I wrote once before what I was looking for but thought I should expand on that. This isn’t just me, but some things girls in general look for. Someone that shows affection and appreciation. There are lots of ways to do this. I’m not a gift hound but some really respond big time to that. I like sexy or exciting messages. Role play opening messages are the best.
Someone that writes often, and talks well. Silence is golden and that’s fine sometimes but being more expressive is the biggest thing to me. Don’t just stop talking! I love someone that pushes me and makes me feel sexy or seduces me.
The person that’s persistent and committed in imvu. A lot of people take not being available as a sign I’m not interested but its really just that I’m busy. Sure at some point you have to move on but err on the side of patience if you can.
The person that’s available at the right time. If someone was available at 11 pm one day, try again at that time the next day. If it was a weekend try them again the following weekend. Consistency is important in a relationship.
Someone that invites and or writes sexy notes. I have too many people on my friends list so I start with my messages and missed invites to see who I should talk to. Don’t invite too fast when someone comes on because they may not have loaded or may need a mi ute but you can write right away.
When you write its ok sometimes to just say a quick Hi! How are you? But sometimes write something clever or exciting. (Save a file or document of great messages you’ve used). Also try to send messages from your webpage which you access at Imvu.com when you’re notable to get on for a while. Part of building a relationship is staying on the top of someone’s mind.
Someone that seems to really care (loves?) is VERY attractive as long as its in here and sounding like it goes into real life. That may not be much of a concern for some people but to me being married, that’s cheating and could very easily be the end of this whole thing. So I love real passion in here but it has to very safe too.
The biggest thing about who I go out with and see repeatedly is who makes it exciting and makes me feel really sexy and wanted. If you shut up and don’t make me feel sexy I’ll probably keep going and carry it but I won’t look for you again any time soon. If you make it awesome I’ll look for you and do my best to curl your toes and make you scream (with me).
Don’t care and try. Believe it or not there are a lot of people that really don’t seem to even try. They do all the work and spend the time, make their account and when they finally find somebody they don’t seem to even try to make it pleasurable for the other person.
Just stop talking. It’s a chat program which means you’re supposed to talk. Just as bad as not talking is double talking. We all have other friends and get invites and life happens, sometimes you have to break away for a moment, but don’t go back and forth and do something else wow somebody is being intimate with you EVER!
Be depressing and down all the time. We are all human and we all have some ups and downs sometimes. And sharing those emotions and sharing those ups and downs can help to build a relationship, but always being down and depressed will definitely hurt you and make people not want to be around you.
Don’t care about your looks. Sure they are just pixels but looks are actually a decent way to judge how much someone cares and how experienced they are in here. It takes some work to make a really good look and that shows your seriousness. If you looks like a noob you aren’t going to attract many decent people.
Just stand there pumping and say “get naked” or “come here”. I mean you’re only interested in sex right. Or walk in to a room and ask sex. There are rooms like that and there are so many people here you can do almost anything to some degree.
Nobody intentionally tries to be bad. I just thought this was an interesting way to say things. I’m just trying to help make it better for you. I want everyone here to have a great time! If you think anything else should be added leave a comment!
When it’s really important with someone… sometimes it’s better to wait! In here it’s literally all in your head. That means it’s literally as powerful and important as you make it. So sometimes a little bit of extra time and effort, especially for your first time with someone important can make a huge impact.
That doesn’t mean it’s not exciting to get swept away with something spontaneous. I definitely enjoy that a lot too. But sometimes when it’s really important like someone you’ve known for a long time, having to wait and let it build up a little bit longer, making you both a little bit crazy, can make for awesome fireworks!
It’s important at this point, when you have to put it off, to write a very good note explaining how much they mean and how you’re looking forward to finally being able to spend more time together. Again because so much of this is mental, and in your head, building up a little bit extra emotion and excitement only adds to the intensity.
It’s also nice if you can plan a special date. Calling it a date in here also makes it a little bit more special. We tend to have a lot of different random encounters but most people don’t get a “date” very often. So try to schedule this final one in advance and even send them something special to wear with a note about how much you’re looking forward to it. You aren’t going to do this with everybody obviously, but when it’s important and you want to make that amazing first impression it’s the build up and the little things that make all the difference.
