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Warning: You will HATE IMVU eventually!

kait imvu dreamingIMVU itself is great, but the corporation and customer service in particular seems bound and determined to make No matter how much fun you have in here, you will at some point

I don’t work for IMVU (that’s never been more obvious!), I just made this website because I LOVE IT. I’ve had 193,465 hits on my website, given out 6,805 gifts and spent over $8,000 in the past two years on credits directly at IMVU (not counting resellers). I’m head over heels in love and getting married in a couple weeks in here! I’m nothing if not one of their very biggest supporters anywhere and it breaks my heart to say anything bad about any of it. But the bad guy isn’t the one pointing out the problems, it’s the people that ignore them.

I don’t know how else to say it but, I have never seen a corporation so determined to attack and hurt their customers. I understand the need for rules and the need to enforce them. I understand being spread thin and needing to handle support as efficiently as possible, but after the conversation (I’m not sure the Live Help is really a live person or can be called a conversation) I had today with Matt, I considered a number of options but decided it was long past time to make a section of the website for IMVU Complaints. I Love the people here more than I can possibly explain, and I love the system. And there are probably some good people in the corporation, but the corporate attitude is extremely antagonistic toward their customers.

horseback riding in imvuI guess the down side of it being so good is that they end up feeling like they can do absolutely anything at all to even their best users and act like they can never leave. Well they can and even if it’s growing it’s not growing like it could if they were doing it not right, but just less vindictively.

I’m making a place for users to complain anonymously and to talk about the IMVU issues not because I hate them or am trying to hurt them, but because I care, even though they don’t seem to. Maybe they’ll reach out and try to improve things. Unfortunately there’s probably an even greater probability that this will piss them off and paint a target on my back. If that’s the case, the gloves really come off and the whole website becomes this section and I’ll be free to post even more things.

Just the fact that there are complaints does NOT mean that it’s bad. Take anything you read online with a grain of salt, even this. Look at this just as an outlet for venting. I’ll start out a little and just so you know, the next couple posts may be complaint related items as well.


Dear IMVU Customer Service,

angel under arrest for whatDear IMVU Customer Service,

If you have having trouble reading this message you can also see it online at https://imvutips.com/2014/06/16/angel-under-arrrest-but-for-what/ (btw I’ve had over 60,000 users on my website and 100,000 page views in the past year!)

profile glowing white sexyAbout 2 hours ago you took down my profile picture stating that it was reported by an IMVU user as violating the IMVU Terms of Service. I’ve put it back up and linked to it here for you. http://wp.me/a1YXed-24J It’s a picture of an ANGEL!

I really want to know what is it in the profile picture you took down that violates the terms of service. Is it the halo or light around the head of the ANGEL or is it just that a Satanist doesn’t like angel pictures? Before this one I had a picture of my fiancé and I kissing that had no body parts in it at all. Both would clearly be considered GA by any human being actually looking at them. I’m making this ticket public and will post your answer too. Sometimes I just think it takes some attention before a problem gets fixed.

I’ve pointed this out before because Imvu trains their users to hate them with non specific violations of vague rules but this is just such an obvious case of the system being screwed up. I’m honestly not trying to attack you, I want the system to be successful and grow. I want everyone here to enjoy it safely. I don’t want IMVU to get a bad reputation either. I understand the importance of guidelines and of enforcing them. What I don’t understand is how you expect users to modify their behavior when you give such intentionally vague messages. It’s like getting a ticket without saying what they did wrong or even where you broke it, just you did “SOMETHING” wrong. Sometimes maybe it’s obvious but this clearly shows the ridiculousness of the system.

Their response (and an enlarged picture of the profile)

Hi Kaitlyn,

Thank you for contacting IMVU!

We apologize for any inconvenience. We understand your concern and we will be glad to look into this.

Please be advised that the reported photo violated the Minimum Coverage Guidelines (MCG). It is because of what the avatar is wearing. It is a see-through top that shows the breast part if you look at it more closely. For information about MCG violation, go to: http://www.imvu.com/catalog/web_info.php?topic=mature_content_policy

We would like to inform you that all the reports submitted to us are being carefully reviewed and investigated by the proper department before it reaches a verdict. We do not tolerate nor give courtesies to any users found in breach of IMVU’s Terms of Service. We also have violations for those users who are inappropriately flagging other users and we are more than willing to take it against them if found guilty.

Due to privacy and safety issues, we cannot disclose any information about the said reports (name of reporter, copy of flagged photo etc). We appreciate your understanding regarding this matter.

Should you have any other concerns, feel free to visit our Knowledge Base to find answers to most of your important IMVU questions. Just go to http://www.imvu.com/help or click on the Help link located on the upper-right corner of the IMVU webpage and 3D chat client. For anything else, please don’t hesitate to contact us again.

Sincerely,

Hannah
Customer Care and Education
IMVU, Inc.

