Real life marriage is a obviously one of the most important commitments that we make in life. Being happily married irl, it definitely scared me when I first heard about IMVU weddings. I was afraid that it would hurt my real life situation. Fortunately a year later I can tell you that it doesn’t necessarily hurt and can actually help.
Imvu marriages vary more in terms of who and even how many can marry more than they do in real life. And what it means varies even more too. Most people like to picture a real life marriage level of commitment but in reality it can be almost anything you can imagine or the two of you want. To me it all boils down to making your partner your priority and some commitment level. And no matter how you treat it, I think being married in here is definitely a good thing.
In life many people have a drive (your internal clock) pushing you to marry. In here you don’t have that. There is no expectations or parents looking for grand kids or feeling like you have to get married or you’re living in sin. In fact the opposite is probably true, there are so many distractions and temptations in here it seems like some type if singles paradise. So why would anyone get married in here?
I don’t think many people getting married In here do it to make a commitment. I think they do it to acknowledge the commitment they already feel. Marriage in imvu varies in terms of openness from exclusive to wide open. But the common thing both of these extremes have is that you make the other person your priority. You get married to tell them that and show them that they are your priority. That’s when you realize another imvu secret a lot of people don’t realize. IMVU is actually much more fun as a team sport.
I’ve said before not to ask for pics or webcam when you first meet someone, but even more than that, don’t assume because you are intimate that she wants to be intimate with you constantly because she did one time. Don’t assume because she played your love slave she wants to be your love slave permanently. And don’t ask her to be your girlfriend after one conversation or encounter.
It would be rude to say after being intimate with someone that they weren’t that great or that they weren’t anything special. It’s also equally wrong for a guy to immediately assume they are the best she’s ever had too or that she wants to do more than what you just did. If you want more you have to MAKE her want more. Send notes and or gifts and make her want to please you, share some of your heart but not all of it, and make it fun with sexy creative rooms, and make her laugh.
Don’t ask her to be your slave, make her want to be your IMVU slave. Everything here is voluntary and they can disappear and block you with a click. The only thing you have to keep even someone you’re married or committed to in here is your love and making them want to stay. Don’t ever stop making them want to stay or the whirlwind of IMVU will start pulling them away.
A new friend (Girl7770) made an important point the other day, about setting ground rules. There are so many different types of relationships in here and a much wider broader range of what’s acceptable than anything in real life. You’ll want to make sure you are compatible in several areas, such as whether you could ever take anything off of here and have real life potential, the level of communication, both in terms of the amount of time and what things if any beyond IMVU would be acceptable. Time zones and the amount of time and times of day you intend to commit are considerations, because there’s nothing harder than being committed to someone that’s not around or is only available at a time you can’t be here.
The other big area that you need to make sure you’re on the same page with is your exclusivity. First of all, this isn’t real life and seeing other people here may not be cheating at all, and in any case isn’t really the same thing as doing it in real life. Exclusivity goes against the grain of IMVU. It’s not that it’s impossible but it’s harder to do in here than real life. It’s like limiting yourself to one ride in Disney World. There is temptation around every corner. Also be aware that your partner probably needs some time away with other friends, to be really healthy and happy too.
There are a variety of ways that people handle it. Some couples make a list of acceptable partners that the other can play with, or a list they can’t play with. Some say it’s OK to do when the other is on and some say only when the other is off. Some people limit themselves to no orgasm, no penetration, or just about any variation you can dream up, someone is probably doing that. The point is that you have to understand what your expectations and behavior should be. This should certainly be a much bigger post with a better break down and maybe even a survey too.
The trick to making a relationship work here (as in real life) is communication. Also realize that things change and evolve in here so this may be something you’ll have to revisit. And if your partner’s doing something that’s not comfortable for you, you have to talk about it. To keep it bottled up until it blows up is even worse. And please don’t attack them for breaking the rules if they don’t know them. From personal experience that is really not fair. Relationships are what this place is all about and can be absolutely awesome, but they require even more communication than they do in real life.
There is temptation everywhere here and even if you don’t look for it, it’ll still find you. If you’re aiming toward a RL relationship it may be a good idea to stick to a commitment similar to what you would want in RL. But if you’re not aiming toward a RL relationship, it may be smarter to enjoy the imvu-ness and commit to put your partner first but not commit to avoid all contact. Requiring your partner to avoid the constant temptation may not really be as beneficial here as it would be in RL and it’s much harder to do in this wacky land of temptation.