I recently sat down with a friend and talked about dealing with the down times in imvu and realized something about my experience in here that I hadn’t quite thought about like this before. The very worst times I’ve had in here, when I’ve been down and at my very lowest in here were actually important changing points in my life in here.
At one point I had to essentially walk away from the whole group I was with. That was right about the time I started the website. The person I had the problem with was going to make me a website and I had to figure out how to do it myself. That’s why I ended up hanging out with Gabby and that’s how the Night Shift started. When one door closes in IMVU another one opens
Then when my ex Holly left I was kind of floundering and decided to try to get to know Katy (& Susan) which led to the Lyn family. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but the two worst downtimes in here actually led to the two most important connections of my IMVU life.
We all get down at times but realize that just like in life sometimes it takes a push to get out of our comfort zone and start something new. If you’re down, maybe you’re at that turning point that starts something even more exciting and fun then you can imagine right now.
I kind of picture my time here like a garden and I feel like I only have so much space (time) available to garden in. It hurts to pull something out because it was good at times and we all kind of resist change but what grows back and winds up filling up that new free space might be even better then you were expecting. I also find that things tend to get better and better, from relationship to relationship. I know it’s hard to look at it like this when you’re feeling that pain, but it’s part of growth and life.
I agree with Kait, things do happen fast here. I was reminded recently that my old rule of thumb is that 1 imvu day is like a week, 1 week is like a month, and 1 month is like a year.
I’ve also written here before that one great thing about imvu is all the different relationships, the different loves, and that we should cherish each new relationship.
But there is a reason why poly-amory is rare in rl. I believe there is beauty in it, but it is delicate. One place where multiple ties of love does abound in rl is within a family.
I was lucky that I was too young to remember the birth of my younger sibling, and that somehow my single mother waited until I was adult before dating again, because if television family sitcoms are to be believed, the birth of a new sibling, or the introduction of a parent’s new significant other, will lead to hijinks and hilarity as the existing kids act out until the newcomer is accepted into the family. That’s why entire books are written to help prepare kids for their new siblings.
We are tied both on imvu and in rl by a web of love. And it is a wonderous thing. But that means a shakeup in one thread will lead to vibrations throutout the entire web.
Imvu is a great place to experiment, to try new things you’d never do in real life. It’s also such a big place you can find groups of people into almost anything, even things you probably never imagined before.
It’s also easy to search and pop into all kinds of rooms. To change your whole look and personality with just a couple clicks. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things because just like experimenting with your looks helps you improve your looks, meeting and interacting with a lot if different people is how you improve your character or your personality.
Sometimes I think the hardest part is figuring out what you want. The way to figure out what you want is to try new things so don’t be afraid to try new things in here. If you can’t try new things in here, where can you?! I like to ask people what they really like best in here and it’s surprising to me how many people don’t know what they want or are afraid to tell anyone, even someone that wants to make it happen.
By the way, I came here for Intimacy, though my fantasies have gotten more and more extreme into things that scared me when I first came here.
It may be because girls care more about how they look or maybe because there are more sexy clothes for girls or they like shopping more (or all of the above) but girls change their looks all the time. Maybe it’s because they don’t like to shop much but a lot of guys seem to wear the same thing in the same room ALL the time.
It’s not like your clothes get dirty I know but there is an evolution process that comes from the daily tweaking and testing that a lot of guys or anyone that doesn’t change seem to miss out on. Besides it’s part of the fun. It’s also important to keep changing things to keep things interesting. There are always new exciting people waiting to meet you and if you don’t work at it even a good relationship will seem boring here pretty quick. It’s like living on the Vegas strip, you have to work hard to keep their attention.
When I look back at pictures just 8 months ago when I started the blog it feels so old. I thought I looked great at the time but I can barely even wear those outfits now. The more you change and play with things and associate with other attractive people to get and share ideas and things with, the more you keep improving things. And if you don’t change you don’t grow, which means if everyone else is growing and you’re not you’re getting old fast, at internet speed.
One other interesting thing I didn’t think of at first is that not changing could be a clue about someone’s real gender. It doesn’t prove anything and some people certainly can’t afford much which I totally understand. But it’s just something to keep in the back of your mind. This place is moving at warp speed and it takes some effort but it’s so much fun to be a part of it.
We’ve all been through times of change and disruption in in our lives when things just got crazy (in our real life) and our virtual life suffered. I think this falls into the category of “Life Happens.”. This is exaggerated by the way time passes in here and a month can seem like almost a year in here.
So it may seem like a long time in here but also realize that it’s during these challenges that true friends prove themselves and true love shines. So when when you see someone going through these tough situations embrace and support them and you will have a bond that nothing can break.
I wrote this for and in response to the post missing Kim who moved across the country and started a new job. Let’s see are there any other things we can change at one time?!! But it honestly hits a little close to home with my Holly too who is obviously going through things too. So I say this with a lot of tears in both directions, saying to everyone as much as to myself, to hang in there and know that love will overcome.