Men are more visual and women are more verbal
I read this in a relationship book recently. It seemed true and interesting when you look at behavior in imvu too. Men do seem more visually oriented (male strippers are rare) and I think flip side is true too. Women like to be appreciated more for their looks more than men. I think that comes from biology since in order to do much, men need to be attracted and women need to be able to attract them. Women also like to get love notes and read romance novels more than men. I also thought about how it relates to my activities in imvu and I have to admit I like to talk during sex. Ok, I admit I talk a LOT during sex. It helps me to feel it more. And it’s what the guy says that turns me on, more than any certain look. OK, looking at some things is definitely fun and helps too, don’t get me wrong. ~blushing~
For guys, the good news is that it’s what you say that makes you sexy or not, more than anything else. On the other hand, the bad news is that it’s also what you say that makes you sexy or not too. That means if you want women to give you what you want visually, give them what they want verbally. Talk more! Romantic appreciative and caring things work the best. But even general conversation, not talking about anything special or leading, helps make a girl feel better and enjoy spending time with you. Even if you think of yourself as the strong silent type, open up and ramble a little. It’ll almost certainly get you further in terms of a relationship and having fun here than being more quiet.
I also think that guys tend to come in to a room and look around and decide what to do or who to talk to, where women tend to come in and chat and flirt a little and need to talk a little first before doing too much. The differences are subtle but women do need to talk more, whether it’s bantering with girl friends at the real life water cooler or dancing in imvu or cuddling afterwards. (I love my kids but some days I just crave adult conversation.) There are also times that I only want to talk (or shop). Maybe it’s a function of the guys I know but they don’t usually want to just talk and they hate to shop.
Please understand though, that this is just overall generalities and does NOT prove anything at all on an individual basis. One of my best friends said she was visually oriented, and asked if that meant she was a guy and the answer is clearly no. But if you’re trying to attract guys in general being visually attractive certainly helps. And if you’re trying to attract girls, talking and communicating well (being attractive internally) definitely helps.