One of the most surprising but ultimately most important valuable benefits of IMVU is the amazing way you get to share the journey with people you are closer to then your closest friends in real life.
Some of the changes and struggles and growing I’ve gone through together with friends in here is too personal to tell everyone about. But Let’s just say a couple of my friends that were single when I met them are happily married or in long loving relationships, friends have graduated and there have been a few real life marriages and even some families have started.
Those words and things alone can’t describe the emotional impact and feeling it gives me. When you have a really powerful heartfelt connection with somebody and share all of the emotion not just the event or details, it’s just amazingly powerful.
So as I sit here on this holiday looking back on all the lives and connections I’ve felt here I can’t help but feel so lucky and appreciate you all so much! MERRY CHRISTMAS and thank you so very much! I can’t say it enough, but I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU!
After a little while after you start to get comfortable in here with how to move, how to dress and the etiquette, you’ll start to let your thoughts flow straight to the keys. That’s when it’s fun and you’ll understand the potential. You’ll open up and maybe even talk more than you do in real life. I don’t feel like I can be this open and just let things flow as much in real life. It’s just more freeing here, but wait it gets better.
As you let your thoughts flow you start to share things you wouldn’t usually share with anyone, and let emotions flow and all of a sudden you realize you’ve opened up and let your HEART flow. You can’t do this with just anyone. You have to take some time, to be sure they’re trustworthy. Tearing down your walls has to be done one brick at a time at the same time the other person does. If you tear down your walls but they don’t as much you won’t be balanced or have as good of a relationship. You have to really get to know their heart in order to build that heart felt connection.
You’ll know when it happens. You can’t rush it but it does get easier the more you do it. In that regard I think this is a great training program, to some degree. It’s not just your thoughts but your heart and you have to protect that sometimes, but also learn to share it with the right person. All of this is easier to say than to do, and you’ll make some mistakes and get hurt. And when you get hurt in here it hurts more than most other things because it hurts straight into your heart. That’s why you have to protect it at times, but also open up and share things. All of this may sound crazy and make no sense if you haven’t been here a while. If you think this is dumb or fake, just learn to let your thoughts flow into the keys. You’ll have fun and don’t have to share too much else… yet.
Symbolism means more in here than it does in the real world. Maybe it’s because it’s all symbolic, therefore it’s just as real as anything else. Maybe it’s because we don’t have the little mundane things in here. But giving things that mean something is a big deal. Susan is also the best at showing how much she loves with awesomely cute little little products. Don’t worry about being overly mushy or sentimental, be bold and show how much you love them. It can also be things you wear. It’s very special to have a necklace or bracelet, or tattoos that mean things. Katy is one of the best at that. She always had special ribbons and bracelets and she even gave me my LOVE necklace that I’ve worn since then.
I wear a butterfly clip and butterfly tattoos because she loved butterflies. I wear a very special best friend bracelet from Gabby. I wear Susan’s name tattooed on my feet, that Kim made for me. I wear a special Lyn bracelet and locket with special pictures. It can also be giving someone a key to let them come into a semi private room or making a secret code that only they know. All of these things are important in here and help to build meaningful relationships, and the word BUILD is key. All of these things take time and make people feel close and loved.
Earlier today Gabby did something for Taylor that was very special. She gave her a family bracelet, making her a part of the family. One of the most wonderful things to me is the feeling of belonging that I get. It really is a family. There’s just no other way to describe it. It’s definitely one of the best feelings in the world being a part of that, strong loving group. And it’s even more special to welcome someone that I LOVE.
Imvu is more than a game. It’s a very personal thing. Its a lot of fun on your own but if you really connect with someone or even a group of people you will find out one of the secrets of imvu. It’s a lot more fun as a team sport.
If you’re lucky and open your heart you may end up with a very powerful connection to the point of being able to truly put their needs ahead of your own. This is when it changes from something fun into something much more powerful. This isn’t a sign of weakness as it might seem at first but it’s actually a sign of strength.
When you have someone willing to put your needs ahead of theirs and you put their needs ahead of your own you wind up with a super powerful and rewarding combination. Most people have fun here and do it basically as an individual thing. But the real magic of imvu is the relationships and that feeling of heart felt connectedness.
A lot of people in here don’t realize how great and really intimate it can be just hanging out and laughing and sharing so many things with people you are that connected with. If you think about it we really don’t need much in here and the goal is basically to build and enjoy great relationships. And while you have to be careful who you partner with that’s kind of the goal in here, in many ways.
who are we? sister, sub, domme, pet, slave, mistress, partner, wife, fiancee, girlfriend, niece, auntie, twin sister, bff, miss, mom?
In the real world the words that define our relationships are a lot easier to figure out. Family is mostly defined by blood and legal contracts. But here in imvu, like in the Friends tv show, your family is who you choose.
So its tricky that we have so many words–sister, sub, domme, pet, slave, mistress, partner, wife, fiancee, girlfriend, niece, auntie, twin sister, bff, miss, mom–that all basically just means variations of really good friend, all of whom I love.