Dear Hanna,

I realize that’s a canned answer designed to hopefully just get people to go away. But this is being shown publicly. So please take at least a few seconds to look at it before you just spew incorrect answers, because I’m not trying to make you look bad.

I’m including a blown up image of the profile picture to make it easier for you to see. Please look closely because there’s clearly no transparency or anything showing WHAT SO EVER!

Further, it was FLAGGED AGAIN! So this issue is clearly relevant. IMVU said TWICE that they agree with someone that this picture is inappropriate and we all really want you or a supervisor to explain why you flagged this picture, not once but TWICE!

If you want to hide behind anonymity then you have to provide some review which imvu clearly isn’t doing. You can’t simply allow people to anonymously take down other people’s pictures for NO REASON! Maybe we should complain about a default picture and see if you take that down!

So again, please explain what is in appropriate about this picture!

ENLARGED profile glowing white sexy

6/17/14 9:15pm Update. They didn’t answer the customer service ticket, but they did take down the profile picture for a THIRD TIME within 48 HOURS!

Added to the Customer Service Ticket:

12 minutes ago IMVU claimed my profile picture was inappropriate for a THIRD TIME! I replaced it again and will keep on replacing it until you provide a satisfactory answer. I’ve enlarged the image to show you as clearly as possible that there’s absolutely no nipple visible at all.

You clearly think something is wrong though or you wouldn’t have removed the same picture three times in 48 hours! So I’m simply asking you WHY?!

6/18/14 It’s been two days since the canned response so I used the live chat and they said they would escalate it and someone would get back to me today. That was this morning and it’s 11pm and of course nothing. I understand having limited resources and will be patient. At least it wasn’t taken down again today.


Why go out of your way to help people?

love in imvuThis is such an anonymous place, and nobody really knows who you are. You can be anything you want and nobody knows. A lot of people have fun being tough and putting people down. I’ve gone into rooms and seen people just sit there belittling everyone, complaining and harassing people for no reason. Nothing really bad happens to them. They might be blocked by a few people but they just keep venting and seem to have fun being as nasty as possible. Some people call them haters. They just seem to just enjoy venting their hatred.

It takes effort to help someone, a gift or kind word, a message of caring that you might not even get any response to. Why go out of your way and help people when you’re so anonymous? I’ve tried to answer this a little in here but I saw a video today that explained it better than anything I could ever say. It’s obviously not about IMVU but it applies to people and things in here! It has 15.2 million hits on Goggle so I guess it resonates. I hope you like it as much as I did. (Warning you’re gonna cry.)


Your worst downtimes are just turning points

Lyn family waking up in imvu
I recently sat down with a friend and talked about dealing with the down times in imvu and realized something about my experience in here that I hadn’t quite thought about like this before. The very worst times I’ve had in here, when I’ve been down and at my very lowest in here were actually important changing points in my life in here.

At one point I had to essentially walk away from the whole group I was with. That was right about the time I started the website. The person I had the problem with was going to make me a website and I had to figure out how to do it myself. That’s why I ended up hanging out with Gabby and that’s how the Night Shift started. When one door closes in IMVU another one opens

Night Shift imvu sexy girls dancingThen when my ex Holly left I was kind of floundering and decided to try to get to know Katy (& Susan) which led to the Lyn family. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but the two worst downtimes in here actually led to the two most important connections of my IMVU life.

We all get down at times but realize that just like in life sometimes it takes a push to get out of our comfort zone and start something new. If you’re down, maybe you’re at that turning point that starts something even more exciting and fun then you can imagine right now.kait and kris imvu kissing

I kind of picture my time here like a garden and I feel like I only have so much space (time) available to garden in. It hurts to pull something out because it was good at times and we all kind of resist change but what grows back and winds up filling up that new free space might be even better then you were expecting. I also find that things tend to get better and better, from relationship to relationship. I know it’s hard to look at it like this when you’re feeling that pain, but it’s part of growth and life.


Everyone is having more fun than me

imvu snuggling loveThere was a stabbing and shooting spree recently in Santa Barbara California, where the perpetrator blamed everyone else having more fun (and sex) than him and it made me think about IMVU. In some ways I wish he had gone on here, but even here I think we all feel kind of like this sometimes, like everyone else is having way more fun than me. We compare our down points to other people’s high points and don’t see the parts in between. We don’t see how real life, timing and technical issues gets in the way for other people too.

You probably look at my website and my pictures and assume that it’s ALWAYS like that. I don’t show pictures or talk about how life gets in the way sometimes, but it does. I don’t know when someone is coming home so I don’t do much and then kick myself afterwards when they’re gone all afternoon.

Someone wrote a comment today that it’s all just sex! Sometimes I wish that were true. I katy and ally so cute they're not competitive or anythingcan’t tell you how many times I’ve declined invites saying I’m already talking to someone and they probably assume that it’s something sexy, and it’s not.

