Quality Communication
How much real quality communication do you get in your real life? I don’t want to say anything negative about anyone in my real life because I really am very happily married, coming up on 10 years in July. But I think it’s safe to say that I get more quality communication time with my best friends in here than most people do with the people they’re closest to in their “real life.”
I’ve been saying that I’m closer to my very best friend Gabby than anyone in imvu or real life for a little while, and a part of me felt kind of guilty saying that or like I must have a pretty pathetic life. And I do admit its kind if boring or quiet in some ways it’s not because my real life is bad. It’s because of the amount of quality time and heart felt emotion that we’ve shared. I am around people but often don’t share as much from the heart in real life. Sometimes it seems like that’s all we do in here.
It’s also hard to explain the level of love and intimacy I share with my best friends in here. It can be amazingly intimate just dancing or cuddling with friends. It’s not about poses or sexy looks, although clothes can certainly be fun to play with. It’s about the unbelievable connection, loving each other so thoroughly in the most amazing heart felt way.
I don’t mean to generalize too much but the people that don’t tend to get this tend to be guys. And if they like sex best, they don’t tend to get how important “talking with my friends” is for me, or how that can be as intimate as great sex in here.
So to all the guys that I have to decline cause I’m dancing with friends I’m sorry. I could invite you in some time, but I have to warn you that it takes some time to get that open and appreciate the closeness and intimacy.
Guys don’t assume too much
I’ve said before not to ask for pics or webcam when you first meet someone, but even more than that, don’t assume because you are intimate that she wants to be intimate with you constantly because she did one time. Don’t assume because she played your love slave she wants to be your love slave permanently. And don’t ask her to be your girlfriend after one conversation or encounter.
It would be rude to say after being intimate with someone that they weren’t that great or that they weren’t anything special. It’s also equally wrong for a guy to immediately assume they are the best she’s ever had too or that she wants to do more than what you just did. If you want more you have to MAKE her want more. Send notes and or gifts and make her want to please you, share some of your heart but not all of it, and make it fun with sexy creative rooms, and make her laugh.
Don’t ask her to be your slave, make her want to be your IMVU slave. Everything here is voluntary and they can disappear and block you with a click. The only thing you have to keep even someone you’re married or committed to in here is your love and making them want to stay. Don’t ever stop making them want to stay or the whirlwind of IMVU will start pulling them away.
What to do for Valentine’s Day on IMVU
Valentines Day and any holiday really, is a good excuse to say hello to friends on IMVU that you don’t get to talk to as much. Start with a simple message mentioning that you haven’t talked in a while and go through your list. Adjust the message slightly if possible.
Sending big long flowing messages that tell them to send it to all their friends are only marginally helpful. A small more relevant message you wrote specifically for them or that looks like you wrote for them, can mean more.
You don’t have to send everyone an IMVU Gift. But you should send some special friends something. It’s not that they need things. But it adds importance and weight to your message. You can just send a 200 credit card if you don’t have many credits. (where else can you get a card for the equivalent of about 10 cents)
It’s not the amount that matters but the relevance and thought behind it that people do appreciate. Remember you’re dealing with people and the emotions here are real, even if the place is virtual. So use Valentine’s day as an excuse to spread some love, and to say hello to people you haven’t had a chance to talk to recently. Enjoy it and have a very Happy Valentine’s Day sharing that love and spirit with your friends.
Making the most Amazing Friends
Just like the way a blind persons other senses become even more sensitive to make up for it, in IMVU you can’t see the physical and there is no little things to get in the way, so you get better at sensing the non physical. I call this IMVU vision. It’s almost impossible for someone who hasn’t been here for a while and experienced it to understand I know.
You can’t see with your eyes so you have to learn to feel with your heart. I think that’s why we sometimes feel such a powerful deep connection and I even say this place proves there is a soul. These pretty pixels and words can get pretty powerful, to the point that I feel closer to friends in here than I do in real life.
I say than “friends” in real life because I kind if feel like the friendships are more real in a sense than the love, in here. Don’t get me wrong I do love the love too, which sounds funny to say. But it’s loving friends in here that is my favorite part. I’d say the best thing I’ve learned in here is to love with all my heart. And I honestly couldn’t put just one person’s pictures up for this one so I picked a couple (not all!) of the IMVU girls who I feel so strongly connected right into my heart. You’ll find your own people and understand when it happens to you.
57 Ways to show someone you love them in IMVU
This is a post I want other people to help add to. Leave a comment here or send me a message in IMVU (my screen name in IMVU is Kaitlyn if you don’t know me.) I will edit the list and add your suggestions.
- Notes, especially ones with good letters or a mushy saying or story
- Gifts (must have romantic special notes)
- More notes, poems, compliments, and heart felt love
- Telling them you love them in front of other people and mutual friends
- Putting a picture of you both on your profile
- Introducing them to your friends (as your GF or VBF or something sappy)
- Going out of your way to spend time together
- Be interested in their activities and the things they like
- Make (develop) a picture of them or both of you for the wall in your room
- Go shopping and get them things that show you know and care about them
- Buy a shirt or necklace with their name on it or that says I love you and wear it with them.
- Get a heart effect for after you have sex with them.
- Invite them to fun different rooms, not just your default room.
- Make them laugh.
- Share sad times and be there for them when they need it.
- Do real life things like eating a meal or watching a movie with them.
- Pay attention to their fav songs and fav type of music and make a mix with their name.
- If they are a developer send several people one of their newest items and ask them to leave you a good review. This makes the developer love you (you probably have to tell them though) and it also impresses the people you give the items too.
- Write a prayer for them.
