An IMVU Conversation about what girls look for.

what imvu girls want
Did you ever wish you could be a fly on the wall listening to the private conversations about what IMVU girls look for? This was totally unplanned but I talk about a lot of stuff with my girlfriends and this wound up being such an interesting discussion I thought I’d just keep it in conversation form. I took off a little bit of pleasantry up front and edited one or two typos. I added a link or two, to posts that I’ve written about those topics, too, but other than a word or two, this is just a candid conversation about what women look for.

My friend mentioned an interview process which intrigued me and started the conversation. I cut it off when it turned to talking about specific people and things. Who the conversation was with isn’t important but she is gorgeous and has been here for several years. She’s been here quite a bit longer than me and I enjoyed hearing some of the same things I’ve found and learned from it too. And lets continue the conversation if it sparks any thoughts back to you.

Click the title, the picture above, or here to see the full conversation…

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i come on here to unwind

Kaitlyn: yeah it’s a fun escape

Good-friend-of-Kaits: my relationships are very real but i find that people treat each other more disrespectfully than in rl

Good-friend-of-Kaits: less consequence i guess

Kaitlyn: really?

Kaitlyn: in here you mean?

Kaitlyn: they are more free, and some guys can be kind of single minded.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: ive been here quite a while so i try extra hard to be nice to people i find genuine

Kaitlyn: but I don’t get too much of that feeling in here.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: giggles

Kaitlyn: but it’s probably a good group of friends to some degree.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: most guys are clueless in a lot of ways.

Kaitlyn: I do have great friends

Good-friend-of-Kaits: me too

Kaitlyn: Unfortunately most guys idea of RP is ordering me to take off my clothes

Good-friend-of-Kaits: guys want me to teach them then sit back and say nothing

Kaitlyn: heheee…

Kaitlyn: yeah I wrote about guys needing to try to talk more just the other day.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: or expect me to be a slave right off the bat

Kaitlyn: but I have to say

Kaitlyn: The guy I had a heart to heart with about talking

Kaitlyn: did take it to heart and made a big improvement.

Good-friend-of-KaitsGood-friend-of-Kaits Whisper: thats cool

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i have a few guys ive "shaped"

Good-friend-of-Kaits: they can learn but many are limited to two step tasks

Good-friend-of-Kaits: lol

Good-friend-of-Kaits: lick it, fuck it

Kaitlyn: hehee….

Kaitlyn: well sometimes that’s ok.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: giggles

Good-friend-of-Kaits: theres those times…

Kaitlyn: but it’s also so easy to stand out too.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i interview a lot and i look for certain things from guys

Good-friend-of-Kaits: makes it easier to weed through them

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i play a lot but not with everyone

Kaitlyn: you interview them?

Kaitlyn: how do you select??

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i interview about 30-40 per day until i get sick of them

Kaitlyn: oh wow.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i have certain things- an introduction is always good to start

Good-friend-of-Kaits: most guys dont even do that

Kaitlyn: yeah…. I watch who’s talking

Good-friend-of-Kaits: then i like seeing if they can start a conversation’

Kaitlyn: if they’re talking they will probably be able to talk more and be better.

Kaitlyn: even if they don’t talk to me.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: talking is good

Kaitlyn: I look for older guys too,

Kaitlyn: more experience here.

Kaitlyn: interesting profile things.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: yes, older guys are more experienced and easy to get along with

Kaitlyn: you have to be careful with guys in the middle east too.

Kaitlyn: but older is hard to tell cause half the older guys lie.

Kaitlyn: everyone’s not 20.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: middle eastern guys are usually very disrespectful

Good-friend-of-Kaits: although i enjoy this roleplay

Kaitlyn: yeah this room and your harem fantasy are neat!

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i avoid gangsters

Kaitlyn: I don’t rule guys out for that but just use it as a flag.

Kaitlyn: I don’t see many gangsters

Kaitlyn: what other things do you look for in your interviews?

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i like it black but i dont like it too rude

Kaitlyn: Do you tell them you’re interviewing them for your GF?

Good-friend-of-Kaits: seduction is always a good way to get in my panties

Good-friend-of-Kaits: no for me

Kaitlyn: I don’t mind black, but too much ebonics sounds so ignorant it kind of gets to me.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i dont tell them im interviewing

Kaitlyn: oh ok :)

Good-friend-of-Kaits: it puts them off and too much pressure

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i look for creativity

Kaitlyn: Yeah, I’ve learned another question that i sometimes use

Kaitlyn: instead of my usual one about fav rp fantasy.

Kaitlyn: that puts them on the spot too much

Kaitlyn: they’re afraid to say the wrong thing a lot

Kaitlyn: so I ask what is your most fun or exciting costume.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i look for guys who share their imvu fantasies first

Kaitlyn: they usually like to show that

Kaitlyn: and it tells you ;)

Good-friend-of-Kaits: and are looking for a playmate

Kaitlyn: that’s a nice way to say it.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: thats a good question

Kaitlyn: guys with good (vivid) fantasies and looking for a playmate.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: asking about my fav role without sharing first usually puts me off

Kaitlyn: I look for something in their profile.