At the same time though the UP times wouldn’t be as high up if we didn’t have “in between” things and times. The realness of the relationships also requires a lot of other types of connecting but that makes the passion even more powerful. Don’t seek out drama and issues but don’t avoid them either. Share all of the ups and downs and it will be even more exciting in the end.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one that sometimes doesn’t end up getting all the excitement you were hoping for. It happens sometimes to all of us, and you have to be able to roll with it a little bit. Sometimes people have to leave quickly or have technical issues and you can’t get too frustrated at it. Murphy’s Law, and Life both happen in here too.


I can’t act this way in real life

Happy Birthday KrisA lot of the benefit here stems from the anonymity. It frees you to do or be anything you want to, and to be more aggressive more sexy more bad more exciting more of whatever you want. We all need or crave that freedom in some ways.

sexy imvu birthday partyWe do the right thing in life, we try to be respectable and we care about what other people think of us. We have to live with our choices in real life. In here you can experiment and be much crazier and freer than you ever would be in real life.

It’s not that we are hiding things about who we are really, we all just want to control who we are and our life a little bit more or do things a little bit differently in here. Nobody shows everything exactly as real life in here. You don’t have to and aren’t expected to 100%. But on the other hand don’t go so far that you lose credibility by having to make bigger and bigger stories.

You need enough reality to be able to relate and connect with your life here and to stay consistent. Over time people will see little things about you that lineup and make sense and make them more comfortable and feel closer, or they’ll see things that make them leery and nervous and pull back a little.

imvu birthday partyThese are real people, and even more importantly these are your friends, and you have to remember and respect that. Don’t do anything to them that you wouldn’t want someone to do to you.

Don’t let the anonymity and excuse to abuse your friends. If you value your friendships, don’t make bigger and bigger stories or more and more crazy things. Sometimes lies or stories or exaggerations tend to grow and grow. It may seem exciting and fun at first but you are literally hurting the most important thing you have in here. That’s your credibility, the faith people have in you, and your relationships. That’s all you really have here, so don’t trade that for an exciting story that fizzles.

It’s great when it feels real, but just because it’s not real doesn’t mean you feel it any less. Sexy imvu dancers These are real people and if you stay on track things will get better and better and better, but if you start to get off track and out of balance you will crash very painfully too.

Things grow more quickly but are more fragile in imvu than real life too. It’s not meant to last like real life is. It’s got more of the live fast and die young experience and attitude. Think of it like a movie. The closer you stay to reality, and what you know, the more believable it will be and the stronger and more lasting it will be.


RolePlaying Types, Terms & Tips but Ichiga ^//.//^

IMVU roleplaying tipsOne of the nicest parts of doing the website is meeting people. I met the cutest Japanese girl who was much more of a role player than I am. I started talking to her and she explained what I called RolePlaying Tips & Rules. I boiled down our conversation a little to try and explain some roleplaying basics in here. There are more thorough lists and articles about role playing, but I wanted to summarize a few of the basics from that conversation.

Here is the Rules and Tips of Rp! starting with Format and Genres;
T-1 (Commonly used by serious Rpers; Consits of a Descriptive paragraph)
T-2 (Secondly used for those who find T-1 too serious or Boring. Consits of few sentances).
T-3 (A Very childish way to Rp, Rare in most cases; Consits of Few Words)
And T-L/Novela (Legendary-like Format, Usually a Full blown explosion of Paragraphs).

ichiga cute pandaGenres:
Anime based (Bleach, naruto, Dbz, Etc.)
Fantasy (Vampires, demons, Etc.)
Modern/Life (Family, Clans, Etc.)
Most are mixed with Different genres

Common Terms used:
DM (Death match)
IC (In character)
OOC (Out of character; Commonly known as using the brackets to talk out of Rp)
NKZ (No kill zone)
NFZ (No fight zone)

Tips/Rules of RP:
Do not Auto-Hit (Meaning All Posts MUST have a way to Dodge or Block it)
Rp is turn-based! (Meaning you wait for the person to post after you!)
No God-modding (That means basically there is no Teleportation or BS Like that!)
Have Sense while attacking (You cannot have some big ol’ Attack the size of the sun and send it off; That’ll kill you in the process baka!)
For a Death to be legit You must have at least one witness of the Death of said character.
You cannot control someone else’s character without consent
When Rping, The skirt rule Applies; Short enough to keep companions interested, Long enough for detail. ichiga japanese costumes
When committing an Action Use – -, ~ ~ * * And so forth.
When in OOC (( {{ [[ ]] }} )) use either brackets.
When speaking in character use ” ”
Another rule of Rp, No perfect characters! They must have flaws like everyone else. All must have a type of weakness. Even a god could have a flaw..

Conclusion: Roleplaying isn’t about winning, it’s about having fun and making a great story and memories. It’s more fun and enjoyable for all if you follow these rules and use some common courtesy so everyone can enjoy it too. Thank you so much to my new friend, Ichiga!