So why all the words? Sorting them out can be confusing especially to those who are new but for all of us. Just to complicate it further, things are always changing at internet speed in here, and honestly no two relationships are the same even with very similar people in the same situation and role.
When I started writing, I thought I would define what each of these words mean, but I decided its hopeless. The words mean whatever your heart tells them it means, and that may be different from one family to another.
But I think all the different words should be celebrated. People in my imvu Family are all important to me, just different roles, different parts of me, different parts of US. That weave together and make your tapestry of friends so beautiful and so unique. IMVU is in a lot of ways about relationships and one of the most exciting things about this world is the variety. Vive la difference.
Someone told me they didn’t like to go to public rooms because it seemed like the people were often very tight. I can relate because I’m very tight with several people and groups based in public rooms. But in reality those are actually the type of people you WANT to meet. The goal is to find a tight group that you like and feel comfortable with and be tight too.
People with good relationships are more likely to be open to and build more good relationships than people without relationships. You’ll also have more options and flexibility and fun being a part of a group than you will just one person.
I also think the best people in here tend to be well connected in groups. You won’t find the best people by randomly inviting or answering invites, The good people don’t randomly invite or answer random invites very often so if that’s all you’re doing you’re missing the best quality people. And people in groups also usually seem more open and inviting too. Be respectful and don’t rush in like a bull in a china shop but look for a good group, don’t avoid them.
This is an amazing place once you learn to let your walls down. But that’s also part of the danger and why you have to be so careful too. The danger isn’t just that someone random could assault you the way you first think. The bigger danger is how vulnerable you become when you let your walls down so much.
If I met Gabby or Holly or anyone I have a full heart connection with, in real life, I’d have no defenses and be very vulnerable to put it mildly. It’s not being physically hurt but emotionally such an open book that it would be easy to be really stupid. It’s the level and intensity of the connections that makes it dangerous.
It’s obviously dangerous to meet someone you don’t know that well but it’s also dangerous in a way to meet someone you know too well.
Katy (my favorite inspiration for posts) said something just a few minutes ago in a comment about connections, “I often feel pulled in so many directions at once and feel bad for having to decline so many invites…” I’ve been feeling that a lot lately. The other possible title I thought about for this thought was, “Does Declining or Someone’s avoiding you?” The answer is NO. And if you think I’m avoiding you, the answer is almost always no. I really don’t avoid very many people. I occassionally unfriend a couple that don’t want to spend more time with. But my problem lately has definitely been not prioritizing way more than making anyone a low priority.
Part of the issue for me is that I’ve let my friends list get so big, because I figured with the website it was important to build my contacts and friends. And I’m on a lot but have trouble getting to see even the important people. I also tend to end up hanging out with the people that seek me out more than the ones I seek out. Sometimes that’s the people that invite me and sometimes it’s coming to say hi. I apologize because there are definitely a lot of great people that I don’t get time to go see.
Another thing that makes it hard is that I don’t have or use my own home base or room. Some friends make amazing rooms but I don’t ever get around to doing what I should and I end up hanging out in lots of differenot rooms. It would be easier if I stayed in one room and had all my friends in the same room at the same time. I wind up with my finger in too many different pies. Again I guess it might be better if I prioritized more and used DND a little more too. If I had one single big circle rather than so many. Alot of the people I know are individual connections which like katy said in her comment makes it harder.
I guess the lessons in this at least to reach me are, be persistant and patient, get to know some of my friends if you can, and don’t just invite me pc, come and say hello in the room I’m in. But just make sure it’s a room you fit in with first. Guys don’t follow me to lesbian rooms or theme rooms you’re not into, or a birthday party for someone you don’t know. And know that I take being invite as a compliment even if I can’t go, and don’t be offended if I can’t go, or sometimes accept even though I can’t stay and just wanted to say Hi. I’m not avoiding you.
I see that so clearly in my 14 year old daughter that sleeps with her cell phone and myself in here. It’s kind of strange but whether it’s messages in my inbox here, yahoo messenger or comments on the website the more I communicate the better I feel and the more I want to communicate.
Imvu is just one more way you can connect with people. The surprising thing to me is how powerful the emotional connection can be. Another surprising thing is how it literally gets easier and to let your walls down, then of course how addicting it becomes.
Just like the way a blind persons other senses become even more sensitive to make up for it, in IMVU you can’t see the physical and there is no little things to get in the way, so you get better at sensing the non physical. I call this IMVU vision. It’s almost impossible for someone who hasn’t been here for a while and experienced it to understand I know.
You can’t see with your eyes so you have to learn to feel with your heart. I think that’s why we sometimes feel such a powerful deep connection and I even say this place proves there is a soul. These pretty pixels and words can get pretty powerful, to the point that I feel closer to friends in here than I do in real life.
I say than “friends” in real life because I kind if feel like the friendships are more real in a sense than the love, in here. Don’t get me wrong I do love the love too, which sounds funny to say. But it’s loving friends in here that is my favorite part. I’d say the best thing I’ve learned in here is to love with all my heart. And I honestly couldn’t put just one person’s pictures up for this one so I picked a couple (not all!) of the IMVU girls who I feel so strongly connected right into my heart. You’ll find your own people and understand when it happens to you.