Don’t read too much into the lack of something

flying with LoveI’ve noticed something recently, that it is often very easy to assume something negative not based on someone’s actions, but the perceived lack of action. If someone does something that rubs you the wrong way, or upsets you, you need to communicate more before you get upset.

It is especially important not to assume the worst about the lack of action. It is very easy to be distracted in here between all of the soap operas going on and our real life issues. This makes it very easy to overlook something or someone, but that is NOT the same thing as DOING something to hurt them.sunny beach in imvu

So many things happen in here and the emotions get pretty intense. You have to be so careful about so many things and you’ll probably still hurt someone’s feelings sometimes. If you start assuming negative things about your friend’s lack of action or attention, you will soon be upset at everyone and make yourself miserable. This is especially true of people you love. Part of loving them means giving them the benefit of the doubt and not being overly critical.

6 responses

  1. That’s super important advice! I see that so much. Our imaginations have a habit of so often imagining the worst!

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    July 29, 2013 at 12:24 am

  2. Yeah and it’s hard enough making sure you don’t do something that offends someone. It’s impossible to not, not do things, too. I’m not sure that makes sense, but when you start to feel offended by a lack of something, just realize that, that is almost always just your imagination. If you go talk to them you’ll almost certainly resolve it, and do it before it eats you up and hurts your relationship.

    July 29, 2013 at 4:10 am

  3. Sheri

    I have seen a lot of that and lately I have been on the recieving side of it I understand it but it still hurts when some one you just met an befriended tells you shes busy and that she will contact you when shes not busy and she made it sound like dont call me i will call you and that was 2 weeks ago or someone who wont answer your messages I do understand life is so busy but it still hurts

    July 29, 2013 at 10:05 am

    • This is the type of thing I was talking about though. I don’t invite that many people, because I tend to go from thing to thing and end up being more reactive than proactive. I try to put my location on when I’m dancing with family in the club so people can see that but it’s always a compliment to get an invite. But you have to realize that part of it is just luck, catching people when they’re not busy. Just because someone doesn’t invite you doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be happy to see you. If you are starting to feel like they’re not responding, send a note or invite. (a combination of the two works best). Do NOT let it start to get to you like this, do something and communicate in a positive loving way.

      Oh and never start out by trying to make people feel guilty about not seeing you enough. Once in a while a guy would do this to me, and it makes me want to leave and feel unattracted rather than attracted to them. It’s kind of like the “boring” approach. Don’t say you’re bored when you first start talking to someone. Use a different word and try to sound interesting not boring. Sorry getting off topic, lol

      July 29, 2013 at 10:40 am

  4. ugh, yes, i hate the guilt trip thing. it makes me so not want to see that person again. they should know i feel plenty guilty already without their help. i do try to send a message to every missed invite. and i am really bad at inviting people tho i have tried being more proactive about it recently. just always so busy, so i guess its good that i’ve tried to simplify my life a little…

    August 19, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    • I try to reply to missed invites too, but some days just never get to it. Simple sounds nice!!

      August 19, 2013 at 7:14 pm

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