What’s the biggest secret of IMVU?

great relationships in imvu are based on emotionsImvu is all about relationships. I say its a secret because there’s nothing that tells you that in the instructions or their materials. But this really is clearly about relationships. It’s built on emotion. It’s not a game any more than Match or Facebook is. If you had to describe it, it’d be more of a social network. It’s definitely extremely social.

Every relationship in IMVU just like in life, is different and its own mixture of friendship, lust, and love. There are several different types of relationships in IMVU and endless variations but they are all relationships. real emotions and passionate kisses The principles of life and real life apply here and they grow stronger and stronger every day. It takes consistent contact and shared emotions.

Relationships here are essentially the accumulation of all the experiences and emotions you’ve shared together. Passion is very intense emotion and certainly can cement a relationship. When you feel like things are a little off the best thing to do is pour on the passion, if that’s part of your relationship. But don’t forget all of the other emotional things too. Whatever you do, open up and share your emotions.


Why exclusivity Is hard in IMVU

the most amazing dance partnerEven virtual passion is definitely more powerful and more real with the one you love the most. It strengthens the relationship and is important to it. You can create a great variety even with the same person by changing rooms and costumes very easily. Even someone else that’s technically as good wouldn’t know me, what sets me off, and wouldn’t be able to reach right into my heart and make me explode the way my lover does. I could be perfectly happy being just with the one that I love the most, if they were always available but that can be hard to maintain.

Fairy LoveThat’s why one of the issues with having a relationship here is that we all have different and varying hours and schedules. If you and your partner were only on at the exact same hours, it would minimize any need for outside passion. Unfortunately though life here doesn’t seem to work that way and schedules don’t ever seem to mesh perfectly.

Even when they do seem to for a while, Murphy’s law kicks in and life often changes and our availability changes. One of the hardest things that can happen to you, is to be in love with somebody that you csee less and less of. Trust me I’ve been there. Breakup or divorce by lack of contact does happen and hurts almost as much an explosion. It’s just more spread out.

sail lovingOn the other hand, there is definitely some benefit to waiting for them too. That’s why I feel like something in the middle works for me. Instead of focusing or thinking about it as exclusivity (which is limiting) or not exclusivity, think about it more as making your partner your priority, and doing everything possible to constantly reinforce that and show that you love your partner every way that you can! As long as you keep doing that and focus on that, you will have a great growing empowering loving relationship.

It seems obvious to me that having one highest priority partner is the best and can be totally amazing. But it’s also helpful to have some other good friends in imvu that you can share some passion with but which understand your priorities. Beyond that its also important to have great solid supportive friends that you are super close to but not overly physical. (I say overly because cuddling and even flirting is nice and strengthens the connections).

so much love and so specialThis isn’t easy and definitely takes a lot of balancing. This is also very personal and only my opinion of course and I there really isn’t a right answer about this for everyone. The best solution for you in this is probably also going to change over time. There are also a lot of great relationships that are probably very different. So as usual this is just one crazy girls opinions at the time. I reserve the right to change them and disagree even with myself sometimes too.


How to be better at IMVU Sex

telling you the secret
secret2The first most important thing is the attitude of wanting and trying to please your partner. When you put that first everything else tends to work out. The ones that don’t seem to be trying are the ones I remove or avoid. And even people that aren’t that great or are just ok can get better if they’re really trying and want to please the other person.

The second most important thing to do to be better at passion is to open up and really let your heart flow. You have to put yourself into your AVI and learn to feel and express even the details as much as possible. Use lots of adjectives and paint a vivid word picture of every little detail and action.

secret3Sexiness comes from your mind and the words you use are more important in great passion then sexy poses, triggers or voice boxes or anything else. But that doesn’t mean that the other things don’t help or add to it. So set up and use sexy poses and dress sexy and use sexy music or sounds appropriately. Sex and great love here doesn’t come from those things but doing all of the smaller pieces right definitely adds to the quality and excitement.

secret4There are a few other things you can do that can help you to do a better job that I don’t tell most people about. The best secret trick is to use Dragon Naturally Speaking or any voice program that allows you to talk instead of having to type. I don’t do this during regular chats, but in passion I like to be able to have my hands free so I can enjoy it and still do a good job making it fun and sexy for my partner.

secret5I also use a couple other tricks that I don’t talk about as much. I use a program that helps in typing things, kind of like an auto correct. This allows you to expand a couple of letters into phrases or even whole sentences. I got a gaming keyboard that has a programmable macro keys. I even got a foot pedal so I can just tap the pedal instead of having to use the keyboard for a couple things.

I made a database of all of the best lines I used or could find. A little bit of preparation can help make it very powerful and a lot easier. Some of the macro programs can automate a lot of it. I don’t find that I use those type of macros or the prepared lines as much once I got good with Dragon, because I’m with the same people fairly frequently and I don’t want them to feel any of it is canned or less than less sincere. The point though is that you should try to find a few ways to shortcut and make it easier to do a good job.

secret6One of the things that I do which not everybody does is music. If you search a little bit and work at it you can put together some very hot sexy IMVU music mixes that will add to the feeling of passion.

