I wrote once before what I was looking for but thought I should expand on that. This isn’t just me, but some things girls in general look for. Someone that shows affection and appreciation. There are lots of ways to do this. I’m not a gift hound but some really respond big time to that. I like sexy or exciting messages. Role play opening messages are the best.
Someone that writes often, and talks well. Silence is golden and that’s fine sometimes but being more expressive is the biggest thing to me. Don’t just stop talking! I love someone that pushes me and makes me feel sexy or seduces me.
The person that’s persistent and committed in imvu. A lot of people take not being available as a sign I’m not interested but its really just that I’m busy. Sure at some point you have to move on but err on the side of patience if you can.
The person that’s available at the right time. If someone was available at 11 pm one day, try again at that time the next day. If it was a weekend try them again the following weekend. Consistency is important in a relationship.
Someone that invites and or writes sexy notes. I have too many people on my friends list so I start with my messages and missed invites to see who I should talk to. Don’t invite too fast when someone comes on because they may not have loaded or may need a mi ute but you can write right away.
When you write its ok sometimes to just say a quick Hi! How are you? But sometimes write something clever or exciting. (Save a file or document of great messages you’ve used). Also try to send messages from your webpage which you access at Imvu.com when you’re notable to get on for a while. Part of building a relationship is staying on the top of someone’s mind.
Someone that seems to really care (loves?) is VERY attractive as long as its in here and sounding like it goes into real life. That may not be much of a concern for some people but to me being married, that’s cheating and could very easily be the end of this whole thing. So I love real passion in here but it has to very safe too.
The biggest thing about who I go out with and see repeatedly is who makes it exciting and makes me feel really sexy and wanted. If you shut up and don’t make me feel sexy I’ll probably keep going and carry it but I won’t look for you again any time soon. If you make it awesome I’ll look for you and do my best to curl your toes and make you scream (with me).
I read this in a relationship book recently. It seemed true and interesting when you look at behavior in imvu too. Men do seem more visually oriented (male strippers are rare) and I think flip side is true too. Women like to be appreciated more for their looks more than men. I think that comes from biology since in order to do much, men need to be attracted and women need to be able to attract them. Women also like to get love notes and read romance novels more than men. I also thought about how it relates to my activities in imvu and I have to admit I like to talk during sex. Ok, I admit I talk a LOT during sex. It helps me to feel it more. And it’s what the guy says that turns me on, more than any certain look. OK, looking at some things is definitely fun and helps too, don’t get me wrong. ~blushing~
For guys, the good news is that it’s what you say that makes you sexy or not, more than anything else. On the other hand, the bad news is that it’s also what you say that makes you sexy or not too. That means if you want women to give you what you want visually, give them what they want verbally. Talk more! Romantic appreciative and caring things work the best. But even general conversation, not talking about anything special or leading, helps make a girl feel better and enjoy spending time with you. Even if you think of yourself as the strong silent type, open up and ramble a little. It’ll almost certainly get you further in terms of a relationship and having fun here than being more quiet.
I also think that guys tend to come in to a room and look around and decide what to do or who to talk to, where women tend to come in and chat and flirt a little and need to talk a little first before doing too much. The differences are subtle but women do need to talk more, whether it’s bantering with girl friends at the real life water cooler or dancing in imvu or cuddling afterwards. (I love my kids but some days I just crave adult conversation.) There are also times that I only want to talk (or shop). Maybe it’s a function of the guys I know but they don’t usually want to just talk and they hate to shop.
Please understand though, that this is just overall generalities and does NOT prove anything at all on an individual basis. One of my best friends said she was visually oriented, and asked if that meant she was a guy and the answer is clearly no. But if you’re trying to attract guys in general being visually attractive certainly helps. And if you’re trying to attract girls, talking and communicating well (being attractive internally) definitely helps.
I kind of feel like this is more obvious for girls than it is for guys since we are used to having to attract more than chase. We buy way more clothes and work much harder to be attractive and we appreciate compliments on our looks more. That’s a big part of why I came here, to feel sexy and loved.
Guys try to be strong but I think it’s just as true for guys though too. They want their partner to love and want them just as much. I used to feel awkward saying I love you, to guys since I’m married in real life. However I think I kind of feel like it’s part of being a good lover here now, as long as they aren’t getting clingy or possessive. We all want and maybe even need to feel wanted and loved.
IMVU is great because I think it lets everyone feel wanted. Anyone can have a good body and you can’t turn around without someone flirting or propositioning you. You are as attractive in here because of your inside not your outside. We all wish we could be skinnier taller or something and this is a great fun way to feel sexy and wanted. Just remember this and go a little out of your way to tell and show someone that you love them. There’s not much you can do in here to feel more attracted to you than to express your attraction to them.