What do you do when someone attacks you?

Loving in your armsThis next thing is kind of a little bit tricky to talk about. I’m not trying to give anyone a hard time, but I think there are some lessons and things I can see and learn from my experience here recently which might help someone at some point. So I wanted to explain a little bit of it. But I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining because I’m really not.

just having a little funIf you don’t want to read the whole thing here are the lessons I see in it. No matter what you do, sometimes things go wrong and get out of hand. Criticizing how someone loves is tricky and difficult to do at best and you never just interrupt them to tell them you’re doing it wrong. When you make a mistake or say something wrong, you don’t make it better by lying about them and calling them names and attacking the other person. You really can’t do much in here to hurt someone so being angry really only hurts you more than the other person.

Finally the most important thing, and reason I felt I should write about this, is to say that no matter what happens, the only way to win a fight with someone who seems to want to fight, is to respond the opposite way you feel at the time, and LOVE the person behind the screen regardless of the situation.

hot imvu dancingHeres what happened… My ex wife Holly and I wanted to go explore someplace fun and spend some time together. So I searched on a sexy word and picked an empty room with a Four star rating, that sounded fun. We were starting to enjoy it together when another long time very loving friend came in and joined us. It was going great and then a fourth person we didn’t know came in and didn’t say anything, just sat watching for a few minutes.

The first thing the person said was that I suck at role playing because I was doing it wrong. I was writing two or three short lines between their posts. In a traditional role playing style you do alternate and write one big long line rather than frequent short lines. But if you’ve ever been passionate with that style writer it tends to be slow and sometimes descriptive but I find that slow long lines come across as much less emotional.

Be a PepperPeople just don’t talk in long flowing sentences when they’re having sex. I can do that but i think short phrases are easier to read and get that breathless panting feel. The longer T1 style is better for combat but I don’t think that style creates as much passion and momentum when you cyber. I would never criticize someone or dream of telling them they’re wrong or complaining about them in the middle of it. I’m happy if my partner talks at all actually, and generally the more the better.

So anyway, I said that it was rude to walk in to a room designed for cyber and start criticizing the people that were there before you just because you don’t like their style. I asked her to shut up or leave and she called me a noob and booted me, and then went on to call me all kind of dumb names to my friends.

just a backrubIt ruined the mood and upset me that someone would be so rude and arrogant. So I sent a message to a dozen people asking them to go to the room and rate it one star. The next day it was three stars. I then got a nasty message from the person so I blocked her and the room owner. But she had other friends write me with stupid threats and posted stupid comments on her blog (which has like three posts and even fewer readers). she even threaten to get me banned and continued calling me several names, the only one I’d repeat here is a noob.

I could mention her name and include the stupid things she said to make her look bad, and sure I know a few people in the company and a few hackers too. But that’s not the way to deal with people angry at you in here. The only good way to deal with issues in here is with love. I wrote a post about a giving a white rose to someone upset at you, about a year ago and figured that was the right way to respond in this too.

fun dancing in imvuSo instead of responding to her anger and calling her names and trying to hurt her I’m sending her and the room owner 2500 credits each and a nice note. I can’t send a regular note and gift because I’m blocked which is fine with me, but I can still send them credits, (which is a cool way to get a message to someone that’s blocked you by the way). If she still wants to be angry she can but I’ll know that I did everything I could to end it nicely and love her, rather than just out bitch her.

So like I said earlier, no matter what happens, the only way to win a fight with someone who seems to want to fight, is to respond with LOVE. Love the person behind the screen regardless of the situation. Oh and don’t let your real life info get out because then they probably could hurt you.

6 responses

  1. That’s a wonderful post. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to write, but yes, its amazing how easy drama can escalate, and I totally agree with you 110%. I’m so proud of you.

    ________________________________

    August 19, 2013 at 11:54 am

  2. Reads volumes about your character. Must have been really hard for you. Especially since you wrote the book, errr post, on role play!

    August 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm

  3. Oh I’m not the queen of role play. There are some people that are totally into it. I enjoy it and like the excitement of role playing but we weren’t role playing at all. I wasn’t playing a character. I was just being loving with two very special people that I have loved for years and are both very important people to me. I wasn’t playing any character, just trying to be open with my heart and feelings.

    It is crazy how things escalate out of control. And its not how bad you can trash someone that makes you bigger or stronger. I’ve been trying to look at crisis’ as opportunities to show how much I love the other person. It’s hard at the time I admit, but if you wait a little it’s easier to stop and respond in LOVE rather than anger.

    August 19, 2013 at 7:10 pm

  4. Did you ever think she was jealous that she couldn’t do it as well as you?

    September 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    • No, not in the slightest. Because she was every bit as good if not better than me. Besides it’s really the connection that matters most. It’s not how good you type or how well you write that matters. It’s purely emotions.

      September 4, 2013 at 5:28 pm

  5. Pingback: Why go out of your way to help people? | Kaitlyn's IMVU Tips

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