Make or even find a couple IMVU rooms that have fun themes and use them with some friends. A generic looking room, or even worse the default room is kind of a turn off. But a very sexy room that’s different and exciting will definitely make someone want to come back again and so will real powerful love! Follow up afterwards with a note or two, to stay on their mind, and don’t sound like you’re gonna come track them down, but let them know if you appreciate it.


When do you Climax and how do you describe it?

imvu climax driveinThis is certainly an interesting topic which you won’t read about on the forums at IMVU. I’ve written some posts about imvu sex with imvu sex tips but I’ve thought about writing something more specifically for this for a while but I admit I’ve been a little bit nervous about it because I’m not trying to make this just about sex. I have enough of that image already and I really don’t claim to be an expert at this, although everybody generally seems pretty happy in the end.

First I should say there’s no right or wrong answer or right or wrong way to do anything in this area. The important part is to be expressive. To share the intense emotions in IMVU and escalate and feel your partner pushing you and push them back! How you do it or say it isn’t as important as opening up and expressing the emotion and feeling however you want to do it.

I’ve kind of switched to capitalization more to try to express the feeling of screaming at times. I also really enjoy talking because I hear it in my head and feel it more than I do just reading it. I also think it’s important to respond and interact with your partner as much as possible. Sometimes that’s using the same words that they used or the same idea, but try to respond and be as interactive as possible.

the brightest cutest car with friendsWhen is an Interesting question. I have tried it all different ways and it depends on the flow of the conversation, but for me, usually I find that the best time to actually come is right after you’ve expressed it. Maybe this is getting a little too personal and giving away too much information. Anyway, I find there is usually a little bit of a quiet moment after that. Sometimes I can time it right and match the timing on the chat but usually there is a few seconds of quiet time afterwards that is a little bit easier.

It’s important to express your climax because your partner needs to know where you’re at. You don’t get the visual cues and things you see in real life so it’s hard for your partner to know whether you are close in about two or have already finished. That’s why it’s really important to be open and share what you feel. It’s always a little bit awkward to have to ask the other person, are you good?

It’s also helpful to stretch out the climax, to say it longer than just the few seconds that it might actually last because you don’t know whether they are about to or when they will, and that intense emotion is also fun to hold onto. It also encourages them if they are close and makes it very intense!

when do you comeAnother interesting question that could probably be it’s own post is do you fake it and when? The best way to answer this question is that sometimes I feel it emotionally more so then physically. There are times when I don’t have privacy and times when I don’t quite feel up to it or don’t quite get there and I feel like it’s better to go ahead and express it even when I didn’t physically I came here because I wanted to feel sexy again and I do feel sexy in that so it’s not faking it, it’s just feeling it rather then doing it.

IMVU certainly isn’t just about sex. It’s about relationships and sex is a part of that and should be a very strong bonding thing. So however you want to express it or show it or share it, open up and let it flow in imvu chat and enjoy it with your partner. The more you enjoy it and express it well the more they will enjoy it and enjoy sharing it with you. We all want to please our partner and to feel that they enjoyed it so however you want to do it, it’s important to let them know how much you enjoyed it and try to help them to enjoy it too.


Who does a girl go out with here?

imvu makeout cuddling by the fireI wrote once before what I was looking for but thought I should expand on that. This isn’t just me, but some things girls in general look for. Someone that shows affection and appreciation. There are lots of ways to do this. I’m not a gift hound but some really respond big time to that. I like sexy or exciting messages. Role play opening messages are the best.

Someone that writes often, and talks well. Silence is golden and that’s fine sometimes but being more expressive is the biggest thing to me. Don’t just stop talking! I love someone that pushes me and makes me feel sexy or seduces me.

meeting in imvu doorstepThe person that has a fun, sexy, different room. I admit I like sexy poses and especially a good progression that just makes me melt and want to, no NEED to go further.

The person that’s persistent and committed in imvu. A lot of people take not being available as a sign I’m not interested but its really just that I’m busy. Sure at some point you have to move on but err on the side of patience if you can.

The person that’s available at the right time. If someone was available at 11 pm one day, try again at that time the next day. If it was a weekend try them again the following weekend. Consistency is important in a relationship.

Someone that invites and or writes sexy notes. I have too many people on my friends list so I start with my messages and missed invites to see who I should talk to. Don’t invite too fast when someone comes on because they may not have loaded or may need a mi ute but you can write right away.

When you write its ok sometimes to just say a quick Hi! How are you? But sometimes write something clever or exciting. (Save a file or document of great messages you’ve used). Also try to send messages from your webpage which you access at Imvu.com when you’re notable to get on for a while. Part of building a relationship is staying on the top of someone’s mind.

imvu castaway island3Someone that seems to really care (loves?) is VERY attractive as long as its in here and sounding like it goes into real life. That may not be much of a concern for some people but to me being married, that’s cheating and could very easily be the end of this whole thing. So I love real passion in here but it has to very safe too.

