keep them forever, but don’t run away too quickly, especially as soon as you come. It’s ok to say it’s hard to let them leave, but don’t whine. One person I know complains when I leave even if we’ve spent over two hours together and it’s like 5am, which just seems kind of unfair.

sunset snugglesWrite a note afterwards if it was good. You don’t have to be a great writer or spew poetry. But letting them know that you appreciated them is important. It’s not as important to send a gift as it is to say something nice and emotional.

I look at my invites and also look at my messages. If you usually just invite, try sending a cute or sexy message instead of just inviting. A message is nice because you can write something seductive, about craving them or needing them, or write a sexy situation.

loving imvu kissKeep going a little after you come or the other person says they come, because most people say it on here a little before or after.

Be flexible. Sometimes I want to keep going a little after wards, and want more but sometimes I can’t, which is often a function of time, and you have to feel them out. It’s helpful to mention your time limitations up front, especially if you have a hard deadline. And if they tell you they have a commitment, respect that.

I like to be seduced, and you don’t have to take the first no I can’t, if it’s not that definitive but you can’t just keep trying too hard all the time. If it’s a schedule thing like having to pick my kids up, seducing probably won’t help much. But if it’s just that I’m not in the mood or tired (unless it’s 430am or super late) sometimes it’s nice to be enticed.

loving imvu seductionMake it your goal for that person to want you desperately. I’m very married in here and super committed to my spouse, but when she’s not here and I’m with someone else, I love them enthusiastically and passionately. And I take it as flattery when they want me to be regular or committed to them. At that point I might back pedal politely but I do like being wanted.

You’re allowed to say things in passion. I used to be afraid to say I Love You, or strong things in passion even if I was moved to, because I was worried what they would think or how it would be taken. I give people more liberty in passion now and take some liberties then too. Don’t worry. That doesn’t mean I want to marry you or that you’re a stalker.

Don’t demand commitment, especially in passion. Make them WANT to commit, don’t require it, especially in the middle of passion. It can be a huge buzz kill and hurt the momentum of the passion much more than it will help anything.

fun love in imvuWhen you’re rampping up, I find it helpful to describe what you’re gonna do, or what you want to do. There’s just nothing more exciting than being told that you’re gonna be taken, that you’re make me cum till I cry. Don’t talk like that if we’re not in the mood to begin with, but talking dirty is super hot if you’re at second base already or sometimes into heavy flirting.

Try to use a few poses. I admit that I’ve definitely had some mind blowing times without any poses, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t have been better if you’d had poses. Sexy poses do add to it, just like getting naked does. I don’t HAVE to get naked to feel sexy but I usually feel sexier when I’m naked. Don’t try to use every pose in the room, and don’t change poses right when the other person is about to cum.

better intimacy in imvuT1 style (longer multi line role playing responses) is good for bigger stories and fighting, but it sucks at building momentum that’s kind of necessary for real passion. If you’re writing a sexy story use T1. If you’re trying to really create and represent breathless interaction, use shorter single bubble lines. Its also easier to read shorter lines when you’re getting into the throws of passion too.

Why do I feel like I’m talking to a dead body sometimes

Don't be just a dead body

Don't be just a dead bodyI understand there are points where it’s hard to type sometimes. I kind of enjoy that. But can’t you at least have an intelligent conversation for a few minutes before you stop talking? And can’t you at least try to make it enjoyable for me? I actually had someone tell me they were going to stop for a while so they can jerk off. If you’re with an escort you’re paying them so to some degree you can say you don’t have to try to make it fun for them. But I’m not doing this for money, I do this because I enjoy it and want to get off with you. It takes some effort and input on your part too. You don’t have to be a romance novel writer, but you kind of have to at least try to make it enjoyable too.

There are several things you can do to make it easier to keep things going without too much typing. Use Dragon Naturally Speaking so you can just talk and let the computer type it out. Make a list of lines so you can copy and paste the when you need to. Program some macros with phrases or lines you commonly use. Or just type short one or two word lines with one finger. These are some of my secrets but I’ll tell you an even bigger one.

I talk a lot during passion, because it makes it more exciting to me. I’ve been with people who can’t speak english and we just used a couple words and moved from pose to pose a little. And one guy that gagged me and he wouldn’t let me say anything and it’s not as much fun. There’s something about saying you feel something that makes you feel it more. So if you’re trying to get by without talking much you’re missing the boat. Not to mention probably boring your partners into moving you to the bottom of their list.

