Setting ground rules

dancing with a foxxy friendA new friend (Girl7770) made an important point the other day, about setting ground rules. There are so many different types of relationships in here and a much wider broader range of what’s acceptable than anything in real life. You’ll want to make sure you are compatible in several areas, such as whether you could ever take anything off of here and have real life potential, the level of communication, both in terms of the amount of time and what things if any beyond IMVU would be acceptable. Time zones and the amount of time and times of day you intend to commit are considerations, because there’s nothing harder than being committed to someone that’s not around or is only available at a time you can’t be here.

The other big area that you need to make sure you’re on the same page with is your exclusivity. First of all, this isn’t real life and seeing other people here may not be cheating at all, and in any case isn’t really the same thing as doing it in real life. Exclusivity goes against the grain of IMVU. It’s not that it’s impossible but it’s harder to do in here than real life. It’s like limiting yourself to one ride in Disney World. There is temptation around every corner. Also be aware that your partner probably needs some time away with other friends, to be really healthy and happy too.

There are a variety of ways that people handle it. Some couples make a list of acceptable partners that the other can play with, or a list they can’t play with. Some say it’s OK to do when the other is on and some say only when the other is off. Some people limit themselves to no orgasm, no penetration, or just about any variation you can dream up, someone is probably doing that. The point is that you have to understand what your expectations and behavior should be. This should certainly be a much bigger post with a better break down and maybe even a survey too.

The trick to making a relationship work here (as in real life) is communication. Also realize that things change and evolve in here so this may be something you’ll have to revisit. And if your partner’s doing something that’s not comfortable for you, you have to talk about it. To keep it bottled up until it blows up is even worse. And please don’t attack them for breaking the rules if they don’t know them. From personal experience that is really not fair. Relationships are what this place is all about and can be absolutely awesome, but they require even more communication than they do in real life.

3 responses

  1. My friend Foxxy in the picture doesn’t really relate to the point of the post but she is awesome at rules, lol.

    Also sorry I haven’t posted as much this week, I’ve had bad computer problems, had to buy a new laptop and then a few days later had to return it and start over again. But hopefully it’s working and with a few more programs and setup will work even better than before.

    Kait…

    January 8, 2012 at 1:27 am

  2. rochelle

    very well written :) glad you did this

    January 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

  3. Pingback: Exclusivity in IMVU « Kaitlyn's IMVU Tips

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