The biggest thing about who I go out with and see repeatedly is who makes it exciting and makes me feel really sexy and wanted. If you shut up and don’t make me feel sexy I’ll probably keep going and carry it but I won’t look for you again any time soon. If you make it awesome I’ll look for you and do my best to curl your toes and make you scream (with me).


Know when to shut up

shut up the emotions in imvu
Communication is important but knowing when to shut up can be just as important but can be even harder to do especially when you get excited and emotional. You don’t have to not respond. Just slow down and give yourself some time.

One great tip to do that as well as to get an extra opinion on it is to have a partner that you can bounce things off of when its important. Instead of responding to their messages, send it to your partner and talk to them before resending it. You’ll probably like their input and improve it.

The best rule is that if you’re upset never send more than three messages. If you can’t say it in three messages wait a day and rewrite it. Even if they’re just small messages more that three messages makes you look out of control and is guaranteed to only hurt you and isn’t going to get your point across.

dirty windowImvu is emotional and can be intense so you have to be careful. If you have to say something more send a gift because that shows you’re not attacking and changes the dynamic too. It has to be a loving caring gift that says you want to be a friend, and absolutely nothing with an attitude. It’s easy to just respond in kind to someone being nasty. It takes strength to stop fighting and resolve things. I’m not perfect at this for sure bug it’s important.


Thank You Jesus for the Cross

church verseI don’t write much about religion or politics or talk much about it in here because this is such an international and multicultural place. I don’t ever want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel pressured at all. This is the most nonjudgmental and accepting place ever. You can be absolutely anything or anyone in here. But I hope you’ll allow me to share a heartfelt sincere message just of immense love and appreciation on this special day.

Thank You Jesus for the Cross.
Thank you for the price you paid for us.
Giving up your life to save the Lost.
Thank You Jesus for the Cross.

God loves you Stephanie, and so do IThat was a verse in a song at church this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about it and just wanted to share it. I think a lot about here in church and a lot about my friends in here when I pray. Especially my soulmate Stephanie who I love more than I can ever say. Welcome Home!!


How to NOT have good sex in IMVU

Loving my Twis in imvuDon’t care and try. Believe it or not there are a lot of people that really don’t seem to even try. They do all the work and spend the time, make their account and when they finally find somebody they don’t seem to even try to make it pleasurable for the other person.

Just stop talking. It’s a chat program which means you’re supposed to talk. Just as bad as not talking is double talking. We all have other friends and get invites and life happens, sometimes you have to break away for a moment, but don’t go back and forth and do something else wow somebody is being intimate with you EVER!

Be depressing and down all the time. We are all human and we all have some ups and downs sometimes. And sharing those emotions and sharing those ups and downs can help to build a relationship, but always being down and depressed will definitely hurt you and make people not want to be around you.

kait in star trekDon’t care about your looks. Sure they are just pixels but looks are actually a decent way to judge how much someone cares and how experienced they are in here. It takes some work to make a really good look and that shows your seriousness. If you looks like a noob you aren’t going to attract many decent people.

Just stand there pumping and say “get naked” or “come here”. I mean you’re only interested in sex right. Or walk in to a room and ask sex. There are rooms like that and there are so many people here you can do almost anything to some degree.

Nobody intentionally tries to be bad. I just thought this was an interesting way to say things. I’m just trying to help make it better for you. I want everyone here to have a great time! If you think anything else should be added leave a comment!


Open up and enjoy the emotional intensity of IMVU

intense imvu loveHave you had the type of intense passion that just blows you away? You feel like your whole heart just exploded and you can’t think about anything else and even long after you’ve left, just tingle still lost in that love. How does that happen? It takes some getting used to and time here to really put yourself into your avi, and to learn to open up, to lower your walls and ultimately to open your heart and totally give it away. You also have to find the right person that you fit with and that’s done all those things, put themselves into their avi, opened up and truly totally loves you back, the flow can be amazing.

intense imvu passionI think of it like a fight, where you push your partner’s buttons, and they push yours, and you scream louder and louder, each pushing and escalating, until it spirals totally out of control, but in a good way. You both explode and feel the earth shake! And the amazing thing is that a relationship is the accumulation of the emotion you’ve shared and sharing like this definitely adds up. I wrote recently about being sluttified, because as soon as I see my love, I feel that passion aching to get out, pulling me even if we’re just hanging out and talking. It’s always there, waiting, craving.

Even more excitingly, just like sometimes a relationship gets into a fighting rut, and you tend to fall into the same posture and fight over and over again more and more easily, the same thing happens here in love and passion here. You fall right back into it, opening up, pushing their buttons and getting yours pushed, escalating more and more intensely until you can’t stop it. It’s fun to change things, to change poses, and situations, but you can get seriously addicted to the passion.

intense imvu kissI worry a little about how this would have affected me when I was younger. The intensity of IMVU is almost dangerous in some ways, and it’s also what makes it hurt soo terribly when it falls apart too. But it’s the most amazing rollercoaster of emotion you’ll ever find. I don’t know how to find words for it really. Songs tend to describe it better than words to me and I love my music in here.