- Take lots of pictures of them and make a photo album of just you and them.
- Get a head sign that says I LOVE YOU and just put it on when they’re around.
- Randomly just say you sneak over and kiss, caress, tease or spank them (in other words, little comments)
- Get excited when they enter a room.
- Send flowers or one gift every morning.
- Have a custom voice box made with their name so you can call them by name or say I Love You Holly.
- Go over board for birthday or any special event for them
- Listen, really listen to them
- Go to whatever room they are in.
- But give them space
- Dress a like (sometimes)
- Adjust your look to things they like
- Always be supportive and put their needs first
- If someone gives you a gift let them see you using it.
- Treat something they gave you as extra special and keep it with you.
- Spend time with them even when you’re busy.
- Share your fantasies
- Figure out their fantasies and make them happen
- Find their hot buttons and push them often
- Plan dates together
- Find fun rooms to share and explore with them
- Accept them for who they are
- We all have sore spots and weaknesses, understand and be careful of theirs
- Accept their boundaries but know when to push them a little too.
- Care about their needs more than your own
- Never ever be jealous
- Defend them
- Edify them and put them on a pedastle
- Be open and sharing
- Be vulnerable
- Cuddle often.
- Include their fav positions, or imvu dances in any room you make.
- Find excuses to touch them.
- Get a tattoo with their name on it or just that says taken.
- Teach them how to do something
- Take a virtual class about something you are both interested in.
- If they have a job in here whether it’s as a dancer or developer, help them do it or do it with them.
- Play a virtual game with them
Love takes some time
A great friend had an experience that brought up a good point. She met someone who she liked but was saying she’s totally in love with her way to fast and it makes her worry. It’s good to wear your heart on your sleeve but just like the real world, don’t say you love someone the first time you meet them. This place is built on pure emotion and I’ve said it is Miracle Grow for relationships, but it also proves again that taking your time can definitely make things last longer and be stronger. So don’t rush. The falling in love, new love, early stages are so much fun. Enjoy that and keep it light. That’s Ally’s and my short tip for today.
My new love Tammy
Isn’t new love the best? It makes the whole world seem wonderful and you sunny. I wanted to share a few pics of my wonderful love, Tammy. It’s only a couple days I know but I feel so awesome I just had to share. You know how that goes when you just can’t think of anything else. I love you Tammy.
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The most attractive quality is LOVE.
I recently met an amazing new friend and learned something or was reminded of something, very important. The most attractive quality anyone can have in IMVU or real life isn’t a certain look or even something with pixels. The most attractive characteristic someone can have is love.
In some ways it’s tricky because you don’t want to scare them or make them think you’re a stalker by coming on too strong. The right amount of love might also vary from person to person. But we’re all ultimately looking for love and can’t help but be attracted to a person that gives it to them.
I actually wasn’t even looking for love at all, at least not from anyone new. I have a lot of great friends here already. I have a wife, a family, some tremendous friends, an Alien Mistress, a couple cuddle buddies, and a whole slew of friends. Yet I have to tell you, the depth of Tammy’s love and passion bowled me over and makes my head spin. So wear your heart on your sleeve in here and share it as freely and purely as possible. The more you give it away, the more it’ll come back to you.
The difference between men and women
It’s no shock that men and women are different. But alot of people may not realize the differences in how they cyber. These are only generalizations so they don’t apply on an individual basis. The simplest way to explain it is that guys have sex and girls make love. Again that’s probably not a news flash.
Guys like poses and voiceboxes because they are more visual oriented and need to see and hear it. They also tend to want real life pictures much more thsn girls which I admit i dont get at all being married irl. Girls on the other hand can stay in the same kissing pose and do it all with words. I think this is why girls love romance novels and guys like porn. I think this bcause whats sexy to guys is the physical and whats sexy for a girl, especially on here is the partners mind. Girls can also talk more about their heart and love where guys talk about… well they just don’t talk as much cause they’re typing with one hand.
Love also takes longer and takes more than just a sex room. And can’t they put more cuddle and kissing spots?! Its funny though because both sides have their pluses. A heartfelt love is way beyond even good or great sex, but by 2 or 3am sometimes I just want sex too. But back to the topic, the reason you want to know and understand the differences is that it will make you a better lover and help you get what you really want too.
Nobody’s Perfect
We’re still real people and nobody is as perfect as they project in here. It’s easy to forget that sometimes. Our mind fills in the gaps with beauty, especially when we’re in love! We get caught up and see what we want to see and refuse to see things that don’t fit the image we’ve created. It’s not your fault, we all do it.
I think it’s part of nature and our drive. It helps us fall in love and get married. Reality usually sets in after a while. That’s when we say “the honeymoon is over.” I’m not saying to rush through that fantasy, love stage. Enjoy it! Just don’t make crazy decisions in that stage. You’re not perfect and ultimately neither is the other person.
Does a virtual relationship hurt your real life relationships?
That was an important question for me, being married and very worried about affecting my real life relationships and family. I have to admit that it does a little. But what surprised me, was how positive that can be. It does occasionally hurt it a little when my virtual relations are struggling. But at least for me, the ups were much more pronounced than the downs. And they never really competed or seemed as mutually exclusive as I was afraid it might.
I often refer to the Las Vegas rules, meaning what happens here stays here, but there is an exception, and that’s the warm loving feeling you get from the the love you can’t help but feel here. My Love asked me recently if I thought about her when I was with my RL spouse. I said that I didn’t really picture her, but I did feel her and her love, not only with my RL spouse, but in every relationship I have in RL or IMVU. You can’t help but spill that amazing loving feeling you get into everything in your life. I try to hide the tears, and share the love.