IMVU Sex Tips

imvu sex

imvu sexThis is the type of thing you won’t find in any IMVU forum. This is just some of the things I’ve learned over the past year. Hopefully other people will have some more suggestions but this should be a good start, and get you well on the way to being a great lover!

Say what you feel – you don’t have body language in here but you are allowed to share your thoughts making it even more intimate in some ways.

Take your time and flirt a little – you both know you want it, but seducing someone and flirting with them enough to make them really want it makes it more fun.

Let your heart flow – this takes some practice but when you learn to really let loose and enjoy it.

Even if he or she says they came don’t just stop – It’s not always easy to say you’re cumming at the same moment that you do. So assume that they haven’t yet and be willing to continue a little.

Realize that sometimes things happen – Internet connections crash, people walk in or have to run or fall asleep, or someone important invites them. Sometimes imvu takes patience.

Say the little actions – I learned this from watching my Twin Sister Katy (pictured below). She says her actions so cute, whether it’s Twirling her hair, Blushing, Waves invitingly, Jumping happily into your arms, etc.

Adding a little story can intensify the emotion – It doesn’t take that much, just a simple story to turn a sex encounter into a sexy adventure.

It’s more about the words than the poses or outfits – Your mind is what makes it sexy.

Try Dragon Naturally speaking – This is probably the one best tip I’ve found that allows me to both do better and enjoy more, by being able to talk instead of type.

The only way you have to hold onto anyone here is to make them love you more than anyone – Some people, ok some guys, tend to claim ownership of someone or ask them for a commitment in the middle of passion. You’re allowed to say things in passion but don’t require someone else to agree to anything.

Love with your heart not just the physical side – Sometimes people or at least women, really just need the intimacy and love, not the sex. Sharing that even without the physical side can be very powerful.

Snuggle afterwards at least a little – there are times when you don’t have time, but remember the feeling of being loved is part of what many people want and enjoy about being physical here. So savor it for a minute and let it breath

making imvu sex betterFollow through will increase your odds of getting more – Write a note to at least let them know you’re thinking about them. A gift is a good idea if you liked it and can afford it, but isn’t required. Remember though, it’s easier to get someone who already shared to do it again than to start over every time, and you also lose out on the cumulative effect and stronger connections if you just go from one random encounter to another.

Try to keep talking – don’t leave long gaps, unless you really have to, and use shorter lines rather than really big longer ones (T1 style). Shorter lines keep the momentum going and are easier to read when your passion is really flowing.

Be responsive – If someone mentions something try to include that in your response. It shows you’re paying attention and really there with them.

Research a little if you need to – If you feel like you’re not sure what to say or how to write about this, guys read some romance novels to understand how to write sexy for women and girls watch some porn and pay attention to the banter and things porn stars say because they’re talking mostly to guys. But realize you don’t have to be perfect or be someone else. Just share your heart and try to be expressive and have some sexy words here because in the end, it’s mostly words but can be amazing too.

Feel free to add your own suggestions or ideas. You don’t have to give a name or email address or anything if you don’t want to. If it’s a good tip I might want to meet you though :)

The difference between men and women

It’s no shock that men and women are different. But alot of people may not realize the differences in how they cyber. These are only generalizations so they don’t apply on an individual basis. The simplest way to explain it is that guys have sex and girls make love.  Again that’s probably not a news flash. 

Guys like poses and voiceboxes because they are more visual oriented and need to see and hear it. They also tend to want real life pictures much more thsn girls which I admit i dont get at all being married irl. Girls on the other hand can stay in the same kissing pose and do it all with words. I think this is why girls love romance novels and guys like porn. I think this bcause whats sexy to guys is the physical and whats sexy for a girl, especially on here is the partners mind. Girls can also talk more about their heart and love where guys talk about… well they just don’t talk as much cause they’re typing with one hand. 

Love also takes longer and takes more than just a sex room. And can’t they put more cuddle and kissing spots?!  Its funny though because both sides have their pluses. A heartfelt love is way beyond even good or great sex, but by 2 or 3am sometimes I just want sex too.  But back to the topic, the reason you want to know and understand the differences is that it will make you a better lover and help you get what you really want too.