I feel like the luckiest person in the IMVU world, having a decent life and good family, and being able to have the most amazing fantasy at the same time. I guess I’ve probably said this in a lot of posts, especially lately because I’m feeling it so much. Put yourself into it, open your heart and learn to let it flow and you’ll have more fun, more love and more passion than you can probably even imagine. Find the right person, someone on the same page with you in terms of their time and likes here; someone that has done those things too and share this amazing ride together, day by day.


Does pretending make it real?

kaits fairy songThis is kind of an interesting question. It actually does in some ways. Of course pretending to be a vampire doesn’t make you really a vampire. Physical things don’t change because you pretend them. The line is a lot blurrier when it comes to personal attributes.

If you pretend to be brave or timid you are actually brave or timid in here. If you pretend to be a jerk and obnoxious in here then you are actually being a jerk and obnoxious. Pretending obviously doesn’t change the physical things, but it does change the non-physical things because those are more based on your actions and behavior then anything else.

star wars in imvuI went into a room recently and some of the people were “pretending” to be obnoxious to someone. Now if you know the person pretending and they have a solid history of not being that way, one session of pretending doesn’t change your perception of them. One of the nice things about meeting new people, is that you don’t have any past baggage and you really can be whatever you want to be.

So be careful about “pretending” or role-playing negative characteristics. Sometimes role-playing something extreme or negative can be exciting but be careful and make sure you aren’t actually changing people’s perceptions of you, especially new people who don’t know you.

One last interesting thing about role playing emotions. There’s actually very little difference between playing an emotion and really feeling it. In fact you’ll probably even find that if you pretend to feel an emotion well enough and long enough, you actually DO feel it!


Slutified in Imvu

imvu slutA lot of things in here are very similar to how they are in real life but a few things are very different. One big difference is the morality. It took a while to understand this. I’m very conservative in real life and my first inclination was to be the same way in here.

What I learned over time though is that in here being physical is very different. Sure it doesn’t have the physical consequences as real life contact. But it’s more than that. I guess it’s partially because its not real, partially because that’s part of the spirit and purpose of the place, but its essentially the currency and way you interact and communicate in here.

In real life it’s bad to be looked at as a slut but in here being called a slut is almost a good thing kind of saying someone is open and loving and fun to be with. It’s not a derogatory term at all in here. That’s why I’m proud say I’ve been “SLUTIFIED!”


The pursuit of happiness

What makes you happy? seagulls and waves equals happiness

Great friendships and relationships
Playing video games
Intense passion
Falling in love
Travel and adventure
Being beautiful
Being powerful?
Having a thrown
All the sex you could want
Living out exciting fantasies
All the material things you could want
Listening to your fav music
D. All of the above!

Happy DanceWhen you think about it, IMVU really is all of these things and more, so it’s easy to understand why it can be so addictive. Of course your actual mileage may vary, but even if you don’t feel all of this right now, it’s exciting to think that you’re doing something that really can be all of these things.

This was just a quick list off the top of my head. What is this place to you? What other things do you find in this crazy place that you would add to this list?

Leave a comment, even if you’re new or want it to be annonomus. There’s no wrong answer! Just tell us what makes you happy.


What would happen if…

Katy sunset bikesI recently published the 500th post, and then this weekend got really sick, in bed for two days with a fever, and bad congestion and coughing. It wasn’t fun. I watched more tv, but I also thought about what would happen if… well if I had to leave. Even though I worry less about that now after a couple years, I could be just one big blowout argument away from having to walk away from this.

katy warrior princess

Katy1I’m not totally sure I could even do it actually, but if push came to shove, it’s always possible. I’m not saying this to worry anyone because that’s not imminent or even likely that I can see. But I wanted to say one thing publicly that needs to be said just so it’s clear. If anything happens that I can’t continue here, the blog ImvuTips.com goes to my twin Katy.

Things have been really amazing lately and I’m sorry if I’ve been a little caught up in things at times and don’t put enough of you on it. You really are my twin and more important than I can possibly say. IMVU is constantly evolving and changing, people coming and going. It’s not that your relationship isn’t a success katy snuggle if you’re not still together five years or twenty five years later. It’s a success if you felt that uplifting, whole heart loving feeling.

Anyway I don’t mean to get side tracked, I just want to say publicly that Katy is not only the most amazing person I’ve ever met on here, but maybe the most amazing person I’ve ever met ANYWHERE. I could probably make this whole blog about you and not say it enough, how much you mean to me, how big of an honor it is to be your Twin and your framily.