I read this in a relationship book recently. It seemed true and interesting when you look at behavior in imvu too. Men do seem more visually oriented (male strippers are rare) and I think flip side is true too. Women like to be appreciated more for their looks more than men. I think that comes from biology since in order to do much, men need to be attracted and women need to be able to attract them. Women also like to get love notes and read romance novels more than men. I also thought about how it relates to my activities in imvu and I have to admit I like to talk during sex. Ok, I admit I talk a LOT during sex. It helps me to feel it more. And it’s what the guy says that turns me on, more than any certain look. OK, looking at some things is definitely fun and helps too, don’t get me wrong. ~blushing~
For guys, the good news is that it’s what you say that makes you sexy or not, more than anything else. On the other hand, the bad news is that it’s also what you say that makes you sexy or not too. That means if you want women to give you what you want visually, give them what they want verbally. Talk more! Romantic appreciative and caring things work the best. But even general conversation, not talking about anything special or leading, helps make a girl feel better and enjoy spending time with you. Even if you think of yourself as the strong silent type, open up and ramble a little. It’ll almost certainly get you further in terms of a relationship and having fun here than being more quiet.
I also think that guys tend to come in to a room and look around and decide what to do or who to talk to, where women tend to come in and chat and flirt a little and need to talk a little first before doing too much. The differences are subtle but women do need to talk more, whether it’s bantering with girl friends at the real life water cooler or dancing in imvu or cuddling afterwards. (I love my kids but some days I just crave adult conversation.) There are also times that I only want to talk (or shop). Maybe it’s a function of the guys I know but they don’t usually want to just talk and they hate to shop.
Please understand though, that this is just overall generalities and does NOT prove anything at all on an individual basis. One of my best friends said she was visually oriented, and asked if that meant she was a guy and the answer is clearly no. But if you’re trying to attract guys in general being visually attractive certainly helps. And if you’re trying to attract girls, talking and communicating well (being attractive internally) definitely helps.
I always wonder how can people say they’re bored in here. It’s like saying you’re bored in Adult Disneyland. It’s the most unboring place in the world and can be anything you want it to be. I think maybe they just don’t know how to use it.
First of all never say you’re bored. It makes you sound boring. I made a great list of IMVU activities you can go do. There are is an almost endless variety of fun toys and things to do and rooms to explore. One tip, if you’re looking for interesting IMVU rooms look for ones with four stars. Pick rooms that you have an appropriate costume for but just get out there and wander around.
Make a crazy and exciting costume. There are studies that show when you smile you feel happier and the IMVU corollary is, when you look exciting you feel more exciting. Make yourself someone that someone exciting would want to hangout with. If you’re bored you’ll attract other boring people. If you’re exciting you’ll attract other exciting people.
A lot of guys seem to say they’re bored when they mean horny. Maybe they think saying they’re horny will sound bad. I actually think saying you’re bored makes you sound worse than saying you’re bored. I’d rather talk to a horny guy than a bored guy.
I also think people that are really bored just don’t know what they want to do, because you really do find what you look for here more than anywhere else. So look around at all the different things here (and there’s a ton of exciting themes in here) and pick something. You can always change, it’s not like you’re stuck with just one thing. Make a different costume, a story and maybe a fun room, and go out and meet other people. This place is addictingly fun and you can be tired or have an off or quiet day but its never ever boring!
I understand there are points where it’s hard to type sometimes. I kind of enjoy that. But can’t you at least have an intelligent conversation for a few minutes before you stop talking? And can’t you at least try to make it enjoyable for me? I actually had someone tell me they were going to stop for a while so they can jerk off. If you’re with an escort you’re paying them so to some degree you can say you don’t have to try to make it fun for them. But I’m not doing this for money, I do this because I enjoy it and want to get off with you. It takes some effort and input on your part too. You don’t have to be a romance novel writer, but you kind of have to at least try to make it enjoyable too.
There are several things you can do to make it easier to keep things going without too much typing. Use Dragon Naturally Speaking so you can just talk and let the computer type it out. Make a list of lines so you can copy and paste the when you need to. Program some macros with phrases or lines you commonly use. Or just type short one or two word lines with one finger. These are some of my secrets but I’ll tell you an even bigger one.
I talk a lot during passion, because it makes it more exciting to me. I’ve been with people who can’t speak english and we just used a couple words and moved from pose to pose a little. And one guy that gagged me and he wouldn’t let me say anything and it’s not as much fun. There’s something about saying you feel something that makes you feel it more. So if you’re trying to get by without talking much you’re missing the boat. Not to mention probably boring your partners into moving you to the bottom of their list.