Kaitlyn: kind of a neg for the guys that don’t list anything at all.

Kaitlyn: like we’re going to somehow use that against them or something.

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i love new fantasies and i love fulfilling fetish requests

Kaitlyn: me too!

Kaitlyn: Sometimes I send them to my website fantasy section if they don’t understand what that is.

Kaitlyn: but it can take to long or get to engrossing

Good-friend-of-Kaits: and i HATE guys who get off but are too embaressed to tell me and just leave

Good-friend-of-Kaits: i like hearing they shot it across the room for me

Kaitlyn: I only hate that if they do it really fast before done or able to finish.

Kaitlyn: heheeee

Kaitlyn: yeah much better!

Kaitlyn: Hold on I have to get something to clean the ceiling with after that baby, lol

Good-friend-of-Kaits: they want me to put out , they can at least be grateful and tell me

Good-friend-of-Kaits: and i hate when they’re too shy to ask for what they really want

Kaitlyn: and then they either want you to be their slave or gf for life

Kaitlyn: or they act like they don’t even care what you think or want anything else.

Kaitlyn: It’s OK, I just like something in between.

It went on to talk about other things, but I thought that overhearing that frank conversation would be helpful or interesting. Don’t be upset that girls are evaluating guys, that’s the process. And if you embrace that and try to learn the right answers you’ll have much more fun. It also doesn’t take much to stand out from most of the clueless guys. That’s what I’m trying to do here, to help you get better at the game and have even more fun. You can stumble into things here but this will make you a better hunter :) Besides by reading this, that says you’re probably already ahead of most guys.

Add your two cents here on this. A lot of girls probably have a few slightly different things they look for and guys may have interesting stories or thoughts about this too. Many of them might not seem that finicky but it’s all part of the dance, and part of the fun.

4 responses

  1. quidlyn

    this is such a good question. the interview process is interesting. to be honest i don’t like judging people, so i’ll chat with whoever invites me who isn’t an jerk (well if i’m not busy i guess). i guess one rule i use these days is a 3 date rule, so any guy willing to wait for the third date tends to be a cut above. though these days i’m so busy i unfortunately dont have much time to miss new people. which is sort of a shame.

    but in terms of what i like, i like genuine, i like creative, i like considerate, i like someone who takes charge, who isn’t passive, i like generous, i like smart, i like interesting, i like compliments. i like mature.

    the worst are rude people. disrespectful. people that are silent. people who say they’re bored. guys who poof right after they finish (sigh, so sue me, i like to cuddle). people who ask me to be their gf 10 seconds after meeting them.

    test questions…
    why did you randomly invite me?
    what kind of hobbies/interests.. what do you do in your spare time (i find it crazy that most guys answer “nothing” NOTHING?)

    i like your costume question
    “also doesn’t take much to stand out from most of the clueless guys.”
    which is so true.
    it’s sad because every single girl i’ve been with has been miles better than all but a handful of very special guys. though I suppose that’s a bit unfair since almsot all the girls have been your friends.

    February 20, 2012 at 11:29 pm

  2. OK i have to agree that I do have good friends, but it amazing how easily you slid right in and became such a great friend, not just to me but just about everyone. I guess this post sounded like an interview but it wasn’t. It was just a conversation, but it wound up having such good honest advice I had to use it. Maybe I was just being lazy cause I didn’t have to write as much that way.

    The three date rule makes me think of Tom Likus’ three date rule which I hate so I won’t go there. But your likes and dislikes sound right on. I do take random invites sometimes but I admit it’s harder to catch me not talking to people than it used to be.

    Its nit that women (or men) are interviewing exactly but we are all evaluating whether to invest more time in a room or conversation. When you go to a webpage you are deciding in the first 6 seconds if this seems like a possibility for what you were looking for. Thats because there are so many options just a click away, so they have to be even more competitive than brick and mortar stores where you have fewer choices. And the same is true for rooms and people here.

    You have more options so you have to learn how to prioritize or decide. Some times things just evolve totally randomly. I log in sometimes totally unsure what I’ll do tonight (which is why it can be a good idea to invite people when they first arrive) So it’s not so much a question of judging people as much as it is just prioritizing I think.

    Anyway there is so much to talk about here.


    February 21, 2012 at 9:57 pm

  3. quidlyn

    i agree about the prioritizing. and yes, agreed about inviting first thing. though its too often the case that i get 2 or 3 invites (or one time 7) right away, and i feel bad because i normally just accept the 1st one. and have to decline the rest.

    February 22, 2012 at 10:29 am

  4. Ok, so i doubt you’ll respond to this (seeing how the last comment was made in Feb, 2012) but i would like to be the first guy to comment (from what I’ve seen) thanking you for the “For Guys” section. This actually helps alot, both in IMVU and otherwise (some of this i know, and apply to real life- with plenty of success). That’s about all i’ve got. I wil be sure to favorite this and keep looking at it :P
    Again.. Thanks!

    June 19, 2013 at 3:25 am

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