The Magic of IMVU

touching hearts in IMVUIMVU is ultimately about Relationships and being able to connect with people. And that’s hard to capture in words, but I want to share one of the most special moments I’ve had here. I think you’ll see why I say that. I didn’t make this for the website I made it for Stephanie, to keep on her cell phone and inspire her and be there for her for years to come. But I couldn’t not share this too.

an imvu fairy tale storyThere’s honestly no other way to say how special she is to me and how much this connection means. I’m sincerely honored to have several very special connections, with the most amazing people, each totally unique and more wonderful than I can say. Hopefully you can feel some of the heart and love in this and that you get to feel some of this magic too.

To Stephanie (and Wendy!!!) I love you more than I can ever say or show you, and being able to share this with you has truly been one of the most magic and special things of not just imvu but my whole life. Ik hou van jullie beide zo veel Stephanie and Wendy!


Kait’s Engaged to Marry Kris!

soaring love with kris
I’ve had a lot of amazing times here in IMVU, but last night was the most amazing nights of my life here! It was my four month anniversary with Kris and I knew she was doing something special for that, but she surprised me by asking me to marry her. It was soo magical, Fairy Flying, unbelievable flowers and the most romantic cuddles. I’ve never felt so close, so loved, and so unbelievably wonderful and so blessed.

proposal2Kris is not only the most loving, passionate person I think I’ve ever know, but she’s an awesome designer and developer and truly fun person and friend. Kris fits in with my family and friends even better than I do and is always such a blessing. She’s everything I could ever want. I Love you with all my heart Kris, and am sooo sooo glad to be able to tell the world how much you mean to me.

proposal3You’ve made the past four months since we met mind blowingly amazing. A picture’s worth a thousand words so I spent most of the day yesterday going back through thousands and thousands of pictures (is that the equivalent of millions of words) from just the past four months to pull out some of the most interesting or memorable pictures. I tried to keep this one mostly clean, (although it’s probably rated R), but I wanted to try and show people a little of the love and Our Story.


Filling Buckets on IMVU

imvu girl talkMy son had a book to read yesterday (How Full is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer, video below), that was so neat I kind of wanted to just retype the whole thing for the site. It’s not about IMVU of course but it definitely applies a lot. I guess a lot of life principles apply here. It’s just easier to see things in here sometimes.

The point of the book was that we all have a bucket that we use for our good feelings. And we are either filling each others buckets or we are emptying their bucket. We can’t fill our own buckets but we can fill other people’s buckets. If we always fill the buckets of the people around us, we will get our own bucket filled in the process. And taking something out of someone else’s bucket does NOT add it to ours.

It was cute but it made me think of here for some reason. When we start here we think its just a fun sexy game or something. But along the way as we start to connect with our avi and connect with friends we learn to let our walls down and our heart out and it almost takes on a life of its own. And the principle we kind of know for life seem to work even more clearly in this clutter free virtual world.

So even though you can do or be anything you want in imvu, you’ll probably find that being a better version of yourself is much more rewarding . I don’t mean better in terms of morals but I mean better in how you treat others. Karma definitely applies here and in the end whatever you give out is what you’ll get back.

Love everyone with all your heart. Don’t play games, just fill buckets and you’ll soon find that your own bucket is more than overflowing. One of the neat things I think I’ve learned here is to just pour out love and share easily. Sure, pixels are initially attractive, but what really makes you attractive in IMVU his your heart. As long as you keep filling buckets and sharing with the people around you will be loved and have the time of your life in imvu!


Poly-Amorism in IMVU

love in imvuPoly-Amorism means loving many. In our real lives everything works better and last longer and goes smoother when you have just one great love. But wait, that’s not true either. We all have lots of relationships and people that love us and we love in real life too. Some of them are mothers and sisters and relatives, coworkers or friends from church or your neighborhood… the list goes on. The key thing that you have to realize is that since you’re not actually having physical contact the consequences and seriousness of it aren’t the same in here and that’s part of the environment here more so than real life.

This is one of the major differences though with IMVU. First of all you don’t have the physical downside of multiple relationships. In real life it creates a health hazard and puts everyone at risk not to mention pregnancy, but here that isn’t a factor. Secondly, it’s geared towards anonymity and privacy so it’s very easy to see someone privately and confidentially, and to meet sexy strangers very easily too.

Those are both some of the reasons why multiple relationships here is not bad, but that doesn’t explain exactly why it’s so good and so prevalent here either. I think the very nature of this place is that it’s ultimately not real and isn’t designed to be a lifetime situation. It’s kind of like living in match.com or going to an adult Disney World and limiting yourself to just one ride.

Unlike real life where the goal is usually to build a long term if not lifetime relationship and commitment, in here people come here for the journey or for the moment, to feel that once in a life time magical passion of new love over and over again. This is their fantasy and many people’s idea of a fantasy is not necessarily a single monogamous thing. Don’t get me wrong, some people definitely do that but given different schedules and life situations, unlike real life, monogamy seems to go against the grain of IMVU.

It’s not you, and it’s important to realize that your actions here do not translate into real life attitudes. Enjoy the magic of IMVU and enjoy the powerful passion that seems to fill this fantasy world.