I think we are all drawn to someone that loves us. We all want to be loved. But at the same time you can have too much of a good thing and wind up scaring the other person away. There’s a fine line between loving more than anyone else and slipping into too much and being obsessive and possessive or clingy. There are a few things though that you can do though to keep it from feeling like too much.
Be Romantic. Romance feels less threatening and more attractive. It doesn’t even have to cost anything in here. It’s just the thought that counts so think romantically.
Realize that the only way to hold someone here is to love them more and make them want to stay with you. There are a million distractions just a click away and other people inviting them. And if you want them to make you a priority give them a reason. Don’t ask for a commitment. Just be committed and be a friend not just a lover. And love the person behind the screen without ever saying it.
Love them a lot but do it loosely and try to be their friend and cheer leader. Don’t try to control things to much and take your time. Have fun with it and some patience. Things progress fast in some ways here but they still take time to be real.
Cherish the time you have rather than lament the time that you don’t. So many guys spend their time with me complaining about not getting enough time with me, instead of enjoying it. and then they wonder why I’m not excited about seeing them. ~Katy
Most of all respect their real life. The quickest way to ruin something good here is to try to take it outside of here. Even if they’re not married don’t push it at all. Act like you don’t care and let them have time and get comfortable and committed. You might not have to work this hard to get someone that doesn’t have many prospects but if you want something special this is how.
The good news is that you can act like an idiot in here and still get lucky sometimes. Jimmy Buffet says it’s 5pm somewhere. It’s also 1 am somewhere and someone just came in from dancing and drinking and is horny and looking. A stopped clock is right twice a day. But if you want to get the best girls and want them to look for you and come back to you again, you have to be good. You don’t have to be great or be perfect, but you should try to be as good as you can.
Even if gorgeous women grow on trees in here, women want to be seduced. And if you play along and give them what they want, making them feel special and flirting and teasing them they will give you what you want getting more into it and will want to do it again and again. Flirt with and play with them, be confident but not arrogant, sexy but not degrading, keep talking, be descriptive and make them feel sexy, put emotion and passion and energy into it. Be creative and make it fun. Read a romance novel like 50 shades of Gray or some sexy stories online. These things take a little effort but you’ll get much more out of this if you do that, I promise.
People are anonymous in here so you can say or do anything to some degree. But in general we tend to behave a lot like the way we do in real life. In general girls flirt more and try hard to make themselves attractive and want to be chased and seduced.
Guys tend to be more hunters. Confidence is sexy and conversation skills are important. But they tend to be much more focused on sex. Relationships are often a distant second.
This is one of the ways girls can often tell when a guy is pretending to be a girl. The epitome of this is when someone comes into a room and immediately asks for sex, out loud or in whispers. Real girls don’t do that because we are taught or have learned to be selective and want to make the other person want us. We flirt and require more build up. Guys can just jump in and don’t need much build up.
I’ve said before not to ask for pics or webcam when you first meet someone, but even more than that, don’t assume because you are intimate that she wants to be intimate with you constantly because she did one time. Don’t assume because she played your love slave she wants to be your love slave permanently. And don’t ask her to be your girlfriend after one conversation or encounter.
It would be rude to say after being intimate with someone that they weren’t that great or that they weren’t anything special. It’s also equally wrong for a guy to immediately assume they are the best she’s ever had too or that she wants to do more than what you just did. If you want more you have to MAKE her want more. Send notes and or gifts and make her want to please you, share some of your heart but not all of it, and make it fun with sexy creative rooms, and make her laugh.
Don’t ask her to be your slave, make her want to be your IMVU slave. Everything here is voluntary and they can disappear and block you with a click. The only thing you have to keep even someone you’re married or committed to in here is your love and making them want to stay. Don’t ever stop making them want to stay or the whirlwind of IMVU will start pulling them away.
Did you ever wish you could be a fly on the wall listening to the private conversations about what IMVU girls look for? This was totally unplanned but I talk about a lot of stuff with my girlfriends and this wound up being such an interesting discussion I thought I’d just keep it in conversation form. I took off a little bit of pleasantry up front and edited one or two typos. I added a link or two, to posts that I’ve written about those topics, too, but other than a word or two, this is just a candid conversation about what women look for.
My friend mentioned an interview process which intrigued me and started the conversation. I cut it off when it turned to talking about specific people and things. Who the conversation was with isn’t important but she is gorgeous and has been here for several years. She’s been here quite a bit longer than me and I enjoyed hearing some of the same things I’ve found and learned from it too. And lets continue the conversation if it sparks any thoughts back to you.